This morning I had to choose to look up. Some days are just like that, aren’t they? We want to walk through life with our heads down, because sometimes it’s easier to turn away from hope. Hope looks up, it expects, it walks with a pep in her step. But what happens when you’ve waited with hopeful expectation for your circumstances to change? What do you do when you’ve pounded the door of heaven and there seems to be no change in sight? Do you give up? Some days, you may feel like it. I feel like giving up at times. I grow tired and weary waiting for hope to be realized. It’s not a lack of faith that causes me to turn away from hope, but overwhelming disappointment in the path before me.
It’s a constant struggle. I waver between hope and despair. I’m not afraid to admit it. This season, it’s been too long and it’s just hard. I believe that God is working. I just can’t see it yet. But this journey has caused weariness to set in. Words here may be few, until I can get my bearings and breathe once again a full breath of hope into my lungs.
When I was a little girl, I loved the roses that grew in my grandmother’s garden. Yet I was reluctant to touch them or smell them because of the thorns. They were very large and pierced my fingers until they bled. I always wondered why there had to be thorns among the roses.
Why does something that causes pain have to live beside something so beautiful?
Life is like a rose stem, isn’t it? It’s a mixture of beauty with something that is becoming beautiful. It’s laced with life and hope, and a constant reminder that if we want to be close to Jesus, we must be willing to allow him to pierce us from time to time. It’s a reminder of the painful sacrifice He made so that I could live a full life.
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Thank you for allowing me to continually process life out loud here in this space. You come for a daily cup of grace and my hope is to always encourage you, even when I walk through the valley.
Are you living as a rose among thorns in your current season? How can I pray for you?
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