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Glimpses

35 In Glimpses

An Uninvited Guest // Glimpses Link Up

I use to love to have people randomly drop by.  Deep down, I think I still would, yet the state of my home brings me so much anxiety. I keep telling myself they aren’t coming to see the house, they are coming to see me. But now with a house full, and literally two families living in it, we are in a season of not having people over. Sure, I could offer them a floor to sit on, or a tv tray to eat on, and I am sure that would be okay with that. But the perfectionist in me keeps saying, “this isn’t good enough.” This is one way that God is working on my heart as I learn to simplify this year. A true friend comes to sit with you, to share her heart, to hear yours and sup in whatever way is offered to her. Truth is, I need people to invade my life, invited or not.

Truth is, I need people to invade my life, invited or not. #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet

This morning, however, I had a most uninvited guest show it’s ugliness and it took me by surprise.  I was running late getting my son to church. I was actually going to visit another church this morning, but since he was serving and two of my kids were leading worship, I thought I would go along with him. I showed up right about the time worship was starting but I so needed a cup of coffee to kick start my morning. The line for the coffee bar was very long but I endured. Getting my coffee about 10:45am, my daughter’s beautiful song already over (although I heard it in the lobby, beaming with pride), I made my way to the sanctuary.  I opened the doors and my heart began to pound in my chest. It wasn’t the excited feeling you get when you know you are going to meet with God. This was like fear. The room was dark (as it normally is because the lights are dimmed for worship) and it was very crowded. I thought I would be okay to just sit in the back but the seats were full. I couldn’t see anyone I recognized and I wasn’t comfortable sitting myself down between people I didn’t know. It was all I could do to run out the doors and plant myself in the lobby for the duration of the service.

Anxiety rears it’s ugly head when I least expect it.  And this morning I wasn’t expecting it.  I should have just walked in and claimed my healing, telling the devil no, that he was a liar, but I didn’t have strength in that moment to speak truth over myself.  Anxiety is rooted in fear, and this morning, for at least a few seconds, I had plenty of it.

So how does one deal with this most uninvited guest? If I could muster up the strength to tell it to go away before it took root in my heart I would. Speaking the truth over ourselves in these times is critical to changing our mindset and embracing freedom once again.  I feel as if I am in a season of retraining my brain to think upon good things.  Remembering to quote the scriptures I’ve hidden in my heart has become second nature next to believing the lies of the enemy.  My brain is camping in a not-so-good place.  I recognize it, but it will take time to change my stinkin thinking.  I’m so thankful that Jesus doesn’t give up on me.  I know He has the power to reach down and pick me right up and place me where I need to be.  But there is something about walking through the hard places and the things we learn along the way that make us stronger.

Here are a few verses I’ve been reading today:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:6-8)

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. (Psalm 55:22)                         

I wish I wasn’t struggling through so many emotionally places, but this is where I am today.  My writing may not make sense.  It may not even bring the type of encouragement you are looking for, but if I am to continue writing it will most likely be raw and vulnerable for the most part.

Thank you for being here and embracing my vulnerability.  I truly appreciate you!

And now I continue to list the beauty that I’m finding in my every day life.

Glimpses #771-780

771.  A new rug for my entry way.
772.  Meals planned for most of the week.
773.  School holidays when I don’t have to wake the kids.
774.  Black & White Mochas
775.  He calms my anxious heart.
776.  Remnants of Christmas that remind me not to rush.
777.  Foggy mornings that remind me He goes before me when I can’t see.
789.  There is no fear in love.
780.  The beauty of a broken and contrite heart.

The Glimpses link up will open at 12:01 AM (PST) each Monday, and will remain open through Noon on Saturday. I am looking forward to reading your posts and visiting your blogs this week!

It is time to share the glimpses of beauty found this week.
Words written, gratitude given, photos taken, things created — anything that reflects the beauty of God revealed in your ordinary life.
1. Grab the button to place in your post, or simply link back here.
2. Link up with the post permalink, and not just your blog url.
3. Visit and encourage others who link up. We need each other!
4. Share about the link up on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
5. Use the hashtag #glimpsesofhisbeauty so that we can find each other’s posts.



