Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and others for the 5 Minute Friday where we are given a word prompt and write for just 5 minutes simply for the joy of writing. No editing or backtracking necessary. No need to be perfect. Just words freely flowing from my heart to yours.
I walk in silent shame. My head hung low, my memory replaying days long ago. I did not know this mercy then. But it knew me. He knew me. He, mercy in flesh, walked with me through pain, and sorrow, and shame. Mercy cried with me when I made decisions against His will, even before I knew, before I was aware mercy had been offered.
Still today I run and hide in corners, not wanting to look into His eyes, for fear of judgment. Afraid that He will walk away, never to set His gaze on me again. I shudder in silent shame. Yet His fiery eyes of love overwhelm me. His love penetrates the core places of my heart where little girl lost, alone and ashamed lives.
In that moment, His mercy turns to liquid love, and He pours it over me. And it oozes into every gaping wound in my heart. And it fills. It covers. It heals. It restores. Mercy flowing like a river through the core of my being, rushing to little girl lost, alone and ashamed. And it washes me new, again and again.
I don’t deserve this mercy. I don’t deserve this grace. Yet He freely gives. I reach up my arms towards heaven and lift my weary head and look into the eyes of mercy. And in those eyes there is no shame, no guilt, no condemnation. Nothing but love, acceptance, freedom and forgiveness.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)