43 In Weekend Whispers

When Your Well Runs Dry // Weekend Whispers

Well_WeekendWhispers

I wasn’t feeling too good physically tonight. The first week of homeschooling went relatively easy, but the days and weeks leading up to it were exhausting. I’m not sure I’ve recovered. I also started a new business in Tupperware. I love the products and it gives me a chance to get out with the girls 2-3 nights a month, earn free products and much needed extra income.

On top of it all, I’m still trying to find my rhythm here in this space. I know that God has not removed his hand of blessing here, but I feel as though I’ve been in a season of stunted growth. I feel as if I’m sitting on the sidelines watching the world of blogging friends go by. I still struggle with comparison — what I feel I should be writing about, etc. and so on. I wish I didn’t. I don’t want to be like someone else. I want to be the me God created me to be, but some days I’m not sure who she is.

I discovered something about myself recently, which really isn’t a divine revelation, just something that I’ve chosen to sweep under the carpet and not look at — until now.

I’ve become slothful in my devotion to God.

I just finished reading Danise Jurado‘s new book, Fulfilled – Learning To Live The Life God Promised, and in one of the chapters she shares about how, through the prayer and revelation of another woman of God, she realized that she had become lazy in her devotion to God.  If been allowing this one point to seek deep into my heart. And I’m realizing that at some point in my broken journey, I became paralyzed, unable to move forward. I think I’m still stuck in that place.

I haven’t quite gotten into a life’s rhythm concerning my devotional time with God since the piles of hurt and disappointment came crashing down. I think I am realizing that I really haven’t dealt with it all.

In the midst of my heartache, I stopped reaching. When I stopped reaching I stopped receiving. In the midst of the emptiness I allowed my well to run dry.

I know I can trust you to receive me, just as I am, with your loving and open arms. Yet I feel a sense of responsibility to bare the weight of my struggle to those who take the time out of their busy days and weeks to read. I’ve always been honest and upfront in my walk with the Lord. And you in return have always been graceful and patient.

I need to settle into a routine of leaning in, looking up and letting go. I jump from book to book, from verse to verse, from Bible study to Bible study and all the while God is saying, “I’m right here, just let me love you.”

What is it that I fear?
Is His love not enough?
Why do I still feel as if I must earn His love?

Even though the well is dry, I can sense God calling me to dive in and dig down deeper. For there among the rubble and dirt lies the Living Water that I desperately crave.

[tweetthis]I need not fear the dry, parched land because I know there is Living Water running deep within. #weekendwhispers[/tweetthis]

Thank you for allowing me to bare my soul here. This is a safe place. Will you share how God is revealing His heart to you? Let’s gather around one another in worship, in celebration and in prayer.

Barbie Swihart
  1. Link up a post that shares how God is whispering to your heart as you walk out your journey.
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43 Comments

  • Reply
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
    August 28, 2015 at 11:53 pm

    Methinks you are a mite hard on yourself…God doesn’t set a standard. he merely want US.

    To me…God is saying, Keep Going. You’re not done yet.

    There are times it hurts too much, and I literally can’t stand, nor sit upright. But I have to brace myself to my duty – and that is witnessing God’s love in the midst of the nightmare.

    He’s there. He cares.
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser recently posted..Your Dying Spouse 49 – Alone In The Fight {FMF}

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:15 pm

      Thank you so much Andrew. Despite all that you are going through, you still manage to stop by and encourage my heart and the hearts of others. God bless you!

  • Reply
    Terri Presser
    August 29, 2015 at 1:56 am

    Thank you so much for hosting each week and also for sharing your heart with us. I too have become slack and I am slowly getting back on track, I have plenty excuses, but nothing worthwhile. Blessings
    Terri Presser recently posted..OUR DAY TRIP TO PORTLAND VICTORIA

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:16 pm

      Thanks Terri. I appreciate you and that you take the time to visit and link up each week.

  • Reply
    Michele Morin
    August 29, 2015 at 2:56 am

    Barbie, I love your heart.
    Yes, we get parched when we are continually pouring out, and I’ve been soaking lately in Isaiah 58:10, 11 because drought had become a way of life:
    “If you extend your soul to the hungry
    And satisfy the afflicted soul,
    Then your light shall dawn in the darkness,
    And your darkness shall be as the noonday.
    The Lord will guide you continually,
    And satisfy your soul in drought,
    And strengthen your bones;
    You shall be like a watered garden,
    And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.”

