I’m not saying this because I need anything, for I have learned how to be content in any circumstance. I know the experience of being in need and of having more than enough; I have learned the secret to being content in any and every circumstance, whether full or hungry or whether having plenty or being poor.
(Phil. 4:11-12 CEB)
I‘ve been crunching numbers lately, to see how it is all going to work out — gifts to buy, food to purchase, bills to pay. No matter how much I try to not allow my thoughts to go to the place of dissatisfaction, I find myself here. Lingering between contentment and want, between need and desire. The reality is that in this hard season that we are in financially, some things just will not happen the way I had hoped. And giving up the possibility of the little bit extra has been hard. It is in my very nature to give. And, there is a little part of me that still wants. But I have to let go.
I wish I could say that I am totally resting in this place of lack. I’m not. It’s been difficult. Most days, I just want the struggle to end. I want to have the little extra at the end of each month to do the things we don’t normally get to do as a family, like take a vacation or go out to dinner, all six of us.
But sometimes it takes dredging through the hard places in our lives for our eyes to be opened to the things that truly matter. All of these other things that my heart longs for, they are all good things.
But are they necessary?
And why does my heart still grieve the things that will only bring momentary joy and fulfillment.
I want to learn to be content in my place of lack. I want to fully identify with “I have learned the secret to being content in any and every circumstance.” Oh my friends, I have such a long way to go. Will you pray with me, that I will learn to be content here in this place, in this hard seasons of my life? He has never left me. I may not have all of the things that my heart yearns for, but I have the One Thing that my heart is truly crying out for.
Thank you, Father, for opening my eyes to the things that truly matter.
Grace gifts 401-410
401. Katie has been healed!
402. No more cancer for little Ansley!
403. Four beautifully, healthy children.
404. A husband who continues to amaze me by his strength in this hard season.
405. This book from a friend. I cannot wait to dive in.
406. Only one day of work this week, then on vacation until January 2nd!
407. The tension of life, and how it draws me closer to the Lord.
408. Realizing all I have, even in this place of lack.
409. My hope is built on nothing less, then Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
410. He is my strength when I am weak, He is the pleasure that I seek, He is my all in all.
Did you find yourself humming along with me on the last two?
I am linking up with Ann at A Holy Experience today, where we are on a journey to 1000 gifts and beyond. Will you visit this beautiful community of grace seekers? I would love it if you left me a comment below and share one thing that truly matters in your life today.