I’ve been meaning to sit down and write this update for a long time, like a year or so, but you know life happens and sometimes you get crushed under the weight of it all. When I finally crawled out from under the rock, I realized I simply don’t have the energy or motivation to continue running my life in “full steam ahead” fashion. I’ve walked through some intense changes over the last five years. I handled it like a champ, or so I thought. But after a while I realized I just couldn’t appear to be strong anymore, so I retreated and hung out in the background. I am still working through the pain. Admitting that I have mild depression and anxiety over it all has not been easy, but I’m learning to be okay with it.
I’ve thought about closing down this blog for a while because I just couldn’t seem to “get my life together”. I’ve stepped back, much farther than most blogging experts would ever dare to suggest, and I’ve paid the price. But in the stepping back I realized that this is something I still love to do, even after almost 8 years. Even through all the changes, lost subscribers and intense periods of writer’s block.
Where have I been?
I’ve been here, and I’ve not been here. If you are still around, you’ve probably noticed a significant drop in posting, as well as a shift in focus here. Even though I’ve lost a number of subscribers and my daily views are about half of what they once were, I’m not fretting about it. I’ve been at this way to long to put my faith in numbers. The bottom line is things change. People change. Circumstances change. We need to be willing to go where the winds of change take us.
This blog is an instrument for God’s glory, and I must not try to fit myself into the standardized mold that I see so many doing around me. I am me, and these are my words, and I am okay with writing, or not, and I am okay with you being here, or not.
Where am I at?
Honestly, I’m not really sure. I do know that still have a desire to encourage woman in their walk with the Lord. But lately I’ve been the one needing encouragement. I wasn’t sure how to handle the last few changes in my life and I just basically stopped being brave for a season and allowed myself to feel. Once I did that, I never realized how much grieving I was still doing over so many losses.
I’ve had to take a step back and ask myself if I’m doing any good by remaining here in this space. I do believe that the Lord has allowed me to keep this blog up and running for His glory as well as my benefit, to help remember this season and how he’s faithfully bringing me through.
But my focus has changed, dramatically.
Where Am I going?
I’m sure you’ve noticed the review posts, mostly centered around homeschooling. I know my readership does not comprise of homeschoolers, and to the blogging experts this would be a huge no no. But the reality is that homeschooling is a huge part of my life, and it’s one worthy of sharing. If I can encourage one full-time working mom with the resources that I am blessed to receive and share, as well as by sharing my own experiences, than I am doing a good thing.
Will this blog turn into a homeschooling blog? No, not completely. But it is turning into more of a lifestyle blog. As I learn to embrace every day that God gives to me, I want to be free to write when I feel led to write, about what I feel led to write about, never under pressure, never because I think I need to, or because I fear someone may unsubscribe. I cannot promise you consistency, but I can promise you authenticity.I cannot promise you consistency, but I can promise you authenticity. Click To Tweet
I will share more in the coming weeks about things I’d like to share in this space. I have so much more to say but this post is already too long.
If you haven’t already visited me over at my other blog, Let Us Walk Worthy, I hope you will stop by. Carrie and I have created a beautiful place for community and our desire is that we will encourage you to grow in your walk and intimacy with the Lord. Also, if you are looking for the Weekend Whispers link up, I’ve moved the link up to the new blog, with a new name, Let Us Grow. You can find the latest link up here.
Thank you for your patience with me as my life has transitioned so much over the last few years. I treasure each and every one of you.