    Praying that your roots will find a spring this weekend as you sink them deep into His Word.
    Michele Morin recently posted..It’s Time

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:16 pm

      Thank you so much Michele.

  • Reply
    Susan Shipe
    August 29, 2015 at 3:24 am

    Barbie, we’ve all been “there”. And there is no three step program – just a matter of “doing it” and remembering there is GRACE. The one picture I like to keep in my head is that of The Father waiting for me in the morning (or whenever) and I don’t want to stand Him up! BUT, I confess, summers get my routine totally out of sync. The mornings are bright and I can be out in the garden or mowing or whatever before my work day begins. So, right now, I am trying to get back into the morning routine – wrong word because it shouldn’t be routine but a heart-want-to. I’ve rambled….xo good post.
    Susan Shipe recently posted..five minute friday: alone

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:18 pm

      I’ve never been much of an early riser. It was much easier thought, before children. My best times used to be evenings, but now I fall asleep reading the word. I guess that’s where the “rest” comes in. Blessings!

  • Reply
    Kathryn Shirey
    August 29, 2015 at 3:27 am

    Praying for you as you adjust into this next season and allow God to unfold His plans for you. In these seasons of change, it takes time to find our new normal and find all the things we’re supposed to add, change, cutback in order to reach that equilibrium again. Thank you for continuing to write – even if a little – and continuing this community here.
    Kathryn Shirey recently posted..Set Your Heart on the Road that Leads to God

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:18 pm

      Thank you Kathryn. I appreciate that you take the time to visit and link up.

  • Reply
    Mrs. White
    August 29, 2015 at 3:28 am

    I just came across your blog today. It is beautiful and peaceful here. I think you are doing a wonderful job.
    Mrs. White recently posted..The Secret to a Clean House

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:19 pm

      Thank you Mrs. White! I look forward to visiting your blog soon.

  • Reply
    shannan williams
    August 29, 2015 at 3:31 am

    Barbie,

    Thank you for being so open and honest here with us. You are such a wonderful person and actually someone that I look up to (yes you better believe that). I homeschooled my daughter for the past two years in Junior High and I remember the months leading up to it were exhausting. I am now getting ready to homeschool my son for Junior High but we are going through a charter school so we recieve all materials from them. I love you my sweet sister in Christ and hang in there… Much Love and God Bless ~Shannan
    shannan williams recently posted..Centralia by Mike Dellosso (my review)

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:19 pm

      Shannan, you bless my heart, more than you know. Love you friend.

  • Reply
    Kia Stephens
    August 29, 2015 at 4:11 am

    Barbie, your honesty is beautiful and I think that is where God WORKS. Be encouraged fellow blogger. We have all dealt with or are in and out of dealing with comparison. I’m not trying to advertise but I have a post that talks about it on my blog, “True Confessions of a Recovering Hater” http://wp.me/p54YOg-dc . It is the most read post on my site, probably because so many women deal with comparison and whether or not we measure up. Be encouraged Barbie! God sees you and in His eyes you do not need to measure up. He has a God shaped vacuum in this world that only you can fill and you are filling it even when you think you aren’t. Praying God would envelope you with His all consuming and soul affirming love THIS DAY! Be blessed! – Kia

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:21 pm

      Thank you Kia. I so appreciate that you took the time to stop by.

  • Reply
    Brenda
    August 29, 2015 at 4:30 am

    (((Hug))) I’ve only recently met you, but the reason that I come back is because I appreciate the genuine spirit that you convey. Thank you. 🙂 It’s easy to look around and see everyone else’s activity, and wonder if what you’re doing matters. (My blog is fairly new, so my head is often spinning when I compare my pace to the pace of others around me.) I believe that what you are doing here in this space matters. ~ Prayers for you as you seek a new rhythm for your devotion time with God. I love how you counter the dry parched phases with the Living Water that is always present. Praise God that it’s always flowing, even when we are in dry seasons. ((( HUGS )))
    Brenda recently posted..Who Do You Think You Are Anyway?

