46 In My 5 Minute Fridays

Five Minute Friday: She

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and others for the 5 Minute Friday where we are given a word prompt and write for just 5 minutes simply for the joy of writing. No editing or backtracking necessary. No need to be perfect. Just words freely flowing from my heart to yours.

She

FMF_she(photo credit)

She walks in the door, not making eye contact with anyone.  What if they don’t like her? What if their first impression of her turns them away?  She desires so much to be welcomed in, to be a part of the inner circle.  Yet she fears that she wears her heart on her sleeve, that the very depth of the hidden pain and depression would be worn for all of them to see.

So she isolates, not wanting to disappoint, not wanting to be a bother, not wanting to interrupt their laughter with her tears. She is broken, bruised, torn and everything within her wants to scream “do you see me?”  Yet she remains silent.  For the very fears that keep her from being her true self are speaking louder than before now,

unwanted

unloved

unaccepted

She clings to her chair, with head hung low and tears freely falling now.  She stares at the wall.  Feeling as if she will faint she rises and rushes to the door.  She longs to catch her breath.

Finally outside, just her and the coolness of the wind, she walks towards the light.  For it beckons her to come.  She is mesmerized by the lit path before her.  Perhaps there is someone on the other side who cares, who will welcome her in, who will love her for who she really is.

*If I can be honest, I wasn’t sure how this one would go.  I just started typing, without thinking and this is what came out of my heart.  This one was me before Christ, never feeling loved, accepted or approved of.  The light is Christ, who welcomed me in on the other side of the lit path.  

Five Minute Friday

46 Comments

  • Reply
    Shell
    September 19, 2013 at 9:42 pm

    Wonderfully real.
    Shell recently posted..She ~ 5 Minute Friday

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 10:32 pm

      Thank you Shell!

  • Reply
    Dolly@Soulstops
    September 19, 2013 at 9:43 pm

    Barbie,
    So glad you took that lit path into God’s loving arms…Beautiful in its honesty 🙂

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 10:36 pm

      Thanks Dolly!

  • Reply
    Debbie
    September 19, 2013 at 9:47 pm

    I am so glad life has changed for you since coming to know Jesus. You are loved, accepted and amazing. Love you Barbie!

    Debbie

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 10:37 pm

      Awe. thank you Debbie! I appreciate you!

  • Reply
    Lizzy
    September 19, 2013 at 10:11 pm

    beautiful!! just wished it went longer than five minutes. blessings xx
    Lizzy recently posted..She

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 10:39 pm

      Lizzy, I was so tempted to keep going!

  • Reply
    Tara
    September 19, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    You spoke to my heart with this post, thank you for being brave. Praise God. Have a blessed day. Tara.
    Tara recently posted..Five Minute Friday {She}

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 10:44 pm

      Thank you for stopping by Tara. So thankful you were blessed.

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    September 20, 2013 at 3:45 am

    That was beautiful. I understand those feelings completely. It’s a relief sometimes when we see others have the same words as our own. That we aren’t alone. Thank you for sharing that.
    Kimberly recently posted..5 Minute Friday – She

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 10:45 pm

      So thankful you stopped by Kimberly!

  • Reply
    Janet
    September 20, 2013 at 4:27 am

    So beautiful Barbie. So grateful for His Love that accepts us as we are. So very thankful for Jesus. While reading this, thought of the song by Casting Crowns “Does anybody hear her?”
    May God give us eyes to see the one who feels alone and unaccepted and give us His loving arms to wrap around them and anoint our lips to offer encouragement as well.

    Have a most beautiful day!!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 11:01 pm

      AMEN Janet! Thanks for stopping by!

  • Reply
    Becky Daye
    September 20, 2013 at 7:18 am

    Beautiful! Makes me want to just throw my arms around you and tell you how loved you are!!!
    Becky Daye recently posted..Five Minute Friday~ She

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 11:04 pm

      Awe, you’re too sweet Becky!

  • Reply
    Jessica
    September 20, 2013 at 7:49 am

    Barbie,

    this sounds like its straight out of a book. thank you so much for sharing with us. this is absolutely beautiful.

    Visiting from FMF.

    Have a beautiful weekend, friend!

    Jessica
    http://mybeautifulli.blogspot.com/2013/09/five-minute-friday-she.html
    Jessica recently posted..Five Minute Friday: She

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 11:09 pm

      Thank you so much for stopping by Jessica!

  • Reply
    ~Karrilee~
    September 20, 2013 at 8:20 am

    It seems I always say this, my friend – but it’s true! I always find such beauty and peace here… I love stopping by! One day – in real life – we will sit and talk for hours! One day… and I can not wait!
    ~Karrilee~ recently posted..SHE… Five Minute Friday

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 11:10 pm

      Looking forward to that day Karrilee!

