And no, I am not accepting the Lord for the first time. I’ve known Him for better than half of my life. But I feel as if I am on the verge of something new. I’ve been feeling a little low over the last few days. I could blame it on exhaustion following my daughter’s wedding, financial stress, or some recent health issues. But, I am realizing more and more that although I may not feel good, or what I may see in front of me is not always what I desire, I know this one thing….
GOD IS GOOD!
I feel as if I am on the verge of an awakening and I am excited about it. God has been calling me, wooing me in the night and helping me to see Him more clearly in the daylight. I am learning to see with new eyes.
To see beauty that is only revealed when I search it out.
- My messy laundry — and how I am thankful that we have clothing.
- My dirty dishes — and how it reminds me that we have food.
- My kids who fight more than I’d like them to — which reminds me that they are growing and developing their own personalities, each uniquely crafted by their Creator.
I am ready to embrace my life. Not that I haven’t before. But with half of my life behind me, I want to press in with enthusiasm as I allow Him to continue to awaken my heart to his beauty. One of the things that He has been speaking to my heart about is His steadfast love. I will be leaning in a little closer and posting here on the blog on Wednesdays about my journey to uncover the depth of this love. Perhaps you will join me?
Another thing that I am excited to dive into this year is journaling. It’s not new to me. I’ve always used this online space for that purpose, and have 3 or 4 journals laying around that I take with me now and then to capture what God speaks to me. But I want to be more intentional. I want to be more creative. So I have a little something up my sleeve (if you follow me on Facebook, you have been given a glimpse). I recently came across this amazing blogger. She creatively journals and shares her journey on Instagram. I was instantly drawn into the beauty that graced the pages of her journals.
(her southern charm – used with permission)
I knew this was something I had to do. I serve a creative God, who wants to awaken my heart to creativity. So, I ordered the pens she recommended, as well as a journal.
Mine is purple, because I am a royal daughter of the Most High King!
Every day when I meet with God I will have my journal and pens handy. I will strive to creatively express what He reveals to my heart. I know it won’t be perfect. I will probably miss a day or two….perhaps many…but my desire is to be awakened to the colour that He is putting in my heart. And no, that is not a typo. COLOUR!
colour (n.) — the property possessed by an object of producing different sensations on the eye as a result of the way the object reflects or emits light; vividness of visual appearance resulting from the presence of brightly colored things.
colour (v.) — change the color of (something) by painting or dyeing it with crayons, paints, or dyes; make vivid or picturesque.
Beginning tomorrow, on the day of my new birth, this new adventure with God will begin. My daughter asked me why I ordered so many pens. Some are for writing, some for coloring. I want to use a lot of color. And I want to learn to doodle my thoughts and the imprints of my heart. I am an abstract painter, but this will be a stretch for me. I hope to post on Instagram each day using the hashtag #colouringmyheart — because as I lean in and I wait on Him, He colours my heart with the light of His Word, in vivid color. You can follow me on Instagram at “barbieswihart” or on Pinterest at “barbies”.
Despite circumstances that could keep me cowering in a corner and desiring a life that is not mine, I choose to receive all that God has for me with open arms. My life is a gift. What I choose to make of it is up to me.
I choose to love, because He loved me first.
I choose JOY because He provides joy unspeakable and full of glory.
I choose to forgive, because He has done this for me.
I choose to accept myself as the fearfully and wonderfully made child of God that I am.
I choose to laugh with my children, instead of hushing them up.
I choose to cherish my husband, because he is worthy.
I choose to give out of my abundance, even in my lack.
I choose to see beauty, despite pain.
I thank God that He loves me. Not “if”, not “but”. He simply does.
I thank God for my husband and children. I have been blessed beyond measure.
I thank God for my friends. Gifts and treasures I do not deserve.
I thank God for YOU, my blogging friends. How my life has been enriched by each and every one.
I am grateful. So grateful. I am His today. And He is mine. I am moving forward, embracing this new birth with eyes and heart wide open to see the colour He paints on my heart.
Happy birthday to me!