8 In Book study

Embracing Life’s Transitions // Week Three

I want to thank you for your grace and patience with me last week. I got behind on my reading, and then life happened, and then I completely forgot to finish the chapter and put up the post. In order to stay on track with our completion date, I will have a reading assignment during the week of Christmas. The good thing is the chapters are short and you shouldn’t have to spend more than an hour or two reading. I hope you are enjoying the study!

My heart really connected with this chapter. I found myself shaking my head a lot, whispering “ain’t that the truth” and shedding a tear or two. This chapter is so rich in wisdom and truth.

God wants us to lament. Complaint doesn’t see the goodness of the character of God. Lament is authentic about the feelings but knows the goodness and benevolence of God. – Ann Voskamp

This quote really stuck out to me. I realize that much of my hard season of change over the last four years has been spent complaining. Complaint doesn’t see the goodness of the character of God.  God gives us permission to lament over our losses.  Lament allows us to experience real feelings, but understands that God is still good.

It’s easy in a season of loss to shift our focus on to all that is wrong, or all that we feel is wrong. Change will either move us towards God, or away from God. #embracinglifestransitions #girlmeetschange Click To Tweet

I’ve told myself countless times to “just get over it”. And I’ve heard the same from some very well meaning friends of mine, or so it appears. After all, if I accept the truth that God has great plans for me and guides my every step, then why is it hard to accept the loss associated with change as a good thing? I should be able to just get over it, right?

Nothing could be further form the truth.

Change brings loss, and with loss comes upheavals and upsets. We are annoyed at ourselves for not being able to totally move on and see things clearly when in reality we can’t because we stand in the blur. – Kristen Strong, Girl Meets Change

We resent our humanity and weaknesses and do our best to hide them, and in the process we blow off the state of our own hearts and let the hard stuff change brings simmer in our souls. We don’t allow ourselves time to grieve the loss of the way things were before.Kristen Strong, Girl Meets Change

We all grieve differently. Whether you are grieving the loss of a loved one, a marital break up, a wayward child, job loss or something else, we must give ourselves the grace and space to reorient ourselves in the unfamiliar blur.

When we had to sell our house back in 2010, my life was a blur. I never thought I would ever feel at home in a rental. It took about two years until I was able to stop grieving and start looking toward the future. I will admit that at certain times and in certain ways that loss still stings a little. I may not yet be fully healed from it, but I’ve come a long way.

We must give ourselves permission to be angry, and to allow the tears to flow. God understands our feelings and we might as well express them to Him, being upfront and honest, so that the healing process can begin.

EmbracingLifesTransitions_Week3.1
Losing A Dream Hurts In The Deepest Places

We all have dreams. And when those dreams come crashing down and are no more, it hurts. Deeply. I am so thankful that God does not put a timeline on our grieving. He is patient, loving, caring, and grieves right alongside of us over our losses.  I love what Kristen shares about how we all have our own timetable of grief and healing. And although we don’t want to sit and mourn our losses until we go to heaven, we have a patient God who walks with us through the transition.

We must be patient with ourselves. And we must be patient with our fellow change-grievers too. – Kristen Strong, Girl Meets Change

I think I am hardest on myself. Sometimes the depth of my sorrow over lost dreams consumes me. I question God. I question myself. I question the choices of others. I get frustrated because I can’t seem to move on into a place of joy and living again. Knowing that God understands my sorrow and allows me time to mourn is a great comfort.

EmbracingLifesTransitions_week3.2
When the loss change brings leaves you in a blur, don’t just get over it.

Get through it by asking the difficult questions out loud.

Get through it by giving yourself grace amidst the blur.

Get through it by acknowledging the hard feelings while holding on to God’s truth.

God will hold you through the transition. Make sure you hold on to Him too. #embracinglifestransitions #girlmeetschange Click To Tweet

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8 Comments

  • Reply
    Lux
    December 1, 2015 at 12:49 am

    Amazing how many changes can happen to a man. More amazing is that sometimes, we have similar experiences but the change in us could be different from one person to the other. Only God never changes.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 1, 2015 at 10:29 pm

      He is faithful and He never changes. Thank you for stopping by and reading Lux.

  • Reply
    Michele Morin
    December 1, 2015 at 5:51 am

    Thanks, Barbie.

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 1, 2015 at 10:30 pm

      You’re most welcome Michele.

  • Reply
    Trudy
    December 1, 2015 at 10:41 am

    This is powerful and comforting, Barbie. To allow ourselves to grieve the losses due to change. To bring all our emotions, even anger, to God. I, too, think I’m hardest on myself. I beat myself up that I can’t “get over it” and move on. That, like you, “I can’t seem to move on into a place of joy and living again.” And I know I still need to work at grieving the loss of some dreams. Thank you for all this encouragement!

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 1, 2015 at 10:35 pm

      Trudy, I am so thankful you are being encouraged through this series. Give yourself permission to grieve. Healing will come. Hugs!

  • Reply
    Lynn Jow
    December 1, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    Thank you Barbie for giving yourself and others permission to grieve. If we don’t grieve we can not truly heal and then we become half functioning people who can not be fully alive to God and others. Pain is difficult to feel but it is important to allow ourselves to go through it. Jesus himself was a man of sorrow and grief. I am so grateful that He feels the depths of our sorrow and loss with us and that He brings trustworthy people into our lives who can support us when we go through seasons change that bring loss. Love you BB

    • Reply
      Barbie
      December 1, 2015 at 10:36 pm

      I love you dearly my friend. So thankful to journey through life with you. Hugs!

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