66 In My 5 Minute Fridays

Five Minute Friday: Lonely

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and others for the 5 Minute Friday where we are given a word prompt and write for just 5 minutes simply for the joy of writing. No editing or backtracking necessary. No need to be perfect. Just words freely flowing from my heart to yours.

Lonely

I often ask myself how and why I can feel so alone in a crowded room.  Matter of fact, tonight I popped into the #fmfparty on Twitter to visit with my friends.  Laughter, talk of chocolate, coffee and raw eating.  But the conversation was moving way too fast for me.  I felt lonely, so I left.  I was immediately convicted by the Lord of my insecurity and rejoined the party and had a great time.

There is an ache deep in my heart to belong.  And although I have a husband who loves me (and is often sitting right next to me on the couch), we often aren’t connecting. My children, two grown and two adolescent, they are off doing their own thing, as I sit at the table reading email and responding to blog comments.  I am alone, in a crowded room.

I have an intense desire to be a part of.  I want to connect with those I love, to listen to their heart beat as they share about their day.  I want to understand the words, left unspoken, the pain in their eyes.

Lonely for me comes from a place deep in the crevice of my own heart.  It’s in that place where the lies tell me,

“you’re not good enough”
“you don’t belong”
“you will never measure up”
“you don’t fit in”.

At times, these lies surface and I run to the nearest dark and lonely corner, because that’s where I believe I belong.

But He comes to this lonely one and sets her in a family.  He frees my heart from the prison of solitude and causes my heart to sing “I belong”! .  He brought me out of the wilderness, from wandering to and fro, lost, scared, alone.  No longer forsaken.  Always at home in His heart.

God sets the lonely in families. He leads out the prisoners with singing.
(Psalm 68:6)

I am so thankful that when I feel lonely, He reminds me that I am never really alone.

Five Minute Friday

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66 Comments

  • Reply
    Anita Ojeda
    August 8, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    Ah, beautiful! I, too, feel lonely in crowds. I’m not sure if it’s the curse of the introverts to feel as if they never fit, and the great deceiver prods and pokes us with assurances that we really DON’T fit in. Funny how those feelings don’t stop when we get married and ‘grow up’. But how wonderful that we can slap those feelings away with promises such as the one you’ve shared :).
    Anita Ojeda recently posted..Five-Minute Friday: Lonely

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:09 am

      Thanks for stopping by Anita. Have a beautiful weekend.

  • Reply
    AJ Collins
    August 8, 2013 at 11:31 pm

    A good reminder is how many of us feel this exact same way! I would imagine that reading through these posts will reveal that many of us feel alone in a crowded room, perhaps it’s the lies of Satan distracting and side-lining us, perhaps it’s others making us feel this way, or a person issue of self-esteem… its fascinating, really!!
    AJ Collins recently posted..Alone in a crowded room

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:10 am

      Truth. Have a beautiful weekend AJ!

  • Reply
    Ceil
    August 9, 2013 at 12:55 am

    Hi Barbie! What a very honest post, I am sure it wasn’t easy to write. I don’t think I always feel connected to my husband either, it kind of goes in ebbs and flows. But you are right to say that you are never alone with the Lord.

    You are never alone in blog-land either! You have such a lovely place here, and a very successful bloghop and many readers. You are plenty good enough, you measure up, and you fit in.

    And don’t you ever forget it!
    Ceil
    Ceil recently posted..Lonely

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:12 am

      Thank you so much Ceil. I truly appreciate you!

  • Reply
    Jennifer @purplebuoy
    August 9, 2013 at 4:13 am

    It is still weird to me how we can feel alone when we are with family. Good thoughts here. Glad I stopped by. Be blessed:)

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:13 am

      Thank you Jennifer. It’s important for my family to get out together, do things together. We we are at home, each doing our own thing, but I am craving attention, that is when I feel alone. Have a blessed weekend.

  • Reply
    Debbie
    August 9, 2013 at 5:56 am

    Barbie, you belong to Him and He is enough. But I do understand what you’re saying. We can be with people and yet still feel lonely at times. I hear you and love you.

    Blessings and love,
    Debbie
    Debbie recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Lonely

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:13 am

      Love you too Debbie! Blessings!

  • Reply
    Kim@Stuffcould...
    August 9, 2013 at 6:03 am

    I feel lonely the same way you do….even though hubs is in the same room, etc….thanks for the reminder that He is there for me always
    Kim@Stuffcould… recently posted..I Sure Miss My Dad

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:13 am

      I appreciate your visit Kim. Have a beautiful weekend.

