He Washes Over Me
Today I am linking up with the Faith Barista who has asked that we share a time recently where we’ve felt close to God.
One of my favorite places to meet with God is in the place of worship. Whether it be at home, in my car, at the House of Prayer, or anywhere. When I am worshiping the Lord is when I fell the closest to Him.
On one particular Sunday morning not too long ago, it was a struggle to just get to church. I got up late, didn’t sleep well the night before, and a couple of the kids were having particularly bad attitudes (hmm, do you think it might have been because I was rushing them out the door due to my lateness?) When I arrived at church, I did my best to smile and greet and answer “just wonderful” when asked how I was. (Even though deep down I wanted to scream “I am not doing too hot today”.) After averting a few crises that often come my way due to my position as one of the staff, I finally made my way to my seat in the front row, which I’ve missed for what seems like an eternity. It had been awhile since I participated in Sunday morning corporate worship, as my ministry needs had kept me loving on the preschoolers the last several weeks.
I just knew it was going to be an awesome time of worship. And I just knew that God was going to meet me from the first note. Or not. As worship started I began to lift my voice and even lifted my hands in worship, showing the outward expression of my heart. But was it really? You see, I was still carrying the load from the morning — the sharpness of tone towards my children, the scowl I gave my husband, my lack of eating a proper breakfast, my lack of stopping and asking God’s blessing on my day. After the first song or two came and went, I still didn’t feel anything. I didn’t feel close to God, and I certainly didn’t feel as if He’d come to meet me.
Out of my desperation to have a fresh touch from Him, I continued to press in. As I postured myself to receive, I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit regarding my morning. Yes, He was there to meet me, but was my heart postured in such a way to meet Him? Or was I simply going through the motions hoping He would not pass me by that morning? In that moment, I began to confess and ask His forgiveness regarding the morning’s events. I became clay in the hands of the potter, allowing Him to soften my heart. And then the tears came. I was overcome with His love and felt as if He were standing right next to me. I purposed in my hear to draw near to Him. And I allowed Him to do what He wanted in my heart.
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (James 4:8)
When my heart is open to the Lord, in an attitude of worship, as well as open to receiving His instruction and discipline, He comes, like a flood, and washes over me. It is His truth that sets me free to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. Thank you Father, for your outpouring of love and grace on my life.
Do you have a story to share about a particular time you’ve felt close to God? You can link up with Bonnie or leave a comment below.