I knew my word for the year was going to present a challenge. I knew that it would not be easy to allow God to show me what it truly means to live a life of contentment, considering I find myself deep in a valley with no motivation to crawl out.
I’ve had to do some hard evaluation over the last couple of weeks, and what I’ve uncovered is a heart filled with discontent. Sure I’ve had my fair share of disappointments over the last few years, but I’ve allowed those disappointments to root deep in my heart, and what is growing there is not life-sustaining. It’s literally choking the life right out of me.
Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God’s wise and fatherly disposal in every condition. (credit)
My heart has not been freely submitting to, nor has it been delighting in the fact that God is in control of every situation of my life. I sing about trusting Jesus, yet I am plagued with doubt and worry. I want for other things, for circumstances to be different, and as long as my heart is filled with discontent, my heart is sick and in need of healing.
[Tweet “The matter of becoming content has become a matter of the heart.”]
My mind and heart are filled with wrong thinking and wrong desires. My constant focus on the “if only’s” in life have taken my eyes off of Jesus and the blessings that He’s put right in front of me.
It isn’t easy for me to admit that I’m not living a content-filleld life. I want to, and I know it’s the only way my heart will ever fully heal.
I told someone just this past week that I was tried of living in lack.
[Tweet “As long as my eyes are on my circumstances, I will always be in lack.”]
I forget all too often that God is a Good Shepherd and promises that I shall not be in want.
Right now, I’m wanting the right things but for the wrong reasons. Or perhaps I’m wanting the wrong things for the wrong motives. I want to trust God fully with my life. He knows the end from the beginning. And no matter how it plays out, I know that He will never leave me nor forsake me.
I must learn to rest in His promises and leave the rest up to Him. I am striving to immerse myself in His Word, to read scripture that remind me of His promises and of His goodness.
I have a long way to go, But I am willing. I want to live a content-filled life so that a I may be a testimony of His goodness and faithfulness to these around me.
Linking up with Deanna at The Pure Sacrifice as we share the journey of our One Word focus for 2015.