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10 Ways To Treat Myself Well In 2012

“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” – Leo F. Buscaglia

As a busy wife, mother, employee and woman in ministry, I do not often find the time to just be by myself.  It seems like I am always taking care of someone, or handling a task for someone.  Not that I am complaining.  I love my family and I have a dream job.  But I think you ladies would agree that most often we put the needs of everyone else before our own.  We don’t often give ourselves permission to be the individual that God created us to be.  But when we do, we are better wives, mothers and employees, and we are just more pleasant to be around.

I found this link up today, and thought it would be a great way to get my thoughts on the subject down so that I can remember some of the ways that I am going to treat myself well in the coming year.  And since I will not be making any resolutions (because I am a perfectionist and the word “resolution” just scares me), I am listing these 10 things as goals I will be striving for in 2012, in no particular order:

{ONE}Speak only good and positive things about myself.

I can be my own worst enemy, and frankly, I am a bit ashamed of the things that come out of my mouth, about myself.  Negative self talk kills the spirit.  I want to speak life, purpose and destiny over myself.  I think I will accomplish a lot more if I am feeling good about myself, after having built myself up with the truth of how He sees and feels about me.

{TWO} – Make my time with the Lord a priority.

I will admit that I am not a morning person.  I do not rise easily at the crack of dawn, before my household awakes, to spend time with the Lord.  But because of this, I often find my “quiet time” with the Lord isn’t so quiet.  I believe in “praying continually and without ceasing”, but there is something about spending those first few moments with the Lord in the morning.  I want to make Him a priority.  I want to make being with Him the one thing that I cannot go without.

{THREE} – Stop feeling guilty for having fun without the family.

My husband is amazing and understands that I need quality time alone or with my girlfriends.  I am wired for relationship.  He has never once complained and my kids do pretty well.  But I continually beat myself up for having fun without them.  I understand that being a wife and mom is a 24/7 job, but God created me an individual first so I must allow myself that time to grow as an individual.  I think I am a better wife and mom for it.

{FOUR} – Don’t attempt to do it all.

I don’t ever accomplish all that I want to, especially where my home is concerned.  Working full time, it’s almost impossible.  I am so thankful that I have a husband who is not a neat freak and doesn’t care if the laundry or dishes get done each night.  I, on the other hand, feel guilty when things are left undone and will exhaust myself trying to catch up.  I really want to come to a place where I realize that I cannot do it all.  I want to focus on smaller, more manageable tasks to help accomplish the bigger goals.

{FIVE} – Get more sleep.

Okay, I’ve said it. Now, will you hold me accountable?  Many of you know that I burn the midnight oil — blogging, catching up on housework, vegging in front of the TV or reading.  And although a couple of nights a week of this are okay, when I consistently do it every night I lose my ability to function at the level that my famly needs me.  I want to be healthy and happy, and getting more sleep is key.

{SIX} – Get healthy.

Along with sleep, there are some very specific things the Lord has been talking to me about concerning  my diet that really must change.  I have so many reasons to want to get healthy — my daughter is getting married next summer, I have children that aren’t yet grown, I will have grandchildren one day, etc.  But in order to get healthy and make the changes that I  need to make, I will have to make myself a priority.  This is hard for me.  So please pray that I will be able to accomplish this goal.  I hope to blog my journey with regard to diet and weight loss if the Lord would have me do so.

{SEVEN} – Pamper myself.

This doesn’t mean I will be getting my hair done every six weeks, or  getting manicures and pedicures.  That would be nice, but not the necessary pampering I am speaking up.  Perhaps I steal away to soak in the tub, or sip a hot cup of tea while watching a chick flick (by myself).  Or maybe I take a long walk in the cool, crisp air, while reflecting on the goodness of the Lord.  Or perhaps I ask my daughter to rub my feet, for FREE!  (I usually pay her $.50 per foot)!  Or maybe I put on a little more makeup than usual one day and a nice new (or old) outfit, just because.  Whatever it is, I will take time to make myself feel beautiful.

{EIGHT} – Laugh.

I don’t laugh nearly enough.  Do you know how I know this?  When I do find myself laughing, I can’t stop and I have what my children call “a laughing, crying fit”.  Laughter is good for the soul, medicine for a weary heart.  I am going to allow laughter to overflow out of my heart on a more regular basis.

{NINE} – Smile.