 

42 In Glimpses

Just Some Random Thoughts // Glimpses Link Up

If you’ve stopped by to read, comment or link up, thank you!

I’ve missed you so much over these last few weeks, but so needed the time away. Although I’m not feeling 100% on par just yet, you all have been so full of grace that I know whenever I do manage to get something written someone will be here to encourage my heart.

I’m having a hard time getting my brain to function with all of the jumbled thoughts so today is just a random post with some things I’m thinking about.

Don’t let your light go out.  I sat in a great sermon today where the pastor was sharing out of Luke and how the name Luke means “light giving”.  He was adamant that no matter how hard life gets, that we do not let our light go out. We are the only Jesus some people will ever know and so it’s important that even though we grief and struggle that we continue to share the light of Christ with others.

Simplifying takes a lot of energy.  I have goals with this whole call to simplify this year, but I’m finding that I lack the energy to follow though. A good on line friend once challenged me to “finish what I start”, and that has stuck with me for a bit. I have to be careful in this quest to simplify that I don’t work too hard to accomplish everything all at once.  Baby steps.  I have 6 bags of clothes I bagged up just after Christmas and they are still sitting on my bedroom floor.  Lord knowns I need to follow through.

Reading devotional plans on You Version is not a short cut to reading God’s Word. It is God’s Word.  I’m learning to fall in love with God’s Word again using the You Version app on my phone. I’ve been about 90% consistent and for that I am proud.  Part of me felt that I was short changing God by using the app and not sitting down in a quiet place for an hour for a more in-depth time. But God knows what I can handle and I still believe He’s smiling down on me.

God knows what I can handle and I still believe He's smiling down on me. #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet

Being open and honest about depression and anxiety has allowed me to begin to heal.  I go through seasons where I just want to tuck that part of me away. But I’ve lived with this probably since I was a teenager and it’s not something I can hide anymore. Just knowing I am vulnerable and prone to this is helping me to reach out and grab hold of my healing.

Being open and honest about depression and anxiety has allowed me to take steps towards accepting God's healing. #glimpseofhisbeauty Click To Tweet

How about you my friend? What would you like to share with me today?

And now I continue to list the beauty that I’m finding in my every day life.

Glimpses #761-770

761.  My Keurig coffee machine. Saving $$ on coffee!
762.  New recipes for dinner that are a hit with the family.
763.  Bifocals which allow me to see better at the computer, reading and driving.
764.  My phone and the You Version App which helps me to read His Word every day.
765.  Continual free kindle downloads for the Kindle Fire.
766.  Reconnecting with old friends.
767.  Grace and space extended.
768.  Devotionals with manageable bite-sized, but power packed nuggets.
769.  My comfy Cuddle Duds socks.
770.  Learning to accept my imperfections.

The Glimpses link up will open at 12:01 AM (PST) each Monday, and will remain open through Noon on Saturday. I am looking forward to reading your posts and visiting your blogs this week!

It is time to share the glimpses of beauty found this week.
Words written, gratitude given, photos taken, things created — anything that reflects the beauty of God revealed in your ordinary life.
1. Grab the button to place in your post, or simply link back here.
2. Link up with the post permalink, and not just your blog url.
3. Visit and encourage others who link up. We need each other!
4. Share about the link up on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
5. Use the hashtag #glimpsesofhisbeauty so that we can find each other’s posts.



 

15 In Glimpses

All I Want For Christmas // Glimpses Link Up

Here we are, with just a week before Christmas.  Every year it seems this season comes quicker and quicker.  I try to take it slow, to be mindful of those things that truly matter, but I still feel myself getting lost in the busyness of the season.

With our financial situation, I wasn’t sure we would have many presents underneath the tree. But since my husband just replaced the entire roof of our home for the landlord, we didn’t owe much rent this month. Praise God. I was able to get out this weekend with my best friend and do some Christmas shopping. Each of my kids have given me a few things they want and I try to get at least one or two from the list, as well as something that I want to give them, and a stocking full of little surprises.  I love giving, and nothing brings me more joy than watching my kids, even my adults and teens, open their gifts on Christmas morning.