  • Reply
    Anita Ojeda
    September 20, 2013 at 9:05 am

    And the really sad thing that I’m starting to realize is that so many who sit in the circle are just as broken. We all long to be accepted yet we are all so scared. It is only in Christ that I have any confidence at all!
    Anita Ojeda recently posted..Anita’s Five-Minute Friday: She

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 11:10 pm

      So true! We are broken, but God puts us back together again. We can rest in that truth!

  • Reply
    Dana Butler
    September 20, 2013 at 11:58 am

    Barbie,

    I love your honesty here and I SO love what Jesus has done in your life. What a beautiful story. So thankful for His work in your life, and for your precious heart.
    🙂 xo

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 11:22 pm

      Thank you Dana! You bless me!

  • Reply
    Laurie's Notions (@lauriervb)
    September 20, 2013 at 12:18 pm

    Beautifully written, Barbie! Isn’t it wonderful that in Jesus we are wanted, loved and accepted? So thankful for His love.
    Laurie’s Notions (@lauriervb) recently posted..Evah

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 11:24 pm

      So thankful that in Him I am safe and secure! Thanks for stopping by Laurie!

  • Reply
    Dawn St Amand Paoletta
    September 20, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    Wow…so many things went through my head as I read this one! I was like, yes- I relate, then wow this is fictional, then …just wow, it kind of just carried me along! I think you should write some fiction, Barbie- I dunno, I just sense there might be something there…beneath the surface for you, so to speak!
    Dawn St Amand Paoletta recently posted..Girl Talk (5 Minute Friday-She)

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 20, 2013 at 11:22 pm

      I had a fiction thought going through my brain when I wrote this. I wouldn’t even know how to do it! Do I just sit and write like FMF, except for days and days and days? 🙂

  • Reply
    Beth
    September 20, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    I think it’s when we type without thinking that our words are most beautiful. I’ve discovered when I try to put too much thought in to what I want to say the words simply don’t come…or they feel forced. Your heart here, beautiful as always. Love you.
    Beth recently posted..She belongs

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 21, 2013 at 11:25 pm

      I am finding some of the most beautiful writes of mine happen under pressure without a thought. Hugs!

  • Reply
    Holly Barrett
    September 20, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    That’s beautiful, Barbie! I’ve felt those same things myself and am so grateful for a Savior who says they aren’t so!
    Holly Barrett recently posted..She

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 22, 2013 at 8:02 pm

      AMEN Holly!

  • Reply
    Jennifer Peterson
    September 20, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    Oh Barbie I love you!! Your such a beautiful person, so blessed to call you a friend!!! So glad you walked down the path to the arms of the one that loves you most!!
    Jennifer Peterson recently posted..She

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 22, 2013 at 8:03 pm

      You bless me continually Jennifer!

  • Reply
    Dayle
    September 20, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    Barbie, I think this prompt has magnified just how alike we all are. Beautiful prose.
    Dayle recently posted..Who is She?

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 22, 2013 at 8:04 pm

      Thanks Dayle!

  • Reply
    Casey Springer
    September 21, 2013 at 5:52 am

    That’s what it all about….just write…I think you described most all of us! Hugs FMF friend

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 22, 2013 at 8:04 pm

      Thanks for stopping by Casey!

  • Reply
    Amy P Boyd
    September 21, 2013 at 4:17 pm

    Barbie This is so beautifully. I love your heart shared so openly.
    Amy P Boyd recently posted..Who is She ? Really !! {Five Minute Friday }

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 22, 2013 at 8:05 pm

      Thanks Amy!

  • Reply
    Cassandra @ Renaissance Women
    September 21, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    You say this was you. It was me, too.
    Beautiful.
    Visiting here via Five Minute Fridays and The Sunday Community.

    God Bless.

    Cassandra from Renaissance Women
    Cassandra @ Renaissance Women recently posted..Sunday Community: Autumn Rains

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 22, 2013 at 8:06 pm

      I think it’s so many of us! Thanks for stopping by Cassandra!

  • Reply
    Janel
    September 22, 2013 at 10:45 am

    how my heart resonated with this post Dolly. thank you for sharing it for FMF
    Janel recently posted..#FMF – She

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 22, 2013 at 8:06 pm

      Thanks for stopping by Janel!

  • Reply
    heather bell
    September 22, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    This is beautiful!! I love your honesty. So nice to write without knowing the ending and usually very surprising once you reach the ending!
    http://bellesbazaar-heather.blogspot.com/2013/09/she.html

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 24, 2013 at 12:06 am

      Thanks for stopping by Heather!

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