30 In Faith

Waiting With Broken Wings

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

I’ve had this verse memorized since the day I met Him.  I was lost, alone, afraid, broken and abused.  I didn’t know or understand the depth of His love for me just yet, but I chose to believe the promises in this scripture.

waiting_broken_wings

Lately I feel a little like a butterfly with broken wings, rather than an eagle soaring high above the earth.  Unable to fly, I sit, perched among the fragrant flowers, only able to see the beauty that is right in front of me, yet longing to fly high above my circumstances to lay hold of the beauty that awaits me on the other side.

[Tweet “When your wings are broken, you must wait for them to be mended before you can fly again.”]

In this season of brokenness as I am faced with my lack and the desperation of my own heart, I’ve wanted to give up.  It’s hard pursuing dreams when all is being stripped away.  I hit the ground running fast and hard, but then hit a wall and crashed as burnout sat in.  And I’ve wondered, “What was it all for?”  My mind races with thoughts and feelings, yet no words are formed and I wonder, “Does any of this really matter?”  I reach, I yearn, I cry out, “Have you forsaken me?” as I tuck my dream back into the corner of my heart because the pain of not realizing it may be more than I can bare.  I sit alone, lost, confused, questioning, “Did I miss You God?”  Unable to move and faced with fear and depression I give in, “Take my brokenness Lord.  Use it for Your glory.”

The waiting, it can be hard.  So very hard.  There have been times of silence so deafening that I fear I will get impatient and move on without Him.  But the waiting is not so much about me as it is about Him. There have been things I have had to put on hold, words lost, dreams put on shelves.  But those things?  They were all for me — my things, my words, my dreams.  It’s not about me.

Am I willing to lay them all down for the sake of knowing Him?

I have to trust my life in the hands of the Master Gardener.  He allows my wings to remain broken as He draws me into His presence.  Unable to take flight, I remain nestled in the garden of His heart.  There He speaks tenderly to me, and reminds me that this brokenness that I bring to Him is beautiful.  This vessel once filled to overflowing is being stripped of everything she held onto.  And my broken wings, they are an offering of beauty. When I have nothing else to give but brokenness, it gives Him permission to begin the healing process.

I know that I can trust Him with my life, He promises to be gentle with my heart.  So I will wait for Him to come and strengthen me, to mend my broken wings, so that I can once again take flight and soar with wings as eagles.

Are you experiencing a season of brokenness?  What are you learning as the Lord leads you through it?

*photo credit

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30 Comments

  • Reply
    Debbie G.
    June 9, 2014 at 5:01 am

    Hi Barbie,
    What a powerful message filled with truth and honesty. Actually, after reading it rather quickly, I got my cup of coffee and have reread it, this time soaking it in. I need to read it one more time to let God speak to me something I’m sure He is trying to teach me. You see I struggle with a few dreams not realized…. did I take a wrong turn? was it my voice and not His speaking these dreams into my heart? what truly matters in life? and my central thought goes back to my One Word for 2014 -BALANCE. Oh Lord have mercy! How do I balance all that this life demands plus follow my dreams? Oh dear,,, I’m beginning to ramble. Sorry, it feels like a safe place here at your bloggy land home. Anyways, thank you for sharing your own struggles and journey. And I hope you have a blessed day! “Unable to fly, I sit, perched among the fragrant flowers, only able to see the beauty that is right in front of me…”

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 11, 2014 at 10:12 pm

      Debbie, I am so thankful you feel comfortable enough to ramble on at my place. Freedom to do so, any time. I am so glad this post encouraged your heart. Have a blessed tomorrow!

  • Reply
    Becky Keife
    June 9, 2014 at 7:18 am

    “Am I willing to lay them all down for the sake of knowing Him?” This is a brave question that will surely lead all who sincerely ask it closer to the heart of Jesus. I’ll be wrestling with this one with you. Thank you for sharing your broken heart. It is beautiful. Praying for God’s healing and restoration. The waiting IS hard. But He is good. And He is able. Rest in that today, friend.
    Becky Keife recently posted..8 Ways to Feel Lousy about Your Life

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 12, 2014 at 12:39 am

      Thank you Becky. I am thankful to walk along side you on this journey.

  • Reply
    Satin
    June 9, 2014 at 8:22 am

    Praying for you, sweet friend, that you will find peace in your time of nestling in His arms. Under the shadow of His wings, are are safe. Much love you! xo
    Satin recently posted..Journey to Rest (Week 1 of 4)

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 12, 2014 at 12:40 am

      I like it there, under the shadow of His wings. I think I’ll stay a while.

