The Weekend Brew: The Beauty of Redemption


Life is moving slowly for me. More slowly than I would like, and it’s not because I’m being still and seeking Him in the silence. I can’t seem to find the energy for all the things I have to do, let alone what I what to do.  So, I’m not doing much of anything.

I’ve been asking God where I went wrong. In the seeking, the praying and the pursuit of living a more fulfilled life, I seem to have lost sight of Him as life stands at a still emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In the midst of a new job, I feel anxious, unsure if I made the right decision. I really miss the last chapter of my life.

In the midst of my study of Advent, my vision has become cloudy and I’ve stopped seeking.

In the midst of a marriage that needs work in order to be healthy, I’ve become complacent and comfortable.

In the midst of hopes and dreams yet unfulfilled, I’ve thrown myself into a pit and can’t seem to get out.

What I am learning is that when life took yet another turn, and weariness coupled with exhaustion together with “too much on my plate” set in, I have only been able to see two feet in front of me. I am unable, or unwilling perhaps, to see Jesus in the midst of the chaos and the brokenness. This wasn’t the kind of beauty I was seeking, that which comes with a messy, chaotic and in-desperate-need-of-healing  life. I much prefer the kind of beauty that is neat and tidy, calm and peaceful and completely whole.

I’m weak and weary, and in need of a Savior. Why then when life gets hard do I stop seeking? I barely have the strength to reach beyond my circumstances and see Him for who He is.

But my Savior, He sees it all. He is right here in the middle of my mess and His desire is that I would look into His eyes and behold Him.  When I behold Him, all of the chaos and confusion falls away.

[Tweet “This is the beauty of redemption. He sees it all. He knows it all. Yet, He still comes.”]

No matter what season I may be going through, no matter if my pursuit becomes a standstill, He still reaches down from Heaven to meet me, right here in the midst of all that threatens to consume me.

I want to seek Him, not just on the days when life is going good. I want to seek Him all the more when life is hard. And friends, life is just hard right now. I covet your prayers as I move through this season.

How are you seeing the beauty of redemption in your own life?

*photo credit

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Seeking beauty in the ordinary and embracing life to the fullest. Thank you for stopping by and come again soon!

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35 Responses

  1. I pray that you continue to seek God and accept and receive His love and peace for you during these tough times. Thanks so much for hosting this link up and I am praying for you. Blessings.
    Terri Presser recently posted..CHRISTMAS THE PRESSER WAY

  2. Jedidja says:

    The beauty is that I is seeking my in my own mess …
    Jedidja recently posted..Butterfly in winter season

  3. Sarah says:

    I am right there with you Barbie. But you recognize it and know where to go for the hope. That is more than most people have with no Savior. Praying you have a peaceful weekend and can enjoy this season. Xoxox
    Sarah recently posted..The Unrest in Advent

  4. Saying prayers for you in this season of transition. I’ve walked through similar seasons where Jesus seemed so far away. Seasons when the way forward was so veiled I couldn’t even figure out which way to step, so had to just keep taking baby steps in faith. Stillness and Sabbath rest were the surprising things that sustained me through my own season of darkness and transition and I pray you’re able to find them in this season and allow yourself to be renewed, remade, revived, refreshed, re-envigorated.
    Kathryn Shirey recently posted..We Three Kings of Orient Are

  5. Praying for you Barbie! You are not alone! The Lord is with you! <3
    Michelle Anderson recently posted..Advent_December 20

  6. I much prefer the kind of beauty that is neat and tidy, calm and peaceful and completely whole.”
    I get it. I really do, but there wouldn’t be much of a Gospel if is was neat, tidy, calm and peaceful. No eye has seen or hear heard the wonderful plans He has for you. Hang in there, my sister sweet. ~Chris~
    Chris Malkemes recently posted..Voices From Berea House – Bette Sue and Bob Macisaac

  7. Amy Jung says:

    Sometimes I wonder what it must have been like to be Jesus. He may have had the talent and ability to pursue anything (painting, writing, singing, etc). Yet He only had time for the mission the Father gave Him. And I’m sure that He was limited due to being in the flesh. He became weary, he had to sleep, work, etc. I wonder what scriptures He thought upon and how He prayed as He handled his physical longings and desires in a holy way. I can relate to where you are…and I think He can too! I pray that the Lord will refresh and surprise you with healing and renewal. Merry Christmas, Barbie!
    Amy Jung recently posted..Glory to the Newborn King

  8. June says:

    Sweet, Barbie. My heart aches reading this post as you share your heart. I’m glad to hear about the job, though. I haven’t been around as much as I like lately. I wish I could share with you what is going on in our son’s life right now. Suffice it to say, there is no peace this Christmas. Only that which the Lord gives. We can’t see Him, yet, in this situation, but I know He is here. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other until we see the Light. It will come. This dark time will not last forever. We cling to the promises of His word. Praying for you, Barbie.
    June recently posted..Inspired by . . . the Hope of His Coming Vol. 14

    • Barbie says:

      Oh June, my prayers are with you. In your greatest area of need, I am asking the Father to draw close. I know these seasons do not last forever. He will bring us through. It’s a promise. Merry Christmas my friend.