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:24 pm

      Brenda, thank you for taking the time to encourage my heart today. Thank you for helping me to realize that what I do here in this space matters. Blessings!

  • Reply
    Candace
    August 29, 2015 at 4:38 am

    I always so appreciate your honesty and open heart, Barbie. I also always seem to relate to everything you share. I’m really tired of comparing myself to other writers, but it seems to be something I can’t break free of. I know how unnecessary and damaging it can be, but it lingers on.
    I’m also with you on the devotion time struggle. I too jump from Bible study to Bible study, too often forgetting to just sit and chat with God :). I love this: “and all the while God is saying, ‘I’m right here, just let me love you.'” Thanks for that important reminder and encouragement. Praying for you!
    Candace recently posted..A Hunger For God

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:25 pm

      Thank you Candace. I appreciate that you take the time to visit and encourage me as well as others.

  • Reply
    Shelby
    August 29, 2015 at 4:54 am

    Barbie, it seems that you and I are in much the same season. I’m reading that book, as well, and I could have written your post. Not with such eloquence but the points are the same. Thank you for this: “Even though the well is dry, I can sense God calling me to dive in and dig down deeper. For there among the rubble and dirt lies the Living Water that I desperately crave.”

    I will be praying for you!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:25 pm

      Thank you Shelby. Let’s dive in together, shall we?

  • Reply
    Joanne Viola
    August 29, 2015 at 6:08 am

    Barbie, your post this morning has brought me back to a verse I have been looking at this week … “I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” (Isaiah 45:3) There are treasures to be found, right where you are, that you would never have known any other way. May you know that He is with you, calling you by your name, wanting you to know Him even more intimately. Praying for you this morning. And may I add, thank you for blessing &encouraging me so many times through your writing, even when you had no idea you were doing so 🙂 Keep being you!
    Joanne Viola recently posted..5: Words, Quotes & Moments

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:26 pm

      Thank you friend. You are such an encouragement to me. Thank you for your friendship through the blogging years.

  • Reply
    June
    August 29, 2015 at 6:53 am

    Sweet Barbie. I love you. I think, for me anyway, that the fear is that God is/will be enough, when/if we fully embrace Him. That we will find He IS all we need. And that He will become all we need if we let Him. But that means letting go of things, behaviors, etc. that are comfortable. So we don’t go all in with God. We tease, we flirt, we watch from a distance. We taste just a little bit of the water, when we really want to jump in up to our necks. Because deep down in the quiet place where we get real with ourselves, we know that going all in with God means the biggest and greatest adventure of our lives . . . praying with you, my friend.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:27 pm

      Yes, this I know to be true of my own heart. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to encourage. Hugs!

  • Reply
    Carol
    August 29, 2015 at 7:35 am

    Dear Barbie, Some seasons feel like a drought. I was thinking of the verses that Michele shared–Isaiah 58: 10, 11. God will provide the spring of water. Thanking you for sharing your heart–I will pray. Thank-you for hosting.
    Carol recently posted..I Have Moved!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:28 pm

      Thank you so much Carol.

  • Reply
    Dawn Paoletta (@breathoffaith)
    August 29, 2015 at 7:38 am

    My dear Barbie, God’s love for you is inexhaustible. As it is for me…and yet, learning that we can rest in His finished work is the hardest thing we seem able to do. I appreciate you- longing to rest in Him, with you- knowing that we cannot frustrate His love…even when we are frustrated with ourselves.
    Dawn Paoletta (@breathoffaith) recently posted..Does Grace Have an Expiration Date?

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:29 pm

      You always know just what to say. “We cannot frustrate His love”. That’s so good. Blessings to you Dawn!