  • Reply
    Jennifer
    August 9, 2013 at 6:23 am

    This is really beautiful. Loneliness tends to creep in all too often for me as well. Insecurity can definitely be a gateway. But you are never truly alone, friend. Praying today that God grants the desires of your heart and brings to light all that was dark. Have a beautiful weekend, sweet lady!
    Jennifer recently posted..Two Gifts That Help Rid Loneliness…

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:14 am

      Thank you Jennifer! Praying you have a beautiful weekend.

  • Reply
    Amy ~ Coffee With The Mrs.
    August 9, 2013 at 6:32 am

    This. He frees my heart from the prison of solitude and causes my heart to sing “I belong”!

    Friend you DO belong. In fact, when you entered the #fmfparty for the first time, I was a little intimidated. {truth} You are gifted and your presence is a gift…encouraging and uplifting. Thanks for coming back to the fun! I’m so happy you did.
    Amy ~ Coffee With The Mrs. recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Lonely

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:15 am

      Amy, I am completed humbled by your comment. Do you know I’ve followed your blog for a long time. You were one of the first bloggers I found in this journey. Thank you for your grace, love and support. Love seeing you at the #fmfparty!

  • Reply
    Adoption Mama
    August 9, 2013 at 6:38 am

    Loneliness…aaah. Yes, I find myself lots lately and must remind myself whose I am. Thanks for helping.
    Adoption Mama recently posted..Decisions and Wisdom

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:17 am

      Praying for you my friend!

  • Reply
    Cheri
    August 9, 2013 at 7:20 am

    I am not exaggerating when I say that there are tears in my eyes. I know it sounds melodramatic and sappy- sorry 🙂 I too, have heard all those lies, still hear them constantly. “But he comes to this lonely one and sets her in a family” – no words for how that touches my soul – I just wrote it in my journal. Beautiful words, Barbie… have a blessed day!
    Cheri recently posted..Lonely {Five Minute Friday}

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:18 am

      So thankful the Lord met you in these words. May He continue to enlighten the eyes of your heart as to how much you truly matter, to Him, and to others.

  • Reply
    Sharon O
    August 9, 2013 at 7:49 am

    Wonderful writing and the picture is just precious… so perfect.
    Sharon O recently posted..A teachable moment

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:20 am

      Thanks for stopping by Sharon!

  • Reply
    Nicol
    August 9, 2013 at 8:31 am

    Hi Barbie,
    We met at Allume-then Relevant-in 2011. ?
    I appreciate your honesty in writing this post.
    I think that we can all relate in some way.
    God bless.
    Nicol recently posted..Lonely

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 9, 2013 at 12:58 pm

      Hi Nicol. Sadly, I’ve never been to a blogging conference. It’s a dream of mine one day.

  • Reply
    Cheri Galloway
    August 9, 2013 at 9:24 am

    Yes, I too know that feeling of being an outsider always looking in. That feeling of being alone when you are surrounded by others. But it’s been a gift. Yes maybe a gift wrapped in some pain and tears but still a gift. Because I’ve learned to watch and listen for the One that said He would never leave or forsake me. Oh what I would have missed if it had not been for being that lonely outsider. Thanks for your transparency and honesty.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:22 am

      Cheri, thank you for stopping by so that I could hop over to your place and meet you. You write so beautifully, so transparent. Blessings!

  • Reply
    Lisa @ FSL
    August 9, 2013 at 9:46 am

    Oh man have I been there too! And, yes my friend you do belong!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:23 am

      Thank you my friend. Have a lovely weekend.

  • Reply
    Mindy
    August 9, 2013 at 10:02 am

    It’s funny how I have so many “friends” yet I too am lonely. Is it just me, or are people way too busy to foster a friendship these days? I don’t know how people without Christ make it in this world. When I feel lonely (too often these days) I fall on Him who sustains me and that ache just seems to disappear. Thanks for posting this.
    Mindy recently posted..Lonely 5 Minute Friday

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:25 am

      Mindy, yes sometimes I think we get too busy to truly invest in relationships. But I find sometimes I can be sitting across from a friend and still feel alone. My heart so desperately wanting to connect, but having to fight barriers to get there. So thankful that God calls me “friend” and is always wiling to connect! Blessings!

