A Matter Of The Heart // One Word Check In


I knew my word for the year was going to present a challenge. I knew that it would not be easy to allow God to show me what it truly means to live a life of contentment, considering I find myself deep in a valley with no motivation to crawl out.

I’ve had to do some hard evaluation over the last couple of weeks, and what I’ve uncovered is a heart filled with discontent. Sure I’ve had my fair share of disappointments over the last few years, but I’ve allowed those disappointments to root deep in my heart, and what is growing there is not life-sustaining. It’s literally choking the life right out of me.

Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God’s wise and fatherly disposal in every condition. (credit)

My heart has not been freely submitting to, nor has it been delighting in the fact that God is in control of every situation of my life. I sing about trusting Jesus, yet I am plagued with doubt and worry. I want for other things, for circumstances to be different, and as long as my heart is filled with discontent, my heart is sick and in need of healing.

[Tweet “The matter of becoming content has become a matter of the heart.”]

My mind and heart are filled with wrong thinking and wrong desires. My constant focus on the “if only’s”  in life have taken my eyes off of Jesus and the blessings that He’s put right in front of me.

It isn’t easy for me to admit that I’m not living a content-filleld life. I want to, and I know it’s the only way my heart will ever fully heal.

I told someone just this past week that I was tried of living in lack.

[Tweet “As long as my eyes are on my circumstances, I will always be in lack.”]

I forget all too often that God is a Good Shepherd and promises that I shall not be in want.

Right now, I’m wanting the right things but for the wrong reasons. Or perhaps I’m wanting the wrong things for the wrong motives. I want to trust God fully with my life. He knows the end from the beginning. And no matter how it plays out, I know that He will never leave me nor forsake me.

I must learn to rest in His promises and leave the rest up to Him. I am striving to immerse myself in His Word, to read scripture that remind me of His promises and of His goodness.

I have a long way to go, But I am willing. I want to live a content-filled life so that a I may be a testimony of His goodness and faithfulness to these around me.

Barbie S. One Word Button 2015 SmallLinking up with Deanna at The Pure Sacrifice as we share the journey of our One Word focus for 2015.




Seeking beauty in the ordinary and embracing life to the fullest. Thank you for stopping by and come again soon!

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11 Responses

  1. Chrissy says:

    I know how you are feeling. I feel the same way. My heart needs healing. I am not where I want to be and the longing for being somewhere else is over-shadowing my every day. Barbie, I truly hope things will get better for you and your family! Thinking of you and sending hugs your way! xxx
    Chrissy recently posted..Authentic Bloggers // Come and join us.

  2. Betsy says:

    I’ve been reading a book by Karen Ehman called “Let it Go: how to stop running the show and start walking by faith.” It’s about control, but she links it to contentment by explaining that we tend to try to control situations when we don’t feel content in them. The book is really challenging me to relax in the spot that God has for me. So hard to do. Blessings on you. I love your post and your graphic.
    Betsy recently posted..Fresh Air for Your Marriage

  3. Mary Geisen says:

    God knows-He really does know your heart, your circumstances and your dreams. Praying for peace for you in this journey to contentment. When I read your quote about Christian contentment, I realize I don’t quite fit into those words very well some days. Love you girl!
    Mary Geisen recently posted..My One Word-One Month Later {Almost}

  4. Rosann says:

    I, too, struggle with contentment – or I have feelings of guilt for desiring more than what God has given me today in this very moment. What I’m learning is that HE is all I need, and everything else…well, that’s just a delicious gravy added to the feast. It’s hard to get my mind to stay focused on just how blessed I actually am, though. As I’ve made the journey to seek more JOY in my life this year, I’ve discovered I have much to be JOYful about, and that JOY presents itself when I focus my eyes on the right things. I have only missed a few mornings of quiet time so far this year. I already notice such a difference in my overall attitude after consistently being in (and really studying) God’s word and spending time with Him. Funny how His answer is always there when we seek it. I’ve been praying for you, and hoping things with your new job are going well. Miss you! 🙂
    Rosann recently posted..What I Learned Memorizing and Studying Mark 11:24

  5. This is hard. I have also been struggling with some discontent lately. It’s not a pretty place to be and it can be hard to turn things around. Praying for you as you go through this journey.
    Deanna Wiseburn recently posted..Being

  6. Mary Gemmill says:

    Learning to be content in whatever circumstances is a huge challenge, isn’t it ? !!
    Paul told us he had learnt how but he didn’t tell us how he learnt it 😉

    I have discovered that provision often follows thankfulness…..
    so giving thanks in all things somehow unlocks Heaven’s Gates
    for His mercies and blessings to flow.

    • Barbie says:

      You are so right Mary. I’ve been pondering restarting counting my gifts. I started a few years back and quite too short. It’s something I’d like to make a daily habit. Thank you for blessing me with your comment.

  7. ~Karrilee~ says:

    I love that He is leading you… that He is wanting so much for you to taste and see… to be content in knowing that He really means it when He says He will work all things together for your good… and this: “My heart has not been freely submitting to, nor has it been delighting in the fact that God is in control of every situation of my life.” Oh… me too, sweet friend! Sometimes we think we would rather be the one in charge – but thank God He knows best! Love you so!
    ~Karrilee~ recently posted..SHARE – Five Minute Friday…

  8. I have been exactly where you were. I pray that God guides your heart into a place of contentment. It is a blessed place to be – full of abundance and blessings <3
    Michelle Westbrook recently posted..Happiness is… {#HappyFaceFridays}

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