My children tell me that I frown a lot.  They are probably right.  I want to smile more, to show outwardly the joy and love that I feel inwardly.  Perhaps I need more inward joy?  I am working at it.

{TEN} –  Embrace grace.

I still struggle with the need to please, to be perfect, to not allow myself to fall short.  I still carry things from my past that have shaped who I am and what I believe about myself.  God has given me so much grace.  I want to learn to embrace grace.  I don’t want to always feel like I am a failure and don’t measure up.  This book is helping me to conquer my past.

This is my list of goals on how I plan to treat myself well in 2012. Will you share with me in the comments below one way you will treat yourself well in the coming year?

Top Ten {Tuesday}

I am linking up for the first time with Oh Amanda for Top Ten Tuesday.

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45 Comments

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    December 27, 2011 at 5:20 am

    Happy New Year, sweet friend!

    I so enjoyed your list. Honestly, I could sign my initials by all 10, claiming them as my own! 

    May we continue to encourage each other in 2012 and beyond…

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:09 pm

      Thank you Stefanie.  It’s so good to keep these things in front of me.

      • Reply
        Anonymous
        December 29, 2011 at 6:15 am

        You’re welcome, Barbie!

        Happy New Year…

  • Reply
    Amy Bennett
    December 27, 2011 at 6:43 am

    This is a great list.  Having fun without the kids pricked me this morning.  I love it but always feel guilty that I did it.  And yes, get healthy!  Must do better at this!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:10 pm

      I think it’s in our nature as moms to always be thinking about our kids.  But it’s so healthy for us to have those little moments apart from them.  It makes us appreciate with more!  Thanks for stopping by Amy!

  • Reply
    Caroline @UnderGod'sMightyHand
    December 27, 2011 at 7:43 am

    Ooh #1 gets me right away. I am (unfortunately) good at being self-deprecating. I need this goal, too. And yes, yes, yes on #2 and #10!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:10 pm

      Thank you for stopping by Caroline!

  • Reply
    Tammy Helfrich
    December 27, 2011 at 8:50 am

    Great list! I think it is something that most of us women struggle with. Treating ourselves as well as we treat others. Looking forward to 2012!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:11 pm

      Thank you Tammy!

  • Reply
    Christina Berry
    December 27, 2011 at 11:21 am

    I love this post, Barbie! These are things we all should remember to do for ourselves! I really  believe we can’t be expected to take care of our homes and our families if we aren’t first taking care of ourselves. It’s not selfish to be kind to oneself. Thanks for reminding us of that fact!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:11 pm

      Well put Christina! 

  • Reply
    Lisa notes
    December 27, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    What a beautiful list. I could take those as a list for myself too. Embrace grace–my favorite.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:12 pm

      I have been learning to embrace grace.  It’s hard for me.  But so thankful God keeps extending grace to me so that I can learn to accept it.

  • Reply
    Tammig99
    December 27, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Wow! You put into words what most of us need to put into
    action. Thanks for sharing. I pray we all can strive
    to treat ourselves better in the new year. God
    bless!!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:13 pm

      Amen!  Thank you for visiting!

  • Reply
    jennifer blair
    December 27, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    This is a great list! I will have to make one myself too! 

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:14 pm

      You should definately make a list!  Thanks for visiting.

  • Reply
    Rosann
    December 27, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    Love this post!  I think I need to add this list to my 2012 goals!  🙂  Happy New Year!
    ~Blessings,
    Rosann

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:15 pm

      It’s good to keep these things in front of us. It’s so important to treat ourselves well.  Thanks for stopping by Rosann!

  • Reply
    Beki - TheRustedChain
    December 27, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    This is beautiful, Barbie.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:16 pm

      Thank you so much Beki!

  • Reply
    Laura Boggess
    December 27, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    I am loving these “non” resolutions :)! I could used to invest in a few of these too, Barbie. Thank you for reminding me to take care of me too. Happy New Year and many blessings.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:17 pm

      We are better when we take care of ourselves.  Thanks for stopping by Laura!

  • Reply
    Debbie
    December 27, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    I love your list Barbie.  It is so important to take care of ourselves.  Otherwise, we’re not much good to others.  Wise advice!  I will check out the link you mentioned.

    Here’s to living intentionally in 2012!

    Blessings and love,
    Debbie

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:18 pm

      Thanks for visiting Debbie!  I hope to head down to Arizona sometime next year (when it’s not so hot).

