Embracing Chaos

God has been stirring my heart for some time about homeschooling my children. As a woman who has always worked full time, I am accustomed to not being in the home, and all too familiar with the chaos that comes when one only has a few hours each night to help with homework, showers, chores and quality time.  Up until this point in my life, I have not even considered staying home with my children.  Not because I didn’t think this was the best choice for my children, but because I never thought I could do it.

Over the last two years, I was thrusted into the homeschooling arena.  My 18yo son has been homeschooling with a tutor over the last two years.  He will be finished with high school in October.  Prior to removing him from school, he was flunking out and I didn’t know what I was going to do.  A homeschooling friend of mine took him under her wing to tutor him in math and science.  Now,  he is passing almost every class with a B average.

When my daughter completed the 6th grade, I knew I did not want her going to public middle school.  I am not afraid to put my children in public school.  They have always done well, and are serving the Lord and I know it’s because of the spiritual climate in our home.  But I was not at peace with sending her to middle school. There is so much pressure to conform at her age and I just felt like I wanted to take her under my wing and give her a bit more stability.

So, I am taking the leap and homeschooling her full time, while working full time. I’ve had doubts floating round in my head.  Lies that tell me that I am unworthy of this calling, lies that say: You’re not really a homeschooling mom.  How much time and effort can you expect to give her while working full time?  She is going to resent you for this choice.  She will fall behind.  These are the lies that I have had to battle while seeking the Lord for confirmation of my choice.

I will keep saying it, until I believe it — I AM A HOMESCHOOLING MOM!  Even though my daughter will only be with me part time, and even though our homeschooling plan may not look like any one else’s, I believe the Lord is making the best plan for both of us.  One positive thing I see from all of this is she will get to spend time with me in the house of prayer, cultivating her life in God while stretching her music and vocal abilities by doing devotionals in the prayer room.  I am so thankful!

I’ve spent the last two weeks ordering curriculum and supplies, creating a year-long calendar of assignments, borrowing literature books and building my own Bible curriculum. I feel like I truly am ready.



See my color-coded daily calendar for her assignments?  This is just for two classes.  I still have to add in science, math and Bible.  Yikes!  My life is about to get more chaotic and honestly, I am a little unsure of my abilities.  I don’t want my daughter to fall behind.  I don’t want our days to be filled with attitudes and arguments that we never get the school work done  I don’t want to be so exhausted that I cannot give my full attention to this.

But I know that God will make a way.  I believe He put this on my heart, because this is His plan for her.  He knows her more than I do.  So I will embrace this chaos and look for the beauty in every day.  I’s a new experience for me.  But I know that God will be with us every step of the way.

*Linking with Bonnie for the Faith Barista JAM, on the topic “God will make a way.”

I am also honored to join these communities:

WIPWednesdayLife In Bloom


Seeking beauty in the ordinary and embracing life to the fullest. Thank you for stopping by and come again soon!

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18 Responses

  1. Child of God says:

    Hi Barbie,
    I’m sure everything will work out just fine! Good for you in taking the leap.


  2. Photographing Mom says:

    Welcome to the homeschooling world, Barbie. 🙂

  3. veronica says:

    Wow! Good for you! I will be praying for you and your family as you enter this great adventure of homeschooling 🙂

  4. Lea says:

    Well, I am quite sure that you will be a great homeschooling Mom. I have such admiration for homeschooling Moms and the discipline they must have to do such. All the best for a wonderful school year!

  5. SimplySurrender says:

    You are so right…if He put it on your heart He will make a way! He knows what is ahead and He will provide!

  6. You can totally do this with God’s strength. Lean hard into Him and make sure you have support either online or in real life. It helps to be able to say, I’m struggling and get encouragement for the journey. Praying for you as you tackle all of this.

    • Barbie says:

      Alia, you are so right about finding supportive community. I follow a lot of homeschool bloggers, not for that, but they happened to be homeschoolers, so I am hoping to gleam from them. Thanks of your prayers!

  7. Barbie, you can do this! Just know that God is with you and I’m praying for you. 🙂

  8. Alison says:

    Praying that this year will be a year of growth for you all! (Excited for you!)

  9. Mary Beth says:

    I’m sure God will bless you in this endeavor to be faithful to His calling. He will supply what you need! Thanks for linking up with WIP!

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