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My 5 Minute Fridays

12 In Faith/ My 5 Minute Fridays

Empty // Five Minute Friday

Thrilled to be writing among the beautiful Five Minute Friday community. This is where we write for just five minutes, on a word prompt. We don’t worry about perfection or making it just right, but rather allow the words to flow freely without over thinking. If you’ve never written for the Five Minute Friday, come join us. You will be glad you did!


Sometimes I wonder what difference I am making in the lives of others as I live out my own. Life has been full of the mundane lately — work, homeschooling, house cleaning, cooking, — a life lived on repeat, and I’m not sure I’m making any difference at all.

The truth is, I’m empty. I’m devoid of energy. I lack enthusiasm for living. I have to remember to smile each day and I have to reach for joy.

Why am I telling you this? Because I do not want to portray a life that is all together. My life isn’t together and I feel as if I’m about to completely unravel most days. I made a promise a long time ago that if I was going to write about my life, I was going to write the hard, honest truth, because I am of the belief that there are other people like me in this big, messy, beautiful world.

As we approach Good Friday and Easter Sunday, I am going once again to the foot of the cross. I am broken, bruised, unfulfilled and confused at times about life. I am burdened with weights so heavy that I fear I will break. But I know the answers will come only when I surrender myself to the one who bore it all.

The answers will come only when I surrender myself to the one who bore it all. #fmfparty Click To Tweet

This is who I am:

I’m a woman who carries the weight of her circumstances on her shoulders.
I need others to tell me it will all be okay, because I forget who is really in control.
I’ve camped out in the Psalms over the last few months and can’t seem to move on.
I yell at my kids and they tell me I’m negative and how I’m pushing everyone away.
My husband is struggling physically and emotionally and we barely talk.
I don’t know how to give when I’m so in need.
I like to keep busy so I don’t have to think about all I have to deal with.
My strength is zapped and some days all I want to do is sleep.
I can’t do laundry because I just don’t care.
I can’t clean house because it’s too overwhelming.
I push all my hurt and pain down deep hoping it will just disappear.

I can’t help but think about the weight He must have endured when He carried my fears and failures, guilt and shame, and hurt and pain up that hill. As I reflect on the cross and how He gave it all — for me — I can’t help but cry, “Lord, I’m not worthy!”

But as I imagine Him there, inhaling breath for the very last time, I can almost hear Him saying,

“Barbie, I love you. You are worthy of my love.” And I am reminded once again how love covers a multitude of sin.

As I go once again to the foot of the cross, I will ask Him to take my sin and shame. I will ask Him to heal my hurt and pain and to help me to live a life worthy of being seen by others. As I reflect on the empty tomb, it gives me strength to face my own emptiness.

Only He can fill my voids.
Only He can satisfy my longings.
Only He can fill me to overflowing.

There is a cross. But there is an empty grave. Thank you Jesus that You died and rose again.

20 In My 5 Minute Fridays

Enough // Five Minute Friday

Thrilled to be writing among the beautiful Five Minute Friday community. This is where we write for just five minutes, on a word prompt. We don’t worry about perfection or making it just right, but rather allow the words to flow freely without over thinking. If you’ve never written for the Five Minute Friday, come join us. You will be glad you did!


All my life I’ve been fighting an inner war within myself. It’s a war that leans in to listen to the voice inside my head, loud most days, almost defeaning on others. It’s a voice that I didn’t know I could run from as a child, and even when I did it chased me down and reminded me again and again of my lack.

As a Child of God, I know now that the voice inside my head that causes me to hang my head low and walk with unsure steps is not my friend. But as a young child, not yet knowing the Lord, I mistook this voice for truth. As I grew into adulthood, I began to realize just how much damage those five little words can do to a little girl’s heart.

You are not enough.

I never felt like I had anything to offer to anyone growing up. In my teen years, I wasn’t enough unless I gave freely of what was supposed to be reserved for just one. As an adult, the voice of not enough haunts me as I strive to be the perfect wife, mom, sister and friend.

But the truth is that I am not enough. I am nothing without Christ, and without Him I can do nothing good. There must be a distinction between the voice of not enough that reminds me every day of me lack, my failures, missed opportunities and the voice of Truth that reminds me that,

in my lack, He will meet my every need.

in my failures, He will bring seasons of growth and understanding.

in missed opportunities, He will open doors that no man can shut.

I am not enough. But He is enough for me. Through Him, I can do all things.

I am not enough. But He is enough for me. Through Him, I can do all things. #fmfparty Click To Tweet

8 In Faith/ My 5 Minute Fridays

Define // Five Minute Friday

Thrilled to be writing among the beautiful Five Minute Friday community. This is where we write for just five minutes, on a word prompt. We don’t worry about perfection or making it just right, but rather allow the words to flow freely without over thinking. If you’ve never written for the Five Minute Friday, come join us. You will be glad you did!


What defines you? I’ve come across this question more than once in my life time and it always leaves me stumped.

