My Great Reward

(photo credit)

Friends, I am undone.  I’ve had a rough 24 hours with some unresolved issues, but things are getting better.  Tonight, late, I turned on the Prayer Room at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. (By the way, the worship stream is live 24/7, and it’s FREE to listen and watch.)  My oldest son is there participating in the Fire In The Night Internship.  Every night before I go to bed I turn on the stream, hoping to get a glimpse of him.  He is in the prayer room from midnight to 6AM, Kansas City time.

The heart of God that is coming forth in the spontaneous song in the night watch hours is unraveling everything that I’ve been holding onto.  It’s caused me to come once again to lay it all down, before His Throne of Grace and admit that I am nothing without Him, that I cannot do this on my own, and that I am in great need of Him.  I cannot make the pieces of my life fit together.  Only Jesus.

One spontaneous song came forth that just ripped my heart wide open to call on my Heavenly Father to once again invade that place that I continually try to hold on to.  There is something about the unwritten, spontaneous song that draws me to my knees.  I realize you can’t hear the melody, but just read the words and allow them to minister to you:

I keep seeking,
I keep kocking.
I keep asking.
I won’t stop until I find You.

For this treasure.
And this calling.
There’s nothing better.
Nothing else can satisfy.

This is my heart’s confession.
The only way to true contentment.
When I find all of my fountains are in You.
And everything else is just added unto me.
Because all that I am seeking is the Kingdom and Your righteousness.
It’s that one necessary thing.  To find the knowledge of God.

You are my everything.
You are my great reward.
I bring every other longing into this
pursuit to find the knowledge of God.

You are my everything.
And You are my Great Reward.
When all else is fading away
Only You remain.

All I want, all I want is You.
It’s You I’m clinging to.
All I need, all I need is You.
In every painful circumstance.
All I want, all I want is You.
You’re the answer,
You’re the only One.

All my fountains are in You.
All my longings answer to You.
All my fountains are in You.
You satisfy me.

I won’t try to numb the pain.
Won’t try to fill the pain with something lesser than.
I’ll just keep seeking until I find You.
You have promised you would fill the hungry heart.

I won’t give up, Oh I will wait.
And I’ll believe, I’ll live this life of faith.
The God of hope fills with joy and peace
those who believe.

Father, help me to pursue You in the hour of my greatest need, for only You can satisfy.  Only You can fill the voids deep inside.  Lord I need You.  Lord, I desire You, above all others.  Wil you come once again and fill my aching heart with You?  Will You give to me the knowledge of God that is found in Christ Jesus and in Him alone?  May every longing of my heart be brought into the pursuit of knowing You!  I won’t give up.  I’ll keep asking, I’ll keep knocking, I’ll keep seeking. Give me the faith to believe. Fill me with Your joy and peace, for You are My Great Reward!”


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Seeking beauty in the ordinary and embracing life to the fullest. Thank you for stopping by and come again soon!

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22 Responses

  1. Mia says:

    Dear Barbie
    What makes my heart always rejoice is when we seek Him with our whole heart, we will find Him. Another promise that I always cling to is that we draw near to Him, He draws near to us.
    Much love and a blessed Sunday to you.
    Mia recently posted..The Genesis of Morality

  2. Jedidja says:

    I love this spontaneous song! Beautiful!
    Jedidja recently posted..Help … ik wil een warme mama zijn!

  3. Thank you for the prompting to listen to the live stream. I often forget about it.

    I’m grateful you heard that song. Yes, I love spontaneous, prophetic worship too. I wish I could have heard that one with you. I am going to read over the lyrics again.

    Love you friend. You aren’t alone.
    Beth @ My Destiny recently posted..Cherished

  4. Janis Cox says:

    Oh praying that you will be uplifted – as you seek Him… breathe in the Spirit. I also write at Under the Cover of Prayer and would love you to stop by some day.
    Blessings for this day – as He has made it. LIVE it.
    Janis Cox recently posted..SUNDAY STILLNESS

  5. I love when god speaks to us in song. What a beautiful song. I had not heard of that stream you can listen to so thank you:) Prayers for you my friend and ((hugs))!!
    Jennifer peterson recently

    • Barbie says:

      Jennifer, you will love it. It’s 24/7 and the do both intercession and worship. I could listen to it all day. I am blessed to belong to a house of prayer and sing on worship teams that do the same style of worship/intercession. Have a great week!

  6. Awesome photo & beautiful song! Thanks for hosting & God bless!
    Laurie Collett recently posted..Resurrection: Triplets of Victory

  7. i am listening to the live streaming as i type. i feel like i was led to this post for a reason today. i too am struggling. but this whole idea of 24/7 worship to our Savior brings me hope. and joy. and peace.

    thank you.
    colleen @ thegiftofmondays recently posted..the Catholic freak…the Jesus freak

    • Barbie says:

      Colleen, I am grateful that God led you to the 24/7 worship stream. I am praying that you were blessed as you listened. Thank you for stopping by my blog!

  8. Sorry you were feeling undone, Barbie, but that always leads us to a time of greater intimacy, doesn’t it? I started a group for Christian bloggers to talk about blogging on Facebook and I would love to have you join. We can talk about all the joys and frustrations of blogging and not just post from our blogs. Look for the Christian Bloggers Conversation group on FB if you’re interested. Blessings on your Sunday!
    Melanie Wilson @theinspiredday recently posted..Ask the Right Question to Succeed

  9. Child of God says:

    Hi hon,
    I don’t know what it is that tears you apart, what hurt you have been through that just rips open every now and then but Father knows. So I just come to Him and ask for Him to continue ministering to you in that spot that only He can heal. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this, these trials hurt. He didn’t leave you alone to walk through this as you know He is right there with you and sending others in to cover you in prayer and His Spirit, oh that awesome Spirit of His, is flowing through you and healing you.

    I love this prayer ministry from IHOP and I have tapped into their free streaming ministry when I have been in need too.

    Prayers and hugs,
    Child of God recently posted..Did He Really Say That?

  10. Mary says:

    Oh, Barbie…I am praying for.
    Mary recently posted..From no words…to being changed

  11. Joan says:

    Sometimes, when I am facing a challenging time, the only words I can say are, “I need you, God, I need you!” And, He is always faithful to see me through. Praying for you this morning, Barbie!
    Joan recently posted..Sharing His Beauty Link Up!

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