37 In Book study

Made to Crave – Week 4 {Accountability}

Today we are sharing our thoughts on Chapter 4 of Made to Crave.  If you wrote a post, will you link up here so that we can encourage one another on our journey?

This chapter really stuck with me, and it’s something I’ve been mulling over for a few days.  Bottom line, I cannot do this.  I am weak.  Do I have the desire?  I think so.  Do I know that I will feel better when I get the weight off?  I hope so.  Do I believe I am strong enough?  Nope.

Instead of sharing a recap of this chapter, can I share my heart with you?  You see, perhaps if I share with you the pain in my struggle, the disappointments, the hard places, maybe you can encourage me along the way.  And perhaps I will grab fuel from your fire, just enough for one more day.

I am going to be completely raw with you. It’s a vulnerable place, but I trust you.  I do not believe that I can do this.  Which is perhaps why I’ve done nothing so far on this journey but entertain the thoughts of what if’s and perhaps one day’s.  I have to confess.  I am allowing fear to keep me from pursuing what I so desire to become my reality.

Fear of failure.

Fear of lack.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear that what I hope for will not come to pass.

I’ve poured my heart out to God and told Him I was sorry for not taking His hand and trusting Him in this process.  I’ve repented of the fact that most days, I do not put Him first, because if I truly did, I wouldn’t feel the need to fill every void in my heart with food.  But the neat thing about God is that He already knows this and yet still He waits for me to come to Him.  He is waiting for me with open arms.  And He whispers to my heart,

“You don’t have to be perfect, but you have to begin.  Are you willing to take my hand, letting go of your fear, and fall forward into the grace that I will so freely give you on this journey?  You can do this.  Do not allow fear to paralyze and immobilize you.  Walk forward and give yourself the freedom to change, and know that I am right here to catch you if you fall.”

So we are talking about accountability today.  I have never, ever been so raw and personal before on my blog.  I have hesitated to share my weight with you out of fear that I wouldn’t be accepted.  But I am tired of listening to the lies of the enemy, who only comes to kill, steal and destroy.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)

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So as I move forward on this journey, each week I will share with you my WI, as well as a little recap of how I am doing (what’s working, what’s not, how you can pray for me).  Even if there is one person coming to encourage me, that may be all the fuel I need to keep going.  I hope you don’t mind.  I need the accountability.  I need you to “get in my face” with your comments and give me some tough love!  I give you permission!  Just tell me to “back away” from the sugar which is destroying my body.

So what is my plan?

I’ve known forever that I must rid my body of it’s addiction to sugar.  But being an emotional eater, it’s been really hard.  Here’s another confession:  Every time I visit the grocery store, I get a candy bar and eat it on the way home.  This may not seem like any big deal to you.  But for me, it’s about shoving food that isn’t good for my body into me as a means to relieve stress or other feelings that I just can’t seem to cope with.  Do any of you sneak food as a means of coping?  For too long I have allowed the enemy to tell me to keep this a secret, because after all, if I were a good Christian I wouldn’t need to fill my voids with Hershey Bars and Peanut M&M’s.  Well, I’ve told him where he can go!

So, beginning tomorrow (and I mean it), I am going to begin weaning myself off sugar.  But I need you to pray for me.  This is a huge bondage in my life and it needs to be broken.  I also must commit to drinking more water.  I drank 3 bottles today, which is okay, but I need to triple that.  And, beginning tomorrow I will be using MyFitnessPal to log in what I eat every day.  I will also commit to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly here on my blog.

Starting Weight:  201.8
First goal: 175

So there you have it.  Too much weight for my 5’2″ frame.  Hopefully next week I will post a loss!

Thank you for sticking with me on this journey.  I know these posts are much different than what you are used to seeing here, but it’s only once a week.  And this is me being raw and real.  I so appreciate your support and encouragement.  Now it’s time to link up your posts so that I can come and encourage you!  Be sure to stop over to Venessa’s blogand leave her some encouragement too!

