I’ve been pondering in my heart…
His grace and mercy.
His desire for me.
His pleasure over me.
I am purposefully trying to slow down, allowing His Words to seep deep into the crevices of my heart. I want to be saturated with Him. His Words are life to my Spirit.
My life is busy. And I often neglect my First Love for the sake of other lovers — family, friends, leisure, work, blogging. And out of this neglect comes a deep sense of my lack and my great need of Him. I do not always nourish my Spirit Man as I should. Some days I grab a quick scripture or two as I head out the door, desperately clinging to them throughout the day, out of a sense of near starvation. But I cannot continue to live there, feasting on the appetizers. I want to eat the full course meal. He’s prepared a banqueting table for me. He is calling me to come and partake.
I am learning to sit, to be still. It’s not easy for me. I am a doer, a person who often feels that if I am not doing for someone than I am missing my purpose. But my purpose is to know Him. The One who created me in my mother’s womb, out of a heart of love. He came — for me. He died — for me. And the more I press in, the more I realize that I do not know Him. I truly do not know Him in the way that I must know Him. I need Him more today than I did yesterday. My prayer has been for God to “open my eyes, that I might see”. I want to know what He looks like. And although I cannot see Him with my human eyes, He has given me His Word which shows me His character, His attributes and His love for me. And then I get a glimpse of Him. And my heart is undone and yearns for more!
And so in the stillness, I ponder.
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” 16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. (Luke 2:15-20)
The angels brought news of Jesus’ arrival to the shepherds. When they came and saw Jesus for themselves, they marveled at His birth, and were excited to share the news with others. But Mary treasured up all of these things and pondered them in her heart.
Ponder: think about, contemplate, consider, review, reflect on, mull over, meditate on, muse on, deliberate about, cogitate on, dwell on, brood on, ruminate on, chew over, puzzle over, turn over in one’s mind.
This is what I am doing in my time away from the hustle and bustle of life. In the quietness of the morning. In the stillness of the evening. I am learning to be.
The Word of God.
In the beginning was the Word.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (John 1:1)
Jesus is the living, breathing Word of God. And this Man Christ Jesus, He is the treasure that I seek. Not out of a sense of duty, because I think I have to. But out of a sense of longing and desire. And it’s something that I “get to do”. Being in His presence is not a “have to”. It’s a “get to”. And when I choose to go, to be with Him, forsaking all other lovers, He comes, and he fills me up. And in that place there is fullness of JOY!
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)
And there in His presence I lean into Him. I quit my soul. I wait. And He Comes, bringing life, joy, strength, hope and rest for my soul. He speaks gently to my heart and I ponder. And I ask, “What are you saying, Lord?” “What does this mean?” How does this apply to my life?”
Be still my heart.
Are you pondering the Word of God in your heart today? What is He saying?