My husband asked me what I wanted this year for Christmas. My response was “nothing”.  I’ve had a few days to think about my response. It’s not that there isn’t anything I want, but I don’t want anyone focusing their time and attention on me, let alone any money.  I’d rather it go to the kids or grandkids.  After much soul searching, I can honestly say there isn’t really anything tangible I desire for Christmas. My list seems harder to obtain, but nothing is impossible with God.

This Christmas, I want to be healthy — body, mind and spirit. I’m working toward this in all areas but it’s going rather slowing. I don’t take good care of myself and I know some things need to change if I am truly going to be healthy.

This Christmas, I want peace in my home.  There are some moments of unrest with me and the hubs, as well as me with my kids.  It’s hard. I’ve become such a controlling person in this season. I’m not sure why. Letting go and allowing life to play out is hard for me.  I feel like I have to make sure everything gets done and most of the time I’m the one doing it. I know I drive everyone crazy.  I  want to rest in the Lord and know He has it all under control.

I want to rest in the Lord and know He has it all under control. #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet

This Christmas, I want to fall in love with living again.  Life has become somewhat of a drudgery for me lately.  I spend a lot of time on the couch, watching tv or reading books; nothing that is growing me spiritually. God has promised me a full life, but I know it’s something I have to pursue.  It’s hard for me to go after it sometimes after having lived through so much disappointment.  I keep reminding myself that there are so many with worse situations than my own.

This Christmas, I want to be consumed by His love again.  I think I’ve been hiding from God. I haven’t been as diligent as I once was in my pursuit of Him.  In many ways I feel lost, but God knows right where I am.  Admitting my shortcomings and failures has been hard.  I can so easily become consumed with guilt.  But I have to remember that God doesn’t judge me, nor does He turn away from me.  God loves me and I want that love to consume my heart again.

God loves me and I want that love to consume my heart again. #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet

How about you? What is on your Christmas list? How can I pray for you?

Glimpses #751-760

751.  Christmas gift bags.
752.  Ripe avocados.
753.  A daughter who loves to bake.
754.  His love that chases me down.
755.  Fresh flowers for my table.
756.  New Christmas music downloads.
757.  Dark chocolate peppermint.
758.  A successful client appreciation holiday party.
759.  New slipper socks.
760.  A successful Christmas shopping trip.

The Glimpses link up will open at 12:01 AM (PST) each Monday, and will remain open through Noon on Saturday. I am looking forward to reading your posts and visiting your blogs this week!



 

11 In Glimpses

God Help Me // Glimpses Link Up

I want to thank you all for your kind comments and prayers last week (which I know is continuing even now).  I am so very grateful for my little community here.  So many have messaged me to check in and I truly appreciate that.  I apologize the link up was not ready Monday morning, but sometimes you just gotta roll with it and I went to bed and forgot today was Monday.

I don’t have much to say right now. I’m taking one day at a time and trying to stay strong, positive and focused so that my mind is where it needs to be for the upcoming Christmas season.  In many ways I’m so numb and feel as if I’m going through the motions.  Call it adrenaline, but I would rather think it’s God covering me with a blanket of grace so that I can continue to move forward, albeit slowly.

God covers me with a blanket of grace so that I can continue to move forward. #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet

I wanted to share a song that has been ministering to my heart these recent weeks.  It’s called God Help Me by Plumb.  I am sharing the video below, but you can find the lyrics here.  Here is just a sampling:

There is a wrestling in my heart and my mind
A disturbance and a tension I cannot seem to drive
And if I’m honest, there’s quite a bit of fear
To sit here in this silence and really hear You
What will you ask of me?
Will I listen to your voice when you speak?

Help me to move
Help me to see
Help me to do whatever you would ask of me
Help me to go
(Or) God help me to stay
I’m feeling so alone here
And I know that You’re faithful But I can barely breathe
God help me

I don’t know the future
It’s one day at a time
But I know I’ll be okay with Your Hand holding mine
So take all my resistance
Oh God I need Your grace
One step and then the other Show me the way
Show me the way

How are you doing? I apologize I haven’t gotten around to answering your comments recently. I’ve read every one and am truly blessed.  I hope to be visiting your blogs soon. Thank you for sticking with me through this season.

