Five Minute Friday: Lonely

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and others for the 5 Minute Friday where we are given a word prompt and write for just 5 minutes simply for the joy of writing. No editing or backtracking necessary. No need to be perfect. Just words freely flowing from my heart to yours.


I often ask myself how and why I can feel so alone in a crowded room.  Matter of fact, tonight I popped into the #fmfparty on Twitter to visit with my friends.  Laughter, talk of chocolate, coffee and raw eating.  But the conversation was moving way too fast for me.  I felt lonely, so I left.  I was immediately convicted by the Lord of my insecurity and rejoined the party and had a great time.

There is an ache deep in my heart to belong.  And although I have a husband who loves me (and is often sitting right next to me on the couch), we often aren’t connecting. My children, two grown and two adolescent, they are off doing their own thing, as I sit at the table reading email and responding to blog comments.  I am alone, in a crowded room.

I have an intense desire to be a part of.  I want to connect with those I love, to listen to their heart beat as they share about their day.  I want to understand the words, left unspoken, the pain in their eyes.

Lonely for me comes from a place deep in the crevice of my own heart.  It’s in that place where the lies tell me,

“you’re not good enough”
“you don’t belong”
“you will never measure up”
“you don’t fit in”.

At times, these lies surface and I run to the nearest dark and lonely corner, because that’s where I believe I belong.

But He comes to this lonely one and sets her in a family.  He frees my heart from the prison of solitude and causes my heart to sing “I belong”! .  He brought me out of the wilderness, from wandering to and fro, lost, scared, alone.  No longer forsaken.  Always at home in His heart.

God sets the lonely in families. He leads out the prisoners with singing.
(Psalm 68:6)

I am so thankful that when I feel lonely, He reminds me that I am never really alone.

Five Minute Friday


Seeking beauty in the ordinary and embracing life to the fullest. Thank you for stopping by and come again soon!

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66 Responses

  1. Anita Ojeda says:

    Ah, beautiful! I, too, feel lonely in crowds. I’m not sure if it’s the curse of the introverts to feel as if they never fit, and the great deceiver prods and pokes us with assurances that we really DON’T fit in. Funny how those feelings don’t stop when we get married and ‘grow up’. But how wonderful that we can slap those feelings away with promises such as the one you’ve shared :).
    Anita Ojeda recently posted..Five-Minute Friday: Lonely

  2. AJ Collins says:

    A good reminder is how many of us feel this exact same way! I would imagine that reading through these posts will reveal that many of us feel alone in a crowded room, perhaps it’s the lies of Satan distracting and side-lining us, perhaps it’s others making us feel this way, or a person issue of self-esteem… its fascinating, really!!
    AJ Collins recently posted..Alone in a crowded room

  3. Ceil says:

    Hi Barbie! What a very honest post, I am sure it wasn’t easy to write. I don’t think I always feel connected to my husband either, it kind of goes in ebbs and flows. But you are right to say that you are never alone with the Lord.

    You are never alone in blog-land either! You have such a lovely place here, and a very successful bloghop and many readers. You are plenty good enough, you measure up, and you fit in.

    And don’t you ever forget it!
    Ceil recently posted..Lonely

  4. It is still weird to me how we can feel alone when we are with family. Good thoughts here. Glad I stopped by. Be blessed:)

    • Barbie says:

      Thank you Jennifer. It’s important for my family to get out together, do things together. We we are at home, each doing our own thing, but I am craving attention, that is when I feel alone. Have a blessed weekend.

  5. Debbie says:

    Barbie, you belong to Him and He is enough. But I do understand what you’re saying. We can be with people and yet still feel lonely at times. I hear you and love you.

    Blessings and love,
    Debbie recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Lonely

  6. I feel lonely the same way you do….even though hubs is in the same room, etc….thanks for the reminder that He is there for me always
    Kim@Stuffcould… recently posted..I Sure Miss My Dad

  7. Jennifer says:

    This is really beautiful. Loneliness tends to creep in all too often for me as well. Insecurity can definitely be a gateway. But you are never truly alone, friend. Praying today that God grants the desires of your heart and brings to light all that was dark. Have a beautiful weekend, sweet lady!
    Jennifer recently posted..Two Gifts That Help Rid Loneliness…

  8. This. He frees my heart from the prison of solitude and causes my heart to sing “I belong”!

    Friend you DO belong. In fact, when you entered the #fmfparty for the first time, I was a little intimidated. {truth} You are gifted and your presence is a gift…encouraging and uplifting. Thanks for coming back to the fun! I’m so happy you did.
    Amy ~ Coffee With The Mrs. recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Lonely

    • Barbie says:

      Amy, I am completed humbled by your comment. Do you know I’ve followed your blog for a long time. You were one of the first bloggers I found in this journey. Thank you for your grace, love and support. Love seeing you at the #fmfparty!

