I use to love to have people randomly drop by. Deep down, I think I still would, yet the state of my home brings me so much anxiety. I keep telling myself they aren’t coming to see the house, they are coming to see me. But now with a house full, and literally two families living in it, we are in a season of not having people over. Sure, I could offer them a floor to sit on, or a tv tray to eat on, and I am sure that would be okay with that. But the perfectionist in me keeps saying, “this isn’t good enough.” This is one way that God is working on my heart as I learn to simplify this year. A true friend comes to sit with you, to share her heart, to hear yours and sup in whatever way is offered to her. Truth is, I need people to invade my life, invited or not.
Truth is, I need people to invade my life, invited or not. #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet
This morning, however, I had a most uninvited guest show it’s ugliness and it took me by surprise. I was running late getting my son to church. I was actually going to visit another church this morning, but since he was serving and two of my kids were leading worship, I thought I would go along with him. I showed up right about the time worship was starting but I so needed a cup of coffee to kick start my morning. The line for the coffee bar was very long but I endured. Getting my coffee about 10:45am, my daughter’s beautiful song already over (although I heard it in the lobby, beaming with pride), I made my way to the sanctuary. I opened the doors and my heart began to pound in my chest. It wasn’t the excited feeling you get when you know you are going to meet with God. This was like fear. The room was dark (as it normally is because the lights are dimmed for worship) and it was very crowded. I thought I would be okay to just sit in the back but the seats were full. I couldn’t see anyone I recognized and I wasn’t comfortable sitting myself down between people I didn’t know. It was all I could do to run out the doors and plant myself in the lobby for the duration of the service.
Anxiety rears it’s ugly head when I least expect it. And this morning I wasn’t expecting it. I should have just walked in and claimed my healing, telling the devil no, that he was a liar, but I didn’t have strength in that moment to speak truth over myself. Anxiety is rooted in fear, and this morning, for at least a few seconds, I had plenty of it.
So how does one deal with this most uninvited guest? If I could muster up the strength to tell it to go away before it took root in my heart I would. Speaking the truth over ourselves in these times is critical to changing our mindset and embracing freedom once again. I feel as if I am in a season of retraining my brain to think upon good things. Remembering to quote the scriptures I’ve hidden in my heart has become second nature next to believing the lies of the enemy. My brain is camping in a not-so-good place. I recognize it, but it will take time to change my stinkin thinking. I’m so thankful that Jesus doesn’t give up on me. I know He has the power to reach down and pick me right up and place me where I need to be. But there is something about walking through the hard places and the things we learn along the way that make us stronger.
Here are a few verses I’ve been reading today:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:6-8)
Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. (Psalm 55:22)
I wish I wasn’t struggling through so many emotionally places, but this is where I am today. My writing may not make sense. It may not even bring the type of encouragement you are looking for, but if I am to continue writing it will most likely be raw and vulnerable for the most part.
Thank you for being here and embracing my vulnerability. I truly appreciate you!
And now I continue to list the beauty that I’m finding in my every day life.
771. A new rug for my entry way.
772. Meals planned for most of the week.
773. School holidays when I don’t have to wake the kids.
774. Black & White Mochas
775. He calms my anxious heart.
776. Remnants of Christmas that remind me not to rush.
777. Foggy mornings that remind me He goes before me when I can’t see.
789. There is no fear in love.
780. The beauty of a broken and contrite heart.
The Glimpses link up will open at 12:01 AM (PST) each Monday, and will remain open through Noon on Saturday. I am looking forward to reading your posts and visiting your blogs this week!
It is time to share the glimpses of beauty found this week.
Words written, gratitude given, photos taken, things created — anything that reflects the beauty of God revealed in your ordinary life.
1. Grab the button to place in your post, or simply link back here.
2. Link up with the post permalink, and not just your blog url.
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5. Use the hashtag #glimpsesofhisbeauty so that we can find each other’s posts.