  9. Carol says:

    Dear Barbie,
    Praying for you and your family. I have started jobs and then doubted myself–It is stressful. I pray that God will guide you. Jesus knows your need.
    Carol recently posted..Christmas Rose

  10. Thank you for being so honest here, Barbie. Praying for you, friend! I’m sorry life is so hard right now. I totally get the weariness of wondering where it went wrong. But you are so right to keep seeking Him even when it’s hard! As long as you are doing that, you can rest assurd you are doing exactly what you need to be doing. Praying he refreshes and restores you soon!
    Heather Faria recently posted..Advent Week Two – Peace, The Spacious Place

  11. Elizabeth says:

    Love you, sweet friend! My thoughts and prayers are with you!
    Elizabeth recently posted..Friday Favs….Knockoff Anthropologie Wool Pom Pom Wreath

  12. Carrie says:

    Friend, this post reminds me of how our pastor has been talking about brokenness. None of us wants to wander the desert in circles, but that is how He molds us, teaches us, draws us closer to Him. Brokenness is painful, frustrating and incredibly tiresome, but I know He’ll lead you out and when He does – the joy and gratitude you’ll feel! And to look back and see His Hand among it all. Keep putting one simple step in front of the other. Praying for you. Hugs!

  13. Carmen Horne says:

    My mom says sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees. That seems so right. You have been in a difficult season and sometimes it seems we don’t even realize our despair at first. We are just surviving. The good thing about you Barbie is that you know where to turn.

    Lord, wrap Barbie up with your love. Help her feel you today like a warm blanket on a cold day. She sure needs to some visible confirmation that You are there. Amen

    Love you Barbie!
    Carmen Horne recently posted..Because we feel just average…

  14. Barbie, I completely get where you are coming from. I was in a similar spot last year. I had been chewed up and spit out by the world. I was empty, with nothing left to give. I was just trying to get through the days. Jesus is with you, and you have many lifting you in prayer, including me. Praying God reveals Himself to you in a way that encourages your heart. I wish we could have lunch together to share in person. Until that day, I’m with you in spirit, dear friend. Much love to you.
    Julie Lefebure recently posted..What I Learned This Week – December 20

  15. ~Karrilee~ says:

    Girlie… I love you so! I cannot thank you enough for being brave and honest here… I know, especially in this online world, it is easier to keep thing ‘neat and tidy’ and yet, there is not a one of us who hasn’t (or isn’t still) going through a tough season… it always helps to know and remember that we are not alone, in that of course HE is always with us, always coming for us… but also in that we are one Body and we are in community where real life unfolds and that means the good/easy seasons as well as the harder ones! Praying for you, friend!
    ~Karrilee~ recently posted..That Thing I Do Now – Vol 75

  16. Betsy says:

    Barbie, I’ve seen you on Twitter, but this is my first visit to your blog. Thanks for your honesty here. I know many of us can relate. I needed to read this this evening because I was just thinking myself how Christmas means Christ coming into our messy lives. My week started with my step-mother’s death and finished with an “interesting” conversation with my husband! So I’m grateful to have Jesus in the middle of my mess. I’m praying for you now.
    Betsy recently posted..Let Every (Stressed and Tired) Heart Prepare Him Room

  17. Lea says:

    Reading this reminds me that “joy comes in the morning.” Seems that you are in a very tough long night right now and I pray that you will find “joy in the morning” very soon. May the Lord wrap HIS everlasting arms around you tightly this Christmas week and give you the assurance that you need at this difficult time. Hugs to you!
    Lea recently posted..A Gaylord Christmas Family Weekend

  18. Praying for you and yours in this season, Barbie! Thank you for the incredible reminder of how amazing His love is in that He truly does know and see all, but His love is unchanging. Continue to draw near to Him knowing that He is all that you need. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
    Heather @ My Overflowing Cup recently posted..22 Things I Love About You

  19. Barbie…Boy, do we need Jesus, huh? Especially in our times of need and yet we tend to run the other direction. However, it is awesome and humbling how the Lord will pull us back to Him some way or another. That’s what makes Him the Good Shepherd because he doesn’t let us wander too far. Thank you for hosting and praying you have a blessed Christ-filled Christmas. Hugs.

  20. Denise says:

    Blessings and prayers dear Barbie; I hope things start falling into place for you. Things can change or become complacent in our lives, but our God of hope and grace never grows tired or weary and His love never changes!!! All my love for a Christmas filled with joy, peace, and hope! ♥
    Denise recently posted..♡ REAL Christmas JOY ♡

  21. Beth says:

    “He doesn’t withhold Jesus from you. Christ is all your good, and He is all yours, and this is always all your miracle.” #TheGreatestGift
    I love you sweet friend and hold you so close in prayer.
    Beth recently posted..A Christmas Wish

  22. Ann says:

    My thoughts and prayers go with you, Barbie. I think Christmas can be one of the most difficult times, as people expect everyone to be happy and joyful every minute. But trials, burdens, and stress often become even more overwhelming during this season.(I know they have been that way for me, too!) God knows your heart and your struggles. May He walk beside you (and even carry you, when you need it.)
    Love you, friend! Ann
    Ann recently posted..Advent….Waiting for the Lord

  23. Oh my friend, I so know those feelings. Last week I wasn’t feeling any of this Christmas joy stuff, so I blogged about it. You’re going through a transition with the job, and all of these other things are going on as well…give yourself permission to just feel your feelings. We don’t have to do it all perfectly. Have you ever read, “Get Out of the Pit” by Beth Moore? If you’re a Beth Moore fan, and you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. It’s great. I pray that as you reach your hands up to our Lord to pull you out of the pit, you will experience joy unspeakable, even in the midst of the chaos. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
    Mary Dolan Flaherty recently posted..Friend? Or Faux?

  24. Praying for you Barbie! He will hold you, even when you don’t realize it! Beautiful post, thank you!
    Ellen Chauvin recently posted..One Man’s Trash – A Christmas Gift of Love

  25. Misty Brown says:

    I, too, have experienced times when I knew Jesus was with me and that I should turn to Him, but I headed in another direction, opposite of Him. Jesus is the One we should go to with all of our problems, in good times, and bad. We should seek Him at all times. #bloggercaregroup

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