37 Comments

  • Reply
    Hopebuilder01
    February 3, 2012 at 6:27 am

    Hi Barbie, Just wanted to stop by and say “I know you can do it.” When you have a goal in front of you like an upcoming wedding it seems to give an added bit of determination. I was able to lose 25 – 30 lbs. for each of my 2 daughter’s weddings. I will pray for you. In Jesus, Dayna

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:49 pm

      Thank you so much Dayna!

  • Reply
    Lindy Kaden
    February 3, 2012 at 7:54 am

    You can do it!  When I started to lose weight I only drank water.  No more diet pop, crystal light, nothing just plain old water.  I really think it helped.  Pray without ceasing and remember your goal is to bless the temple of your body that God gave you!  

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:48 pm

      Thank you friend.  I don’t drink soda, so that isn’t a problem. I do, however love coffee.  But I have switched to non-fat, sugar free, at least while I try to process whether I am going to give up dairy, but that would be way down the road! 

  • Reply
    Linda
    February 3, 2012 at 8:04 am

    Go Barbie Go!  You can do it girl!  I am right there with ya.  I need to lose weight for my health’s sake.  I am 5 ft. 6in and I am twenty pounds more than you!  (I can’t really believe I am this size….it just really isn’t good for me…emotionally or physically.)  I will pray for you if you will pray for me.  I am cutting back on sugar, and salt, and fat.   Eating healthy isn’t hard for me…portion size is.  I probably need to cut portions way back, and get some more exercise.  I have already started walking with Leslie Sansone DVD’s and also just in front of the tv.  I watch Millionare and walk and do steps and exercises the whole 30 minutes.  You should try it, it is kind of fun and I forget I am exerting myself as I get into the show.  I have lost 4 pounds so far…..but I have a loooong way to go!  But I have to be excited about each little loss.  One day at a time!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:47 pm

      Yes Linda, I am here for you and will pray for you.  I use to do the Leslie Sansone DVDs.  Right now, I need to get a little weight off, because I can hardly walk without it hurting.  But once I do, it will be near spring time and time to go for 2 mile walks!  Thanks for taking the time to encourage me today!

  • Reply
    Nikki
    February 3, 2012 at 8:27 am

    You can do this, Barbie. You are worth it. Your health is worth it. You deserve to feel better. 
    this is what I struggled with most last year. of feeling like it was worth it. That I was worth the effort….
    For me, wheat was my nemesis. I was addicted to pasta, bread, etc… And my fast was brutal. migraines, mood swings, etc… Please know I’ll be praying for you, Barbie, because I know how hard this is. 
    But you are worth it. You deserve to feel better. Your family deserves to see you overcome this. They’ll look at you differently. And you will love the outcome. 
    You can do it. You are worth it. You deserve to have the body God intended for you. 
    And God will supply what you need to fill that void as long as you empty the space you’ve been filling.
    Stop trying to do it alone. Let Him. Because you’re worth it to Him. 
    You take that first huge step, He’ll help you take the rest.  
    You can do this. You are worth it. 

    And thank you for allowing us to cheer you on. We’re proud of you. We see your beauty in all its splendor. And we know your value. 

    You are worth it. 

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:46 pm

      Girl, I think I’d better stock up on the Kleenex before I read any of your comments!  You really encouraged me and made me smile today.  Yes, I am worth it!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  • Reply
    The Housewife
    February 3, 2012 at 8:32 am

    I support you 100%!!! Take small steps, but don’t give up. Replace the bad with something else, that’s good. Reward yourself for small progress. Don’t be afraid to be honest with people. You’ve already started that! =)

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:45 pm

      Thank you!  I appreciate your encouragement so much!

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    February 3, 2012 at 8:59 am

    Oh, Barbie…you are brave, and with God’s help, you can do it! Thanks for sharing so I know how to pray for you today.  I don’t know if this will help, but what helps me is to have a verse, or prayer to go to instead of whatever the temptation is, and, for you, maybe having a healthy alternative snack to the sugary one.   Thank you for trusting us enough to share…love to you!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:45 pm

      Thank you my friend!