  • Reply
    Mary Dolan Flaherty
    August 29, 2015 at 7:56 am

    Oh, Barbie, I am a frequent player in this comparison game, as you know. I know these feelings–as you say–watching the world of blogging friends go by. I get it. And I too, feel as if I flit and flee from thing to thing. I have more books started and not as many finished, yet I can sit down with a piece of fiction and not come up for air. I often feel guilty about that, but truly, I think that is the enemy—well, duh, cause God doesn’t give us guilt like that. He convicts us in our guilt, but this guilt-it just festers and grows. There are times when I open his Word (usually for a blog) and drink it in, but much of the time, I feel like I’m either going through the motions, doing it out of obligation, and it all falls flat. And I wonder what’s wrong with me. That’s where the enemy would like us to dwell. But I think we both have to be as kind to ourselves as we would counsel someone else who is dealing with this. We are so quick to offer this advice of grace to others, but somehow, we’re not worthy. Well, girlfriend, we are! I pray that we both will find our way out of this thing with the help of the prayers of the faithful and our Lord Himself. Thanks for your transparency.
    Mary Dolan Flaherty recently posted..When Insecurity Rears Its Ugly Head

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:30 pm

      Thank you Mary. I will be praying for you as well. Appreciate you!

  • Reply
    bluecottonmemory
    August 29, 2015 at 10:45 am

    When my oldest son was in college, when I came home from school one day, he was lying in the middle of the living room floor. Peace pervaded the room. When I asked what he was doing, he said simply, “Soaking” – He’d had his prayer time and was just soaking in the spirit. I’m trying to be more intentional about that – about the time in His word – and the soaking. I think sometimes it’s a two steps forward and one step backward dance!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:31 pm

      It’s been a long time since I just laid down and soaked in the Lord. I must begin practicing His Presence again. Thank you!

  • Reply
    Laura Rath
    August 29, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    Hi Barbie, I have felt my well run dry at times over the past year and a half. During those times (I finally realized) I think He just wants me to rest…not try to figure out what I should be doing…just. rest. Oh, and that same part in Danise’s book convicted me also. I tried to skip over it and ignore it…but you know how that goes!
    Thankful for your safe place here,
    Laura
    Laura Rath recently posted..Heart Cleaning

    • Reply
      Barbie
      August 29, 2015 at 8:32 pm

      Thankful for you Laura. Let’s turn our hearts to Jesus and allow Him to accomplish His will in us. Running from it is so exhausting!

  • Reply
    Kathy
    August 29, 2015 at 9:02 pm

    So thankful for your Weekend Whispers and having a change to read your blog today. How I know these seasons so well, the time of dull faith..but like a cloudy day, God is like the sun..always there!! Be easy on yourself, I know God would want that, and be like a child, let God draw you close with His divine, soothing love. God loves you just how you are!

  • Reply
    Teri
    August 30, 2015 at 4:06 am

    thank you ….you expressed my heart perfectly….

  • Reply
    Tehila - Women Abiding
    August 30, 2015 at 6:15 am

    Dearest Barbie,

    Your raw honesty and humility are inspirational to me… You are a beautiful writer, and an obviously precious person!

    Thankful for you!

    God bless you my sis,
    Tehila
    Tehila – Women Abiding recently posted..5 Hidden Reasons Children Lash Out At Their Parents

  • Reply
    Mary Geisen
    August 30, 2015 at 6:58 am

    Beautiful and vulnerable words as always. When you let God speak through you and use your words you minister to many. Love you!
    Mary Geisen recently posted..Dear August

  • Reply
    Beth
    August 30, 2015 at 10:27 am

    I think we are on similar pages today, Barbie. My video post is about laziness in marriage, but the temptation to be lazy in my spiritual life is always present as well. I’m just so glad that I have a firm habit in place or I know I’d be all over the place! I’ll pray that you find your rhythm with God and feel secure in His embrace each day, my friend! Thanks for the linkup too!
    Beth recently posted..Comment on My Lazy Ways in Marriage by Is affection all that important in marriage? SJT Video

  • Reply
    Susan Mead
    August 30, 2015 at 2:17 pm

    Barbie, TRUTH. And beautifully written. I too have struggled…& must find the right rhythm to honor God first. Thank you for sharing so beautifully. Hugs. Susan
    Susan Mead recently posted..A Slice of Bread ~ Linkup

  • Reply
    Betty Draper
    September 2, 2015 at 10:18 am

    Been there more times than I like to count. I have taken a break this summer due to some health issues to not write much, not surf much, and not read as much. It’s been a couple months and I am so ready to get back into God’s rhythm for me. Glad I stopped by today Barb…needed to read this and a few others I have read this morning. This blog world can be so encouraging and uplifting of our Lord, grateful for all who write their hearts.

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