Today we are sharing our thoughts on Chapter 4 of Made to Crave. If you wrote a post, will you link up here so that we can encourage one another on our journey?
This chapter really stuck with me, and it’s something I’ve been mulling over for a few days. Bottom line, I cannot do this. I am weak. Do I have the desire? I think so. Do I know that I will feel better when I get the weight off? I hope so. Do I believe I am strong enough? Nope.
Instead of sharing a recap of this chapter, can I share my heart with you? You see, perhaps if I share with you the pain in my struggle, the disappointments, the hard places, maybe you can encourage me along the way. And perhaps I will grab fuel from your fire, just enough for one more day.
I am going to be completely raw with you. It’s a vulnerable place, but I trust you. I do not believe that I can do this. Which is perhaps why I’ve done nothing so far on this journey but entertain the thoughts of what if’s and perhaps one day’s. I have to confess. I am allowing fear to keep me from pursuing what I so desire to become my reality.
Fear of failure.
Fear of lack.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear that what I hope for will not come to pass.
I’ve poured my heart out to God and told Him I was sorry for not taking His hand and trusting Him in this process. I’ve repented of the fact that most days, I do not put Him first, because if I truly did, I wouldn’t feel the need to fill every void in my heart with food. But the neat thing about God is that He already knows this and yet still He waits for me to come to Him. He is waiting for me with open arms. And He whispers to my heart,
“You don’t have to be perfect, but you have to begin. Are you willing to take my hand, letting go of your fear, and fall forward into the grace that I will so freely give you on this journey? You can do this. Do not allow fear to paralyze and immobilize you. Walk forward and give yourself the freedom to change, and know that I am right here to catch you if you fall.”
So we are talking about accountability today. I have never, ever been so raw and personal before on my blog. I have hesitated to share my weight with you out of fear that I wouldn’t be accepted. But I am tired of listening to the lies of the enemy, who only comes to kill, steal and destroy.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)
So as I move forward on this journey, each week I will share with you my WI, as well as a little recap of how I am doing (what’s working, what’s not, how you can pray for me). Even if there is one person coming to encourage me, that may be all the fuel I need to keep going. I hope you don’t mind. I need the accountability. I need you to “get in my face” with your comments and give me some tough love! I give you permission! Just tell me to “back away” from the sugar which is destroying my body.
So what is my plan?
I’ve known forever that I must rid my body of it’s addiction to sugar. But being an emotional eater, it’s been really hard. Here’s another confession: Every time I visit the grocery store, I get a candy bar and eat it on the way home. This may not seem like any big deal to you. But for me, it’s about shoving food that isn’t good for my body into me as a means to relieve stress or other feelings that I just can’t seem to cope with. Do any of you sneak food as a means of coping? For too long I have allowed the enemy to tell me to keep this a secret, because after all, if I were a good Christian I wouldn’t need to fill my voids with Hershey Bars and Peanut M&M’s. Well, I’ve told him where he can go!
So, beginning tomorrow (and I mean it), I am going to begin weaning myself off sugar. But I need you to pray for me. This is a huge bondage in my life and it needs to be broken. I also must commit to drinking more water. I drank 3 bottles today, which is okay, but I need to triple that. And, beginning tomorrow I will be using MyFitnessPal to log in what I eat every day. I will also commit to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly here on my blog.
Starting Weight: 201.8
First goal: 175
So there you have it. Too much weight for my 5’2″ frame. Hopefully next week I will post a loss!
Thank you for sticking with me on this journey. I know these posts are much different than what you are used to seeing here, but it’s only once a week. And this is me being raw and real. I so appreciate your support and encouragement. Now it’s time to link up your posts so that I can come and encourage you! Be sure to stop over to Venessa’s blogand leave her some encouragement too!