11 In Faith

He Washes Over Me

Today I am linking up with the Faith Barista who has asked that we share a time recently where we’ve felt close to God.

One of my favorite places to meet with God is in the place of worship.  Whether it be at home, in my car, at the House of Prayer, or anywhere.  When I am worshiping the Lord is when I fell the closest to Him.

On one particular Sunday morning not too long ago, it was a struggle to just get to church.  I got up late, didn’t sleep well the night before, and a couple of the kids were having particularly bad attitudes (hmm, do you think it might have been because I was rushing them out the door due to my lateness?)  When I arrived at church, I did my best to smile and greet and answer “just wonderful” when asked how I was.  (Even though deep down I wanted to scream “I am not doing too hot today”.)  After averting a few crises that often come my way due to my position as one of the staff, I finally made my way to my seat in the front row, which I’ve missed for what seems like an eternity.  It had been awhile since I participated in Sunday morning corporate worship, as my ministry needs had kept me loving on the preschoolers the last several weeks.

I just knew it was going to be an awesome time of worship.  And I just knew that God was going to meet me from the first note.  Or not.  As worship started I began to lift my voice and even lifted my hands in worship, showing the outward expression of my heart.  But was it really?  You see, I was still carrying the load from the morning — the sharpness of tone towards my children, the scowl I gave my husband, my lack of eating a proper breakfast, my lack of stopping and asking God’s blessing on my day.  After the first song or two came and went, I still didn’t feel anything. I didn’t feel close to God, and I certainly didn’t feel as if He’d come to meet me.

Out of my desperation to have a fresh touch from Him, I continued to press in.  As I postured myself to receive, I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit regarding my morning.  Yes, He was there to meet me, but was my heart postured in such a way to meet Him?  Or was I simply going through the motions hoping He would not pass me by that morning?  In that moment, I began to confess and ask His forgiveness regarding the morning’s events.  I became clay in the hands of the potter, allowing Him to soften my heart.  And then the tears came.  I was overcome with His love and felt as if He were standing right next to me.  I purposed in my hear to draw near to Him.  And I allowed Him to do what He wanted in my heart.

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  (James 4:8)

When my heart is open to the Lord, in an attitude of worship, as well as open to receiving His instruction and discipline, He comes, like a flood, and washes over me.  It is His truth that sets me free to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.  Thank you Father, for your outpouring of love and grace on my life.

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Do you have a story to share about a particular time you’ve felt close to God?  You can link up with Bonnie or leave a comment below.

11 Comments

  • Reply
    Joan
    August 5, 2011 at 12:32 am

    I find that praise and worship music often bring me into a deep sense of God’s presence – even on “those kind of days.”

    Great post!

  • Reply
    Melanie
    August 5, 2011 at 12:33 am

    Barbie, this is a great story. I too have lived this moment… you could have been telling my story! I suppose any mom and any woman in ministry can relate to these moments… and the need to let go and ask for forgiveness. It’s such a sweet moment when that forgiveness washes over us and we experience such communion with God!

    Thank you, too, for stopping by my blog!

  • Reply
    Lisa
    August 5, 2011 at 12:38 am

    Barbie,  I can relate as I have been there in worship too.  God is looking for a humbled heart, not just the appearance of humility.  I don’t want to go through the motions, but truly draw near to Him because then He will draw near to me. 

  • Reply
    Kerri Smith
    August 5, 2011 at 1:52 am

    This sounds just like my Sunday morning that just past! It was when I finally poured my heart out to him asking for forgiveness, that He jumped in with an outpouring of His Spirit to fill my cup to overflowing! Beautiful post, Barbie!

  • Reply
    Child of God
    August 5, 2011 at 2:50 am

    Thanks for sharing this. 🙂 I too love to worship and feel very close to God when I do so even if I start off with a not so good attitude. :s

    My best time of worship was when I had a set of flags in my hands and the Spirit freed me and I danced and danced and knelt and cried and then danced and danced for God. It was such a time of freedom and total submission to God, not caring what anyone else thought only that I was totally on fire for God and worshiping Him in the way He created me to.

    Blessings,
    <

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 5, 2011 at 6:44 am

      I use to head up a dance ministry.  I remember those times when I would dance before the Lord.  His presence was so sweet.  I loved the freedom He brought to me in that season.  Thank you for sharing!

  • Reply
    Beth Herring
    August 5, 2011 at 3:58 am

    nothing is quite as amazing as pure worship!

  • Reply
    Diana
    August 5, 2011 at 6:20 am

    I can hardly bear to miss a Sunday worship… but sometimes, yes, I’m disappointed because my health does keep me home. When I have to miss worship, my week just isn’t the same. But I try to stay in close with the Lord even though I missed the formal praise time on Sunday.

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us, Barbie! ♥

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    August 5, 2011 at 10:13 am

    I think we all have done the same thing.  Rushed to get to church, snapped at a few people on the way — then try to worship.  What a wonderful post as always!

    Love and hugs to you!
    Beth

  • Reply
    Cherry
    August 5, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    Thanks for this reminder to make sure that we are in the right posture to meet with Him … I liked this, “Yes, He was there to meet me, but was my heart postured in such a way to meet Him?”  And thanks for visiting me at Pursuing Heart, and for the encouraging words you left there.

  • Reply
    Jennifer
    August 5, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    I’m so greatful that God meets us when we draw near to Him, even with a heart full of shame.  Thanks, Barbie!

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