  9. Loneliness…aaah. Yes, I find myself lots lately and must remind myself whose I am. Thanks for helping.
    Adoption Mama recently posted..Decisions and Wisdom

  10. Cheri says:

    I am not exaggerating when I say that there are tears in my eyes. I know it sounds melodramatic and sappy- sorry 🙂 I too, have heard all those lies, still hear them constantly. “But he comes to this lonely one and sets her in a family” – no words for how that touches my soul – I just wrote it in my journal. Beautiful words, Barbie… have a blessed day!
    Cheri recently posted..Lonely {Five Minute Friday}

    • Barbie says:

      So thankful the Lord met you in these words. May He continue to enlighten the eyes of your heart as to how much you truly matter, to Him, and to others.

  11. Sharon O says:

    Wonderful writing and the picture is just precious… so perfect.
    Sharon O recently posted..A teachable moment

  12. Nicol says:

    Hi Barbie,
    We met at Allume-then Relevant-in 2011. ?
    I appreciate your honesty in writing this post.
    I think that we can all relate in some way.
    God bless.
    Nicol recently posted..Lonely

  13. Yes, I too know that feeling of being an outsider always looking in. That feeling of being alone when you are surrounded by others. But it’s been a gift. Yes maybe a gift wrapped in some pain and tears but still a gift. Because I’ve learned to watch and listen for the One that said He would never leave or forsake me. Oh what I would have missed if it had not been for being that lonely outsider. Thanks for your transparency and honesty.

    • Barbie says:

      Cheri, thank you for stopping by so that I could hop over to your place and meet you. You write so beautifully, so transparent. Blessings!

  14. Lisa @ FSL says:

    Oh man have I been there too! And, yes my friend you do belong!

  15. Mindy says:

    It’s funny how I have so many “friends” yet I too am lonely. Is it just me, or are people way too busy to foster a friendship these days? I don’t know how people without Christ make it in this world. When I feel lonely (too often these days) I fall on Him who sustains me and that ache just seems to disappear. Thanks for posting this.
    Mindy recently posted..Lonely 5 Minute Friday

    • Barbie says:

      Mindy, yes sometimes I think we get too busy to truly invest in relationships. But I find sometimes I can be sitting across from a friend and still feel alone. My heart so desperately wanting to connect, but having to fight barriers to get there. So thankful that God calls me “friend” and is always wiling to connect! Blessings!

  16. Susan says:

    As I read this I felt like you were speaking my words. Sometimes I feel so guilty because I feel lonely and I’m God’s child, and how can I feel lonely when I belong to Him? But I do. And I think somehow that’s my fault. So thank you for the words; it is a comfort to know I am not the only one. And I take comfort and joy, too, in God’s love and promises. Beautiful, honest words.
    Susan recently posted..Lonely

    • Barbie says:

      Susan, thank you for stopping by! God understands our hearts. Loneliness is a human feeling that we have to contend with. So thankful that God is always near! Blessings!

  17. ~Karrilee~ says:

    Oh sweet Barbie… I was not around much last night – but I am so glad that you came back and pressed through and didn’t believe the lie!
    ~Karrilee~ recently posted..Five Minute Friday – LONELY

  18. Alia Joy says:

    Oh, I’m so sorry you felt that way. I know exactly how that feels, but I’m glad you came back and were blessed. It’s often the loneliest feeling when you are surrounded and should feel connected but you feel just a step outside, on the periphery of things. I am so glad you know and remember that you are never truly alone. Hugs to you, friend. YOU belong.
    Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Lonely

  19. Linda says:

    Crowded rooms are the loneliest places I know.
    As I get older, more than anything I want those eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart conversations, but they are uncomfortable when we are out of practice.
    You’ve given me some things to think on. thank you!
    Linda recently posted..Five Minute Friday {lonely}

  20. Vanessa says:

    Oh, Barbie. I have been there. I have sat at the computer, watching our #FMFParty lovelies talk and chat and laugh… and I have felt left out. I have felt isolated and alone – in fact pretty sure this was only 3 weeks ago that I had that kind of Thursday night. It happens – sometimes I can’t keep up. Sometimes the conversation just isn’t mine. But we come back every week, because we do belong, friend, we do! I wish I could reach out and give you a huge hug right now. You need to know that you are a blessing — to so so so many women! Love you, and love how you cheer me on. Hope you have a blessed weekend, and please, go connect with your hubby! 🙂 Sit a little closer, chat a little longer, just enjoy a moment with him 🙂 Love you!
    Vanessa recently posted..Lonely – Five Minute Friday

  21. Tati says:

    Isn’t it a wonderful feeling to know that even when we seem alone, we’re far from it?

