8 In Faith

Three Word Wednesday: Stoke the embers

Bright flame in the form of heart

I wander through the day, sometimes zoning off into the distance as I anticipate the burst of energy that will surely come.  I feel zapped of strength, almost numb to what is happening around me.  I’m doing too much, all good things, running around like Martha, all the while yearning to sit and be still like Mary.

This cycle of life has me living between wash, rinse and repeat.

“Wash me with the water of Your Word, Lord.”
“Remove the muck and mire that threatens to take root in my heart.”
“Give me the grace and strength for another day.”

Activity swirls around me: children and homework, work and ministry, writing and blogging, building community, pursuing passion, reaching for dreams.  All of these things reflect the light of Christ in my life.

Yet the light has become dim.  The fire that once burned bright in my heart is but an ember and I strive to find the flame again, the one that would draw others to Him.

I love Him.  I truly do.  And I strive to serve Him with passion and purpose.  I want to please Him in all that I do.  But in the doing, I’ve lost sight of the being.  I’ve been here before.  It’s a lonely place for a heart that longs to be filled with the warmth of His presence.

He beckons me come, but I don’t know how to drop everything and give myself fully to Him, as I know He desires.

How can a mamma put aside the needs of her children?
How can an employee/minister walk away from the demands of others?
How can a writer be laid down bare and surrender it all into His hands?

I’ve allowed busyness to steal my flame.

I want Him.  I need Him, desperately.  He is the only one who can satisfy the ache in my heart that screams, “do you see me?” “do you hear me?” “what about me?”  Oh that I would not live for the praises of man, but for Him alone.  For to be truly free, I must be willing to lay it all down at His feet, without ever glancing the other way.  My children, my job, my ministry, my dreams to write to bring Him glory, it all must be lifted up and offered to Him with an open hand.

I’ve been holding on too tight. So tightly my light has grown dim.  Is it possible to balance a flame so that it burns in more than one direction?  Martha meant well, but Mary chose the better part.  And this heart that runs with the passion and zeal of Martha, yearns to be like Mary, sitting at His feet, laying it all down, allowing Him to stoke the embers.

There needs to be a rearranging, a reigniting of that flame that once burned passionately and fiercely for Him.  That flame has become crowded by many things, all good things. I don’t want my light to go out.  I want the embers to ignite a fire so fierce that it draws others to Him.

Lord, come stoke the embers of my heart that I might burn again for you!

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8 Comments

  • Reply
    Janet
    September 5, 2013 at 4:08 am

    Oh Barbie. Wonderful post that really spoke to me this day. I have had to resign from a few ministries within our church because it all became too much. I laid them down. I got caught up in religion. Sad to say but true. I was looking at my performance instead of resting in the fact that Jesus has done it all for me. This life is not about my performance or what I can do for him. I was persecuted in my church for stepping aside but all the while knew it was a good thing for me to do. I kept a smile on my face knowing this was not mine to deal with but God’s.

    I realize that I am a simple creature and simplicity is what I love best. So I take my smile and a warm greeting to my job. I walk in my village and greet people that I see walking or jogging with a simple “hello.” I listen at my job to other’s stories and give a word of encouragement. That I think is the light that Jesus shines through me. A simple act and when I am complemented by my ways I simply say “that is Jesus in me.” Hallelujah!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 5, 2013 at 9:22 am

      Oh Janet how you’ve blessed my heart this morning. I am on staff at a church and yes, it is hard to step away from ministry. But when we lay it down, God is faithful to put us where He desires us to be in order to be a blessing to others!

  • Reply
    Beth
    September 5, 2013 at 5:11 am

    Barbie, if I were to choose an inspired blogger every month to highlight at my place, like you, I’d choose you every month! Thank you for so openly and tenderly sharing your heart. I love to come here because you always draw me closer to Him. But I also understand the desires of your heart and I will be praying for you. (I hope this all comes out that way I want it to.) These words—>”And this heart that runs with the passion and zeal of Martha, yearns to be like Mary, sitting at His feet, laying it all down, allowing Him to stoke the embers.” — my heart yearns to be like Mary too.
    I thank God for you! Much love. XOXO
    Beth recently posted..Three Word Wednesday: I Surrender All

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 5, 2013 at 9:23 am

      Awe friend, you bless me. Thank you of for the opportunity to pray and ask God for three words, and then to write openly and honestly about my journey. Love you!

  • Reply
    Helen Tisdale
    September 5, 2013 at 11:58 am

    BARBIE, BARBIE, BARBIE! My friend, my mentor: This is the best post you have EVER done! It’s your honesty, & willingness to open yourself up before the world to see & hear! What a gift! What amazes me, how you keep going no matter what, faithfully in everything you do! And you do it with excellence! I know the load you carry! I just encourage you to embrace this time of what may seem like pressure & other feelings, which the enemy would use to discourage you. But Barbie, you are “batting a hundred!” God is using you mightily & stretching you. You are so beautiful in the Lord!
    Helen Tisdale recently posted..DO YOU REMEMBER ME?

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 6, 2013 at 10:50 pm

      Awe Helen, you bless me. You are such a faithful encourager. I love how you champion me. It truly keeps me going. I hope you are doing well!

  • Reply
    Jacqui
    September 5, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    What a beautiful post, Barbie. I understand the busy, the Martha, and I understand the longing in those times to just sit at the feet of Jesus receiving refreshment. Praying you get that this week. Thank you for sharing your heart. It’s always encouraging! 🙂
    Jacqui recently posted..Comment on When Worship Leads to Deliverance by Jacqui

    • Reply
      Barbie
      September 6, 2013 at 10:51 pm

      Thank you Jacqui! Praying you find beauty everywhere you go this weekend!

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