I don’t believe that there is any one thing that defines who I am, other than Christ in me, the hope of glory. But there was a time when who I felt I was was wrapped up in what I felt I had to do. I know how to keep myself busy from morning to night, constant movement which keeps my mind active, but blocks my heart from hearing God and receiving His blessing.

Life has been defined by busyness lately. I take pride in how well I can accomplish the next task, and whether or not those around me are happy and content, forgetting to care for myself in the process. In the pursuit of a defined purpose, I’ve lost sight of the many blessings God has given to me, those breathtaking moments that I must reach for, lay hold of and pull into my own reality. I want my life to be defined by moments that take my breath away, not by those that leave me gasping for air.

I want my life to be defined by moments that take my breath away. #fmfparty Click To Tweet

If I were asked to define my life at this moment, I would say it’s one big, beautiful mess. I am thankful that I’m not defined by the mess, but rather by the beauty that is uncovered as I lay hold of His promises for me.

I am His and He is mine, and that is enough for me. #fmfparty Click To Tweet

22 In My 5 Minute Fridays

Abandon // Five Minute Friday

Thrilled to be writing among the beautiful Five Minute Friday community. This is where we write for just five minutes, on a word prompt. We don’t worry about perfection or making it just right, but rather allow the words to flow freely without over thinking. If you’ve never written for the Five Minute Friday, come join us. You will be glad you did!


I want to live a life of reckless abandon before the Lord, completely surrendered to His will and to His ways. While I have good intentions, more often than naught I live a pretty ordinary life. I am someone who struggles with spiritual disciplines, who struggles to accept God’s unconditional love and who struggles to reach for the high places.

It’s not that I don’t love God. Oh, I do! But over the last several years I’ve been stuck in a pit and although I’ve almost crawled out at times, I find myself settling in, getting comfortable with my less-than-extraordinary surroundings because it’s so much easier just to accept where I am than to fight.

Living a life of reckless abandon before the Lord is hard. It wages war with my own selfish desires. It’s messy and causes me to constantly take inventory of those places of my heart that need the resurrected Christ to come and bring hope and healing again.

In order to fully live in the light of the fullness that He desires of me, I must abandon the hurt, pain, depression, despair and my unsatisfied heart before His throne of grace.

To live a fully satisfied life, I must abandon my unsatisfied heart before His throne of grace. #fmfparty Click To Tweet

It’s hard to bring these things to the cross, to be crucified with Christ. I’ve become comfortable with the way that I am. These things which are not God’s best for me have become a part of me and sometimes I fear who I am without them.

Yet, I’ve become uncomfortable in my complacent living. So I will continue to fight. I will cry out to the One who hears me, who sees me and ask Him to pull me up again out of the pit of despair and set my feet upon a rock. I will set my face like flint and I will stand. I will continue to pursue a life of reckless abandon.

27 In My 5 Minute Fridays

Purpose // Five Minute Friday

Thrilled to be writing among the beautiful Five Minute Friday community. This is where we write for just five minutes, on a word prompt. We don’t worry about perfection or making it just right, but rather allow the words to flow freely without over thinking. If you’ve never written for the Five Minute Friday, come join us. You will be glad you did!


I believe we have all asked the question more than once.

What is my purpose?

Growing up, I wanted to know that my life mattered, that I was placed on this earth for a reason and that I would leave a mark behind, something to be remembered by. I think these are desires everyone has.

For the last 20 years I walked in what I thought was my life’s purpose. I vowed I would remain in that role until the day I died. But God had other plans.

Despite the fact that it initially broke my heart, I have come to trust that God understands me more than I understand myself. And although what I was doing was good, God has greater things for me still. I’m not exactly sure what those things are. I’m now in the middle of my life and I continue to ask the questions. In many ways, I still wait for the answers.

In the meantime, I believe my purpose is to love God, and be loved by Him. It’s to know God and be known by Him. Does anything else really matter?

I still want my life to matter and I still want to leave a mark. I am learning to rest in the fact that my life has meaning and purpose in the mundane. In my roles as wife, mother, homeschooler, employee and friend, there are opportunities every day for my life to have meaning. God gives glimpses of Himself every day, and those glimpses are meant to be shared with others. My purpose is to reflect Christ in all that I do.

My purpose is to reflect Christ in all that I do. #fmfparty Click To Tweet

I still long to do greater things. I want to self-publish more books. I want to do art again. I want to continue to encourage others through my writing. But what if the greater purpose that I desire is found among the ordinary, among the people I see every day (my family, friends and co-workers), and among the things I do each day, as mundane as they may be. I believe my purpose will be found as I continue living my life to the fullest, each and every day.

My purpose will be found as I continue to live life to the fullest every day. #fmfparty Click To Tweet

How about you, my friend? How are you finding your purpose among the mundane?

Linking up with the beautiful and talented writers of the Five Minute Friday community. Come join us!