14 In Faith

Where He Leads, I Will Follow (Part 1)

Mossy fence

I have been on a journey of seeking Him.  A journey of allowing Him to colour my heart with the truth of His Word.  And although I had a very clear destination in mind, the Lord has been redirecting my path. Today, I want to share a deep and personal revelation that the Lord brought to me about a week ago.

On my birthday, to be exact.

If you will remember, in my birthday post I talked about a new birth, a couple of new journeys, and how I set out to seek the light and truth of His Word through colour.  And if you will remember just a few days earlier, in this post, I talked about how I would be starting a new journey of going deeper into a study of the Steadfast love of the Lord, posting weekly on my blog the revelations that He brings to my heart.

I was not prepared for what would happen once I started allowing His Word to come alive in my heart in this way.

Needless to say, I will not be starting my study on His steadfast love just yet.  Oh I am not going to stop seeking it out, but I am simply laying down the schedule and the pressure of having something to tell you about it every week.  Through this new journey that I’ve been on, I believe God wants to tuck me away under the shelter of His wing and speak to those places in my heart that are raw, hurting and buried underneath layers of self-imposed unbelief.  I cannot commit to bring something to you that I don’t yet have the understanding of myself.  But what I can do is bring you revelation of those things He does reveal to my heart, in the hope that it would encourage you as well.  More on that later.

I want to share with you a vision that God gave me as I sat meditating on His Word in the prayer room last Wednesday, which was, incidentally, my birthday. I’ve read it over several times since I recorded it, and it causes me to be overcome with the reality that I have so far to go on this journey of understanding His love for me.  This was not an “open vision”, but something I saw very clearly in my mind.

Just prior to the vision, the worship leader was singing this phrase, which I wrote down in my journal, and made it a prayer of my heart:

“Give me eyes to see.  Come, awaken love.  I want to know You.” 
And my prayer that followed:  “Reveal Your love to my heart.  Lord, make me aware of your love in my life.  Cause my heart to come alive.  Your Word is truth and light.  Enlighten the eyes of my heart to the truth of Your Word.”

Immediately after I prayed this prayer, I had this vision.

(Following is part one.  I will post part two in a couple of days.)

What Do I Have to Fear?

In the vision, I was dressed in a long, white garment.  I was standing behind a fence, gazing at a lush and very beautiful field.  The flowers in the field were blooming.  I could smell the fragrance.  The trees were ripe with every fruit imaginable.

I could see the Shepherd coming toward me down the hill.  I heard Him calling me to come to Him.  But I could not move.  It was as if my feet were frozen.

The gate was closed, but it was not locked.  The Shepherd met me there, on the other side of the fence.  He beckoned me to come and join Him in the field.  I begged Him to open the gate for me.  But still he beckoned.  How my heart yearned for Him.  But I had not the strength to remove the latch and swing open the gate.

“Why do you not come?”, the Shepherd asked.  “What is it that your heart fears?”

In that moment, I realized that although the Shepherd called me and was waiting for me to come to Him, I felt unworthy to approach Him.  To remove the latch and open the gate would open up my heart to the depth of pain and unworthiness that still lay buried deep inside of me.

As the Shepherd turned, He promised me that He would never leave me, that He would always be there waiting for me.  He promised He would wait for me, until my heart was ready to receive Him fully.

My prayer:  “Help me, Lord, to see myself as You see me.  Help me to take the steps I need to the freedom You offer.”

*     *     *

Part Two will be posted in the next few days.

14 Comments

  • Reply
    bethinnc
    July 11, 2012 at 2:32 am

    That is beautiful Barbie. I was cheering you on as I was reading — climb over the fence, climb over it! (That is the country girl in me. A locked pasture gate means nothing here. We just climb over them.) Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart. I pray the Lord allows you to see yourself running towards Him with no fear. Love you.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      July 12, 2012 at 7:07 pm

      Thank you Beth. That is my prayer as well!

  • Reply
    Nikki
    July 11, 2012 at 7:46 am

    Oh friend……..
    that’s all I can muster today.
    except oh how I love you.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      July 12, 2012 at 7:06 pm

      I love and appreciate you too my friend!

  • Reply
    Child of God
    July 11, 2012 at 8:40 am

    Hi Barbie,
    What a beautiful vision! Praying you take a running leap over that fence and embrace the love of your life.
    Thanks for sharing, I have been blessed.
    <

    • Reply
      Barbie
      July 12, 2012 at 7:06 pm

      Oh, if I only had the strength to run and jump! Thank you for your love and encouragement.

  • Reply
    Debbie Petras
    July 11, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    What a beautiful vision He gave to you Barbie! You are worthy because of Jesus.

    Blessings and love,
    Debbie

    • Reply
      Barbie
      July 12, 2012 at 7:04 pm

      Thank you my friend.

  • Reply
    TereasaM
    July 12, 2012 at 10:43 am

    I’m excited for part 2! I don’t post series. I have never been able to keep the commitment. Honestly, I don’t see how other people do it. I always think, “hey! I’d like to say more about this.” By the time I finally get the chance, my mind is on to something else. Perhaps that’s the ADD in me. I look forward to seeing what the Spirit reveals as you are tucked under his wing!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      July 12, 2012 at 7:04 pm

      Thank you my friend. I’m working on the post, but it will probably be Saturday morning. I remember when I did my “31 Days of Abiding” posts and how exhausted I was afterwards!

  • Reply
    Lindy Kaden
    July 12, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    Anxious to read part 2. Amazing prayer.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      July 13, 2012 at 4:37 pm

      Part 2 is up today Lindy!

  • Reply
    Lolita Valle
    August 2, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Barbie,

    I have so much to come back for, I knew it in my heart when I came yesterday.

    What a beautiful vision. Jesus never make light of our prayer. And as we open up, things unimaginable is revealed. I feel like this and I know too there is still a room in my heart left unopened to him. In time, I know it will all be bared out.

    It is always us holding back to His call, I am going on for the part 2. Thank you.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 2, 2012 at 11:52 pm

      Hi Lolita! So thankful you’ve been blessed by my words. Do you have a blog? If so, I’d love the link so that I can visit you.

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