  • Reply
    Lindy Kaden
    December 27, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    #5 is so hard for me too!  It’s my time without the kids and once I get my list done, I just want to relax. I want to be happy and healthy as well.  I think sleep is a good start to that!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:19 pm

      There always seems to be so much to do.  I am having to learn to let things go and push them over to another day. Hard, but a must.  Thanks Lindy!

  • Reply
    Carolyn
    December 27, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    Very good tips there, I need to take those on board myself, happy new year to you!! 🙂

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:19 pm

      Thanks Carolyn!

  • Reply
    Sherrey
    December 27, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    Barbie, your list is so me, especially #1 and #6.  I’m always talking myself down and when I get down far enough, my emotions take over and I E-A-T!  Please, if you can fit it into your scheme of pampering yourself, blog about your dieting efforts.  We can do this through sharing out efforts — I’m reading Lysa TerKeust’s Made to Crave, again. 

    BTW, thanks for your prayers recently and your latest comment on my blog.  You have encouraged me in so many ways.  I’m afraid I don’t show you enough gratitude and appreciation for your online ministry!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:21 pm

      I do admit that I eat to fill voids that otherwise are supposed to be filled by God.  I have Made to Crave, but have never read past Chapter 1.  Perhaps that would be a good starting point for me?  And I do believe I will blog my journey.  I know that it will help me to stay accountable, and help others at the same time.  You are a blessing!

  • Reply
    jkhenderson3
    December 27, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    Oh, my! How much your list matches what I need to do to treat myself well in 2012! Indeed, the perfectionist in me could never call these resolutions either. Have mercy. Talk about a terrifying word! 🙂
    I, too, need to be more careful how I speak about myself, not try to get it all done, get more sleep, eat better, stop feeling guilty for having fun without my family, and get back to my consistent morning quiet time. And I need to smile at my children more. I realize my at home face really needs to be more cheery, more positive, more encouraging.
    Praying for you as you and the Lord work on this list together. 🙂 And going to Him asking Him how He wants me to treat myself better in 2012. MUCH LOVE,
    Kimberly 

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:22 pm

      For as long as I can remember I’ve had lists of resolutions only to fail at meeting them.  I’ve been “anti resolution” for a few years now.  Maybe one day I will be able to make them again.  You bless me with your encouragement!

  • Reply
    Denise Oldham
    December 27, 2011 at 11:26 pm

    Fantastic post.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:22 pm

      Thank you Denise!

  • Reply
    Alene Snodgrass
    December 28, 2011 at 9:39 am

    Love this! As I have taken this week to pray, plan, and prepare I’m reminded here that I need to remember to make time to do these things well. And while they are not specifically written on my  goal sheet, they are the more essential or all else fails. Thank you sweet friend!!!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:23 pm

      And I think you should put them on the TOP of your goal sheet!  Thanks for your words my friend!

  • Reply
    Venessa
    December 28, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    Can I just steal your list? All 10 are things that I need to aim for myself! Here is to meeting some goals in 2012!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:23 pm

      Steal away my friend!  I am thankful to walk the journey with you.

  • Reply
    The Housewife
    December 28, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    I really need to read Emily’s book. Grace has been a struggle for me to grasp — just out of reach. I’m learning though. 🙂 I’m right there with you on numbers 1-9 too. Great list!!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 28, 2011 at 10:24 pm

      Emily’s book has been such an eye opener to so much of my past and why I am the way I am.  I highly recommend it.

  • Reply
    Kathy
    December 29, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    I just found your blog through a link at A Holy Experience.  Thank you for your candor.
    Amazing how your list connects with so many – including me!  I’ll say a prayer for you and me each time I open your blog – strength to follow through each day.  🙂

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 29, 2011 at 5:45 pm

      Thank you Kathy!  I appreciate your visit.

  • Reply
    Kathy
    December 29, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    Amazing how your list connects so personally with so many, myself included.  So easy to forget we are special too and deserve the same respect and care we lavish on others .  Thank you so much for you candor.

  • Reply
    Stopnsmellchocolate
    January 1, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    That’s a wonderful list Barbie!  I definitely need to make time again in the mornings to read my Bible and pray.  Kiddo and I read the Bible together as part of homeschooling, but it isn’t the same for me.  And I need sleep too!  Homeschooling is starting later and later as I struggle to be up and functional for the day.  Happy New Year!

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