  • Reply
    charis
    February 3, 2012 at 10:22 am

    i really believe you are going to continue to encounter God is a really intimate way as you embark on this journey to lose weight.  also, i think confessing about the candy on the way home from shopping is such a great step – the enemy wants us to think we have to hide and darkness is where he can trick us in all manner of sin.  just bringing something to light that felt like it needed to be hidden breaks so much of the power right then and there. 

    even though i don’t need to lose weight, i do notice unhealthy coping with certain foods when i am having a hard time emotionally… just confessing these to my husband and to God in the middle of emotional struggles help so much.  it doesn’t mean that i don’t still sometimes find comfort in chocolate or something like that when i should be turning to God first, but in tell God and someone else that i am feeling very weak and out of control helps my spirit connect to His and feel His tenderness in my weakness. 

    i am sure you will encounter many layers of weakness as you embark on this journey, but the intimacy that it deepens will be so worth it – more than even the weight you lose.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:45 pm

      Thank you Charis!  I truly appreciate you taking the time to stop by and encourage me.  And yes, I need to have those around me, especially my husband, who I can confess my weaknesses to so that they can hold me up! 

  • Reply
    Child of God
    February 3, 2012 at 10:33 am

    Hello my sweet California friend! You CAN do this! One little baby step at a time. I help hold you accountable and I will continue to pray for you. 

    Try replacing sugar with Stevia, a natural sweetener made from sugar which has 0 calories http://www.stevia.com You can also get that sugar fix you need by having a bit of honey. Yes there are calories there but it is a food which is good for you. 

    Lifting you up to our God. 🙂
    <

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:43 pm

      Hey friend!  Thank you for your email.  I will reply back to you soon!  And I do like Stevia. Matter of fact, I have some of the liquid flavor Stevia for my coffee.  Thank you so much for your encouragement!

  • Reply
    Laura Rath
    February 3, 2012 at 10:35 am

    You can do this Barbie, with God’s help, you can do it! As I was thinking of you, Philippians 4:13 came to mind. “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. ” This Scripture gives me confidence to do the things I’m not sure I can do. Perhaps it will help you too. 

    Another quote that came to mind is from This One Thing by Andy Stanley, which I’d never heard before a post on MOD Squad on Jan. 23. http://modsquadblog.com/2012/01/this-one-thing/  It’s a 45 min. message and worth the time. The quote “I am doing a great thing, and I cannot come down.” hasn’t left me since I watched it.

    Drinking enough water is tough for me and I know I still don’t drink enough. Water (more than a few sips) on an empty stomach first thing in the morning makes me sick. So, I add a Propel packet to my first bottle of water. It helps get me started with water first thing. (There are other types, I just like Propel because it’s clear.)

    I’ll be praying for you!
    In Christ,
    Laura

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:42 pm

      Yes!  I am claiming that scripture now!  And I do like Propel.  I am just afraid of unnatural sugar substitutes.  Thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement.

  • Reply
    Ann
    February 3, 2012 at 10:44 am

    Looks like there are several of us that are going to be watching your blog updates and keeping you accountable, Barbie!! I know what it’s like to struggle with staying with it, especially when stress or events in our lives want us to give in to the cravings! My worst time is at night before bed. I have already messed up several times and my weight loss as come to a stand-still again! (It can be depressing). But I’m more determined to not give up! You need to do the same, my friend! Look to God for your focus when your walk by that candy bar in the store! I’m praying for you!!!

    In His Lo♥e, Ann

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:41 pm

      Thank you so much Ann!  I really appreciate you!

  • Reply
    Alecia Simersky
    February 3, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    You can do it Barbie!! Always remember “You Were Made For More!!!” I’ll be praying for you!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:40 pm

      Thank you so much for reinforcing this truth Alecia!