    PS- It was quite fast for me too at #fmfparty last night ( just my second night attending). I tried to hang in there. Yet in the end I just watched the words fly by then said goodnight.

  22. Charis says:

    Very well articulated and I know I can relate. I think most, all if we are honest, can relate. I think sometime He allows us to feel it because He is jealous for us to look to belong with Him first. Such a painful part of life though.

    • Barbie says:

      Yes, I do believe He keeps those gaps in our hearts so that we will seek Him first. He is jealous for us, isn’t He? Have a beautiful weekend Charis!

  23. Amy P Boyd says:

    Such beautiful honest words here, Barbie. So many times I too have felt lost and lonely in the midst of a crowd. I am so thankful you walked past those lies and rejoined the #FMFParty last night but I hate I wasn’t there to greet you.

  24. Mel says:

    Oh, (((GIANT hugs))) to you, friend. How about this…’cause I feel pretty overwhelmed at #fmfparty, too, sometimes. 😉 Look for me next week and I’ll look for you? And we’ll jump in together with both feet. 🙂 Blessings, dear friend…beautiful post. I love it.

  25. Beth says:

    Oh Barbie! I’ve missed your words. I almost joined the #fmfparty last night but those all too familiar doubts kept me away. I’m also still full of emotions from my trip and struggling with what happens next. Your words have blessed me, as always. Love you!
    Beth recently posted..How Might God Define ‘Healthy’?

    • Barbie says:

      I read your recap post this morning and saw the beautiful photos. I am praying for you, asking God to continue to grow these seeds He’s planted in your heart. Love you!

  26. kaseyparr99 says:

    You write so beautifully, Such heartfelt honest words, thanks for sharing and encouraging the rest of us. Blessings, Kasey

    • Barbie says:

      Thank you Kasey! I tried to click on your name to go to your blog, but keep getting an error. I appreciate the encouragement.

  27. Caroline says:

    Wow. Lovely. Thank you for sharing with such transparency the inner thoughts of your heart. Oh how much He loves us and loves to remind us that though we feel lonely, we are never alone. Thanks again! Love, love.

  28. Lindsey says:

    Oh, Barbie! I so feel you, honey. I was lost last night and couldn’t keep up and kept wondering if anyone would notice if I wasn’t there…isn’t it crazy how we invent such insecurity? or rather how we let the enemy get one toe in the door and he talks us into opening it wide for all those lies? We’ll tweet it up together next week, friend. Even if it’s just the two of us keeping up with each other 🙂

  29. Elizabeth says:

    I so relate to what you wrote, friend. I remember back in the day, James Dobson said that studies showed that loneliness is the number one thing women struggle with. I think that’s true. I think the line in “Anne of Green Gables” where Anne says she longs for a bosom friend, how she’s longed to meet her all her life rings true for many, many women. I also think God uses our loneliness to drive us to His heart…no one can really fill our emptiness but Him.
    Elizabeth recently posted..Romans 15:13…

  30. Rebekah says:

    Barbie. Your honest words, just thank you. It is one reason why I skip out on Thursday nights. The other is that I am too tired. Perhaps they go hand in hand?! But I appreciate the community and try to still the lies. But, you know how it goes exactly, don’t you?
    Thank you for your courage to speak out against the lies that obviously many of us are struggle with.
    Truly, never alone.
    Rebekah recently posted..Words of Wisdom for the Weekend : Brimful of God’s Goodness

    • Barbie says:

      Let’s keep pressing through together, my friend. Let’s push past those lies and allow ourselves to enter fully into community. Have a blessed week.

  31. Hazel Moon says:

    I am reminded of the song, “I am weak but He is strong.” When we understand that in ourselves we are small, weak, but in Him we can do exploits. It might not look like an exploit to us, but in the eyes of Jesus He is pleased. We never know how far our small endeavor actually goes. Just a word spoken or written is powerful and can go a LONGGGG way.
    Hazel Moon recently posted..Something Nice

  32. Caroline says:

    Like others have already commented, I can relate, Barbie. At times for me, this insecurity really caused self-imposed loneliness… it was only perceived rather than real! (That’s not always the case, of course.) I’m thankful for what you said here: “No longer forsaken. Always at home in His heart.”
    Caroline recently posted..The Sometimes Good from Lonely {Five Minute Friday}

  33. Really, really beautiful Barbie. I won’t ask if you’re OK. 🙂 You were just putting into words what nearly everyone feels at times and you did it very well. You’re making me want to get off the computer and go see what the kids are up to. 🙂 Have a blessed week, friend.
    Melanie Wilson @theinspiredday recently posted..Is Your God Poor and Mean?

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