  • Reply
    Susan
    August 9, 2013 at 10:05 am

    As I read this I felt like you were speaking my words. Sometimes I feel so guilty because I feel lonely and I’m God’s child, and how can I feel lonely when I belong to Him? But I do. And I think somehow that’s my fault. So thank you for the words; it is a comfort to know I am not the only one. And I take comfort and joy, too, in God’s love and promises. Beautiful, honest words.
    Susan recently posted..Lonely

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:28 am

      Susan, thank you for stopping by! God understands our hearts. Loneliness is a human feeling that we have to contend with. So thankful that God is always near! Blessings!

  • Reply
    ~Karrilee~
    August 9, 2013 at 11:01 am

    Oh sweet Barbie… I was not around much last night – but I am so glad that you came back and pressed through and didn’t believe the lie!
    ~Karrilee~ recently posted..Five Minute Friday – LONELY

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:29 am

      Missed you. Love the new look in your neck of the woods. Beautiful!

  • Reply
    Alia Joy
    August 9, 2013 at 11:37 am

    Oh, I’m so sorry you felt that way. I know exactly how that feels, but I’m glad you came back and were blessed. It’s often the loneliest feeling when you are surrounded and should feel connected but you feel just a step outside, on the periphery of things. I am so glad you know and remember that you are never truly alone. Hugs to you, friend. YOU belong.
    Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Lonely

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:29 am

      Thank you Alia! You are a blessing in my life.

  • Reply
    Linda
    August 9, 2013 at 11:42 am

    Crowded rooms are the loneliest places I know.
    As I get older, more than anything I want those eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart conversations, but they are uncomfortable when we are out of practice.
    You’ve given me some things to think on. thank you!
    Linda recently posted..Five Minute Friday {lonely}

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:31 am

      Thanks for stopping by Linda!

  • Reply
    Vanessa
    August 9, 2013 at 11:50 am

    Oh, Barbie. I have been there. I have sat at the computer, watching our #FMFParty lovelies talk and chat and laugh… and I have felt left out. I have felt isolated and alone – in fact pretty sure this was only 3 weeks ago that I had that kind of Thursday night. It happens – sometimes I can’t keep up. Sometimes the conversation just isn’t mine. But we come back every week, because we do belong, friend, we do! I wish I could reach out and give you a huge hug right now. You need to know that you are a blessing — to so so so many women! Love you, and love how you cheer me on. Hope you have a blessed weekend, and please, go connect with your hubby! 🙂 Sit a little closer, chat a little longer, just enjoy a moment with him 🙂 Love you!
    Vanessa recently posted..Lonely – Five Minute Friday

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:32 am

      You are a treasure. Thank you for your encouragement. I hope to get some connection time with hubby soon! Hugs!

  • Reply
    Tati
    August 9, 2013 at 4:48 pm

    Isn’t it a wonderful feeling to know that even when we seem alone, we’re far from it?

    PS- It was quite fast for me too at #fmfparty last night ( just my second night attending). I tried to hang in there. Yet in the end I just watched the words fly by then said goodnight.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:32 am

      Tati, I hope I will get a chance to chat more with you next week! Have a blessed weekend.

  • Reply
    Charis
    August 9, 2013 at 5:22 pm

    Very well articulated and I know I can relate. I think most, all if we are honest, can relate. I think sometime He allows us to feel it because He is jealous for us to look to belong with Him first. Such a painful part of life though.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:33 am

      Yes, I do believe He keeps those gaps in our hearts so that we will seek Him first. He is jealous for us, isn’t He? Have a beautiful weekend Charis!

  • Reply
    Amy P Boyd
    August 9, 2013 at 5:38 pm

    Such beautiful honest words here, Barbie. So many times I too have felt lost and lonely in the midst of a crowd. I am so thankful you walked past those lies and rejoined the #FMFParty last night but I hate I wasn’t there to greet you.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:36 am

      Hopefully we’ll connect soon at the #FMFparty! Have a blessed weekend.

  • Reply
    Mel
    August 9, 2013 at 5:53 pm

    Oh, (((GIANT hugs))) to you, friend. How about this…’cause I feel pretty overwhelmed at #fmfparty, too, sometimes. 😉 Look for me next week and I’ll look for you? And we’ll jump in together with both feet. 🙂 Blessings, dear friend…beautiful post. I love it.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:36 am

      Oh I love you Mel! Truly. I hope to get to hug your neck one day.

