Yearning To Be More
My heart is yearning to be with God apart from the noise that surrounds me. I am longing for stillness, for solitude. I am longing for His presence. I know that if I abide in Him, He will abide in me. So I strive to get to the place that feeds my soul, where the sun shines, the shade covers and the water runs freely.
But I hear Him say to me, “Cease from your striving, My Daughter, and just come.”
So I come, desiring to sit still in His presence and to drink Him in. But my mind races with thoughts of situations that are beyond my control. I long to fix my eyes on Him and remain full of faith. So I worship, allowing the song buried deep in my heart to find it’s voice as I surrender it all back into His hands. Tears stream down my face as I release fear, doubt and worry once again. My heart breaks as I am once again faced with my lack.
I’ve been here before. Why can’t I simply come, unashamed and full of the grace and mercy that is already mine?”
My heart cries, I don’t have anything to give to you, Lord. You are deserving of so much more than this. For I am weak. I am heavy laden. I am weary. I am full of doubt and worry. My failure is staring me in the face. Surely these are not the offerings that I desired to bring to You today.
My heart is racing. Why do I fear? It is not You that I fear, but the possibility of not hitting the mark, or attaining to the fullness of all that You’ve called me to be. All of these things I’ve carried here, You are already fully aware of. Why must I fear that You cannot, or will not, move me past this place?
I know that You are able. I know that You are willing.
“My daughter, just come. All I want is you.”
But what if the me that You desire is not enough, Lord? I long to be more for You than this shell I bring, empty and longing to be filled.
I long to be the confident, beautiful and graceful daughter that You created me to be.
I long to live life with purpose, to have meaning and to bring You glory in all that I do.
I long to live each day to the fullest, to laugh hard and love well.
I long to give hope, to remove fear and to bring freedom.
I long to be Yours, wholeheartedly and completely.
Who am I to You, Lord? How do You see me? What is it that You would have me to do?
My heart is yearning to be more in Your presence, Lord. Come and fill the ache that is in my heart!
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?