  • Reply
    Kerri Smith
    February 3, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    Oh Barbie, my friend…I wish I could just give you a big hug right now!! First…thank you for being so honest…it isn’t easy to admit to weight issues, addictions and failings….I know!! Second…YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Third….I will tell you a little secret that helped me….I quit grocery shopping….because I too would sneak in that chocolate bar at the cash(as well as a few snacks in the cart). My hubby now does the shopping with a list I have made and does not bring home anything that is not on that list. It works for us because it gives him some “quiet” minutes away from the hustle of life and it keeps the junk out of our home!
    My prayers are with you this week, my friend!!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:40 pm

      Thank you my friend.  Ha ha, my husband would not do well at the grocery store.  It would totally stress him out.  I went to the store today and didn’t sneak the candy bar! Victory for today!

      • Reply
        Kerri Smith
        February 4, 2012 at 3:12 pm

        awesome job!! keep up the good work!!

  • Reply
    Charina
    February 3, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    I know you can do it Barbie! And with God on your side, nothing is impossible.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:39 pm

      Thank you so much my friend!

  • Reply
    Dalia
    February 3, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    Oh Barbie, You’re not alone on this journey.  Many of us have the same fears, issues…
    I believe that you can do it, why?  The Lord is on your side my friend:-) I’ll keep you in my prayers for fortitude and courage.  Keep your eyes on him and you will do it just as Peter walked on water, that is until he took his eyes off the Lord.  Keep your eyes on him, prayer is a powerful thing.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:39 pm

      Thank you so much Dalia.  Yes, the Lord is with me!  He is my strength and I am leaning into Him!

  • Reply
    Elizabeth
    February 3, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    Sending you a hug and saying prayers right now for you.  I admire your honesty and transparency. Take it one day at a time, as in, “Today I can live without sugar”, instead of thinking of a life time of deprivation.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 3, 2012 at 10:38 pm

      Thank you Elizabeth!  I so appreciate your prayers.  Today has actually been a good day!

  • Reply
    Kim | At Home With Kim
    February 4, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    Hi Barbie!  I love posts when we can all let our hair down and just be real!  I love that you shared your heart…  accountability is so key in the success of weight loss.  I know bc I went through it.  I think each of us who have found success can only share what works for us….  and that’s the key.  Finding what works well.  For me it was Weight Watchers….  I too have a problem with sugar.  And I didn’t think I would have long term success in cutting it out completely.  WW worked well bc it allowed me to find things I could eat.  Regardless of the how, I KNOW you will do this!  Keep holding yourself accountable and checking in here….  It will help you think about what you eat.  It did for me.  Hugs….

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 6, 2012 at 10:59 pm

      Weight Watchers is a great program.  I had success with it several years ago.  However, it’s also a program where I would allow myself an entire day’s worth of points, splurging on high calorie food and things that weren’t good for me.  I would love to do that plan again some day, once I get my emotional eating under control.  Thank you for stopping by to encourage me!

  • Reply
    Diana
    February 4, 2012 at 10:06 pm

    How could you think we would not accept you… each of us has our own weaknesses, too.  You have a beautiful heart that can be seen through your words… a Christian witness that flows through your fingertips onto this blog. I accept you as you are, Barbie. ♥

    You go, girl! You can do it! I will be praying for you every step of the way. (I also have a weight problem, but mine is medication-induced, which is a whole other problem in itself.)

    P. S. Thank you for your prayers for things going on in my life. 🙂

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 6, 2012 at 10:58 pm

      Thank you for encouraging my heart today. . The enemy would make me think less of myself.  I am thankful for friends, like you, who consistently remind me of my worth!  Blessings!

  • Reply
    Holly
    February 6, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    Wow, good luck my prayers are with you. I will be watching your journey.   A lot of your words rung true for me.  I will pray on this and stumbling onto your post may give me a new way of looking at losing weight. 

    • Reply
      Barbie
      February 6, 2012 at 10:57 pm

      Thank you for stopping by Holly!  I hope you will visit again soon!

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