  • Reply
    Beth
    August 9, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    Oh Barbie! I’ve missed your words. I almost joined the #fmfparty last night but those all too familiar doubts kept me away. I’m also still full of emotions from my trip and struggling with what happens next. Your words have blessed me, as always. Love you!
    Beth recently posted..How Might God Define ‘Healthy’?

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:37 am

      I read your recap post this morning and saw the beautiful photos. I am praying for you, asking God to continue to grow these seeds He’s planted in your heart. Love you!

  • Reply
    kaseyparr99
    August 9, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    You write so beautifully, Such heartfelt honest words, thanks for sharing and encouraging the rest of us. Blessings, Kasey

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:38 am

      Thank you Kasey! I tried to click on your name to go to your blog, but keep getting an error. I appreciate the encouragement.

  • Reply
    Caroline
    August 9, 2013 at 7:39 pm

    Wow. Lovely. Thank you for sharing with such transparency the inner thoughts of your heart. Oh how much He loves us and loves to remind us that though we feel lonely, we are never alone. Thanks again! Love, love.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:40 am

      Thanks for stopping by Caroline!

  • Reply
    Lindsey
    August 9, 2013 at 7:39 pm

    Oh, Barbie! I so feel you, honey. I was lost last night and couldn’t keep up and kept wondering if anyone would notice if I wasn’t there…isn’t it crazy how we invent such insecurity? or rather how we let the enemy get one toe in the door and he talks us into opening it wide for all those lies? We’ll tweet it up together next week, friend. Even if it’s just the two of us keeping up with each other 🙂

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:41 am

      Thank you Lindsey! You write beautifully! I appreciate your visit and yes, I will look for you next week!

  • Reply
    Elizabeth
    August 9, 2013 at 9:16 pm

    I so relate to what you wrote, friend. I remember back in the day, James Dobson said that studies showed that loneliness is the number one thing women struggle with. I think that’s true. I think the line in “Anne of Green Gables” where Anne says she longs for a bosom friend, how she’s longed to meet her all her life rings true for many, many women. I also think God uses our loneliness to drive us to His heart…no one can really fill our emptiness but Him.
    Elizabeth recently posted..Romans 15:13…

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 10, 2013 at 9:42 am

      Truth. God is the only one who can fill the aching in my heat. Have a lovely weekend my friend!

  • Reply
    Rebekah
    August 10, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    Barbie. Your honest words, just thank you. It is one reason why I skip out on Thursday nights. The other is that I am too tired. Perhaps they go hand in hand?! But I appreciate the community and try to still the lies. But, you know how it goes exactly, don’t you?
    Thank you for your courage to speak out against the lies that obviously many of us are struggle with.
    Truly, never alone.
    Rebekah
    Rebekah recently posted..Words of Wisdom for the Weekend : Brimful of God’s Goodness

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 11, 2013 at 9:33 pm

      Let’s keep pressing through together, my friend. Let’s push past those lies and allow ourselves to enter fully into community. Have a blessed week.

  • Reply
    Hazel Moon
    August 10, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    I am reminded of the song, “I am weak but He is strong.” When we understand that in ourselves we are small, weak, but in Him we can do exploits. It might not look like an exploit to us, but in the eyes of Jesus He is pleased. We never know how far our small endeavor actually goes. Just a word spoken or written is powerful and can go a LONGGGG way.
    Hazel Moon recently posted..Something Nice

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 11, 2013 at 9:32 pm

      AMEN! His strength is perfect in my weakness. Have a blessed week Hazel!

  • Reply
    Caroline
    August 11, 2013 at 11:29 am

    Like others have already commented, I can relate, Barbie. At times for me, this insecurity really caused self-imposed loneliness… it was only perceived rather than real! (That’s not always the case, of course.) I’m thankful for what you said here: “No longer forsaken. Always at home in His heart.”
    Caroline recently posted..The Sometimes Good from Lonely {Five Minute Friday}

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 11, 2013 at 9:32 pm

      Thanks for stopping by Caroline. Praying you have a blessed week!

  • Reply
    Melanie Wilson @theinspiredday
    August 14, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    Really, really beautiful Barbie. I won’t ask if you’re OK. 🙂 You were just putting into words what nearly everyone feels at times and you did it very well. You’re making me want to get off the computer and go see what the kids are up to. 🙂 Have a blessed week, friend.
    Melanie Wilson @theinspiredday recently posted..Is Your God Poor and Mean?

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 14, 2013 at 8:35 pm

      Thanks Melanie! Always blessed when you stop by.

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