Glimpses #741-750

741.  Enjoying the Christmas lights on my nightly drive.
742.  Quiet time for reading.
743.  Hallmark Christmas movies (have I said that already?)
744.  The wonder of His birth.
745.  Looser pants!
746.  Toast with cinnamon sugar.
747.  His presence that surrounds me during worship.
748.  Gift baskets from clients to enjoy at work.
749.  Enjoying Christmas music in the car.
750.  The miracle of creation.

The Glimpses link up will open at 12:01 AM (PST) each Monday, and will remain open through Noon on Saturday. I am looking forward to reading your posts and visiting your blogs this week!

It is time to share the glimpses of beauty found this week.
Words written, gratitude given, photos taken, things created — anything that reflects the beauty of God revealed in your ordinary life.
1. Grab the button to place in your post, or simply link back here.
2. Link up with the post permalink, and not just your blog url.
3. Visit and encourage others who link up. We need each other!
4. Share about the link up on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
5. Use the hashtag #glimpsesofhisbeauty so that we can find each other’s posts.



 

20 In Glimpses

Preparing My Heart To Receive Him // Glimpses Link Up

Thanksgiving has come and gone and we have now entered the Holy season of Advent.  It’s a time of much reflection, anticipation and joy as we look forward to Christmas and embrace the hope of the babe who came to save the world.

My heart isn’t quite ready for Advent.  I haven’t been doing much of anything over this last week. It’s all I can do to muster up the strength to get myself to work each day.  Once home I’m too exhausted to even get online and stay connected in community.

Part of the reason I feel so unprepared for this season is that I know that God desires to do a deep work in my heart. He’s already begun it, but you guys, it’s so painful. When we truly take a step back and look at ourselves and the mess that surrounds us, our eyes are open to the ugliness of our own humanity. I don’t like what I see. I’m a complete mess and feel as if I might crack at any moment. I’m fighting hard to stay in control, yet longing to give up control at the same time. But I can’t have it both ways. It’s not true surrender unless I lay it down and am willing to come away empty handed.

It's not true surrender unless I lay it down and am willing to come away empty handed. #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet

I have taken a hard look at my own heart this past week and realize how desperately I need Him. I am broken beyond repair and only He can put me back together again. But I have to be willing to do the hard work. Introspection may look as if it’s self-focused, but unless we allow ourselves to take a good, hard look at who we are, we will be unaware of the person God intended us to be. Introspection is a good thing, as long as we don’t dwell there.

Introspection is a good thing, as long as we don't dwell there. #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet

This past week I’ve been stuck in that place. I’ve been “me” focused and can feel the downward spiral and it’s frightening.  I’m considering contacting my doctor to discuss my emotional state, but there is a part of me that believes I should just be able to pull myself up and get out of the mess. I’ve been in that place before, where I needed help to get up over the cloud that hovers, but is that the right move? I know that something needs to change and I have to come to a place where I can begin to think rationally again about many things. I need faith to arise in my heart and His truth to consume my mind.

In the meantime, I whispers prayers for God to come closer as I prepare my heart the best I know how to receive the promise of hope, joy and a full life.

How can I pray for you my friend? I don’t have much to give right now, but I know God hears my weak prayers. I would love to lift you up.

And now I continue to list the beauty that I’m finding in my every day life.

Glimpses #731-740

731.  The office decorated for Christmas.
732.  A freshly groomed dog.
733.  Playing trains with the grandson.
734.  Youngest daughter blessing my hearing during worship.
735.  Oldest son debuting another song he wrote.
736.  A smile from a stranger.
737.  Celebrating over 20 years of friendship with my besties.
738.  A new cross-body purse won in the gift exchange.
739.  Trusting my heart with others.
740.  Selling one of our cars – PROVISION!

The Glimpses link up will open at 12:01 AM (PST) each Monday, and will remain open through Noon on Saturday. I am looking forward to reading your posts and visiting your blogs this week!

It is time to share the glimpses of beauty found this week.
Words written, gratitude given, photos taken, things created — anything that reflects the beauty of God revealed in your ordinary life.
1. Grab the button to place in your post, or simply link back here.
2. Link up with the post permalink, and not just your blog url.
3. Visit and encourage others who link up. We need each other!
4. Share about the link up on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
5. Use the hashtag #glimpsesofhisbeauty so that we can find each other’s posts.