  • Reply
    Michele
    June 9, 2014 at 9:02 am

    What a beautiful post and exactly what I needed today! Thank you for sharing and I will be lifting you in prayer during this time–God is teaching me to trust Him in deeper ways through my current trial and brokenness and to lean on Him completely! He is blessing me with amazing peace through a very difficult situation and showing me every day that I am loved and protected and can have genuine, complete peace through the fire. Thank you so much for sharing! God bless you!!
    Michele recently posted..The Untamed Tongue

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 12, 2014 at 9:50 pm

      Thanks Michele. I appreciate your prayers!

  • Reply
    denise
    June 9, 2014 at 9:08 am

    Lovely post.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 12, 2014 at 9:51 pm

      Thanks Denise!

  • Reply
    Elizabeth@BeautyObserved
    June 9, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    Barbie,

    I am continuing to pray for you during this time. Even butterflies with broken wings are beautiful! And you have a macro view of the beauty all around you while you heal. (((Barbie)))
    Elizabeth@BeautyObserved recently posted..Monday Blog Tour

  • Reply
    Carrie
    June 9, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    This reminds me of your recent butterfly post. You lay nestled inside the chrysalis, as The Lord speaks, loves and protects you. Yes, waiting is very hard – as kids can attest to when waiting for the newly formed butterfly to break free. Standing with you as we learn to be patient and to trust His will! Blessings, friend!
    Carrie recently posted..He Is My Watch Keeper

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 12, 2014 at 9:52 pm

      I thought of that post while writing this. I am finding all of the pieces of my writing connecting and intertwining. Have a blessed weekend.

  • Reply
    Pamela
    June 9, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    Ah, my friend, you are in a hard time. The pain of a broken wing–dream. It’s going to be an amazing day when God opens His blessings over your head and fixes that wing. I’ve prayed it will be soon. His answers always come.
    Pamela recently posted..Speak Up and Shelter: Chapter Two

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 12, 2014 at 9:53 pm

      Pamela, I so appreciate your comment. Thank you so much!

  • Reply
    Jennifer
    June 10, 2014 at 7:12 am

    Friend, I was desperate for these words and didn’t know it. Thank you. xo
    Jennifer recently posted..we look a little bit like him

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 12, 2014 at 9:53 pm

      Jennifer! So nice to see your smiling face here.

  • Reply
    Melody
    June 10, 2014 at 11:03 am

    Yes, I have felt like a butterfly with broken wings before too…..dry seasons in which I have to remind myself that “this too shall pass”. You are a woman of God’s word and of prayer and he will give you new mercies each day. Love you and thank you for blogging even in the midst of brokenness.
    Melody recently posted..He answered – four years later

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 12, 2014 at 9:56 pm

      Thank you for stopping by Melody and for your kind comment and your prayers.

  • Reply
    Ceil
    June 10, 2014 at 11:10 am

    Hi Barbie! I can relate to the season of brokenness. It never seems like it means anything…just pain and sadness. But God does make use of everything in our lives, I know you’ll come back with a great shout! And I know you will share that joy too.
    Patience is a tough virtue. It’s hard to be patient in the dark. But I will sit with you, along with all your blog-friends as you wait for you light to come.
    Many blessings and hugs to you,
    Ceil
    Ceil recently posted..The Bonfire

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 12, 2014 at 9:58 pm

      Ceil, what beautiful encouragement to my heart. Thank you for sitting with me in the dark. It makes the light all the more reachable.

  • Reply
    child of God
    June 10, 2014 at 6:42 pm

    Oh hon, waiting for Father’s timing can be so hard and the lessons in between can be tough. Walking beside you my friend in prayer.
    As I have shared before it seems Father likes to keep me in the valley…on my knees. I am learning to actually really love this place because it is here that He is always carrying me…I am in His constant embrace and really what better place is there to be but in the arms of my Husband. The fleshy part hurts a lot but the spiritual part is so exquisite and I am so honoured that He is keeping me here for my love for Him only deepens and grows as I tunnel deeper and deeper into knowing Him.

    Maybe you can glean from that.

    Hugs, love and lots of prayers sister.
    child of God recently posted..Rejoice

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 12, 2014 at 9:59 pm

      Thank you friend. Chewing on these words tonight.

  • Reply
    Beth
    June 11, 2014 at 3:47 am

    Holding you close in prayer, friend. Waiting is hard but He is there with you and will never leave you. Much love to you. xoxo (((hugs)))
    Beth recently posted..Three Word Wednesday: Love isn’t jealous

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 12, 2014 at 10:00 pm

      Love you my friend!

  • Reply
    Lisa @ FSL
    June 11, 2014 at 9:29 am

    Ah friend this is beautiful and real…. praying for you, and knowing that He has you right where He wants you.
    Lisa @ FSL recently posted..Comment on LTTL…RAW, what is it and why use it. by Elizabeth Stewart

    • Reply
      Barbie
      June 12, 2014 at 10:00 pm

      Thank you my beautiful friend!

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