I want to thank you all for your encouraging comments on my last post. And I want you all to know that I really am okay. I don’t want you to think that my lack of Twitter skills has me feeling down. I am so thankful that you all accept me for who I am, insecurities and all. I wouldn’t know any other way to blog, but to be transparent and vulnerable with where I am on this journey. Thank you for your love and grace.
So my lonely post got me to thinking about how small and insignificant I often feel. Compared to most people and their accomplishments, I feel small, almost unnoticeable. If I were to be honest I would have to say that I measure my accomplishments (or lack thereof) with the wrong measuring stick. There is something inside of me that wants to be great, to know that I matter, to know that what I do is making an eternal difference. In my smallness, I crave affirmation. Isn’t it a human need to feel loved and affirmed?
The Kingdom of God is upside down. The love and affirmation I seek can only come from God, and Him alone. I don’t want to live my life for the praises of man. I know it’s wrong to seek the attention and approval of others. I want to stay humble, to stay small in the eyes of man. I know that in due time, God will exalt me for His higher good.
But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
(Matt. 23:12 NTL)
Although I believe He has called me to do great things, big things for Him, I also believe that He can use me, in my smallness and insignificance, in even greater ways. Most days I feel like all I have to give to him are the crumbs I failed to sweep up off the floor. Those crumbs represent dreams yet unfulfilled, failures, past hurt and pain. They keep me small, hiding away from the big world of making a difference for God. But when I give Him my brokenness and the cracks in the otherwise smooth surface of my heart, that’s when He can move even more powerfully than if I offered Him up my perfection (of which I will never be), or my shiny bare floor without a crumb to be seen.
My friend, God can work in your smallness today. When you feel unseen and insignificant, He sees you, and you have to believe that what you have to offer will be a blessing to others. Sometimes, and I believe most of the time, God moves more powerfully in our smallness. When we choose to remain meek and lowly, humbling ourselves before Him, that’s when He picks up the ashes of our lives and breathes afresh and anew. Beautiful things are made from broken places.
Be encouraged, my friend. You do not go unnoticed. What you do does not go unseen. For the One who truly matters is pleased with your humbling offerings.
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