We are on Day 16 of our chronological read of The Message Bible. Having just finished reading Job, I have a lot of thoughts swirling around in my head but they are hard to get out into words.
I have struggled in my reading, even 16 days in. Not so much the getting up to read part, although I’ve missed a day here and there. I struggle with the “sinking in deep” part. Sometimes (most of the time) when I read it’s as if I’m just going through the motions and I’m reminded once again that over the last few years my heart and mind have been somewhat disconnected from the deeper study of God’s Word. Sure I read scripture every day — on my flip calendar, through blogs, in the emails I receive that I subscribe to. In a way, I’ve allowed myself to live on the words of others. I’ve opened up blogs and emails and nodded the affirmative “AMEN” as I’ve read, but I’ve been neglecting the Secret Place.
I love God…with all of my heart, but my heart has been so removed from the deeper things in this season. I go from day to day, doing the same things over and over again and I’ve settled into a comfortable routine. I’m lacking the fire that once burned in my heart. I’m lacking the passion for His presence and the hunger for His Word that was once so evident. But someone reminded me just the other day that it’s still there — the fire, the passion and the hunger. It’s not that it’s missing from my life altogether, but it’s been diminished by seemingly overwhelming weights of disappointment.
What I am realizing as I set out this year to commit all things to God is that my heart is still hurting, in so many ways. There are so many places of disappointment, so many things I do not understand, so many “why Gods”. Even though I know it’s normal to ask these questions, I’ve allowed my guilt and shame in the asking to overshadow a God who is very present in my life who wants to teach me how to live in abundance, even in my lack.
This committing, it’s been hard. But I’m not going to stop. I’m going to keep pushing ahead. I may get knocked back a step or two, but I’m going to keep getting up. I know God has given me this Word, because it’s not so much about committing to Him, to His Word, to my home and to health — but it’s about realizing that He’s committed to me. He’s with me in my messy, unordered life and He’s with me in my uncommitted ways.
This week we pick back up again in Genesis and I am truly grateful that God has me on this journey through His Word.
And now I continue to list the beauty that I’m finding in my every day life.
271. Green hills after an abundance of rain over the last week.
272. His grace is enough!
273. Reminders that He’s committed to me, despite my faults.
274. Peace at work despite a very busy season.
275. More blog design work.
276. Homeschool successes.
277. “Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love.”
278. Warm chocolate chip cookies.
279. My blog tech, Merri Dennis, who keeps my blog running.
280. How He reminds me of His presence when I’m longing to be known.
What lessons are you learning this week? How can I pray for you?
It is time to share the glimpses of beauty found this week.
Words written, gratitude given, photos taken, things created — anything that reflects the beauty of God revealed in your ordinary life.
1. Grab the button to place in your post, or simply link back here.
2. Link up with the post permalink, and not just your blog url.
3. Visit and encourage others who link up. We need each other!
4. Share about the link up on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
5. Use the hashtag #glimpsesofhisbeauty so that we can find each other’s posts.