Words. They haven’t come easy for me over the last few days. I took a break from the writing, as I shared my 31 days of art & inspiration, welcoming a break from stringing words together just right. And then I launched my new site, talked about my book and my newsletter and was so excited to come here and begin painting words on this new canvas.
But the words haven’t come. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say. I want to tell you all about what God’s been doing in my heart, how I’ve learned through my failures as a mom, how homeschooling isn’t going so well, how I’m learning to love my husband through loss, and so much more.
Perhaps it’s exhaustion. Perhaps I’m trying to hard. Maybe it’s just not important.
Sometimes we hang on so tightly to things that it’s hard for God to have His way. And I think right now God is saying it’s okay to take a break, that you will still be here when the words come. There are days when you simply have to focus on one thing at a time and not have to worry about doing it all. Book promotions, editing, social media, Tweets, it can all become too much that you can crumble under the weigh of it all. And when the writing becomes hard, that’s when I want to quit, throw in the towel and say I’m done. Because really, it shouldn’t be hard. I want to write from the overflow of my life. So I’ve had to ask myself, “am I living life, truly living, in such a way that I have memorable moments to share”? This is what I’ve been pondering over the last few days.
So today I am just going to let go, to save my sanity. I am allowing myself to not give into the pressure of writing a pillar post, or anything tweetable for that matter. Today I just wanted to be real and let you know that writer’s block is hard to breakthrough at times. And with the writer’s block there is a lock in creativity, and exhaustion, and lack of sleep, and fighting the lies that say “you can’t do it”, “you aren’t good enough”.
Am I really struggling with writer’s block, or am I fearful of taking the next step in this journey?
My heart is processing and pondering. Today I will simply let go and give it to God, knowing that the words will come, in His time, as I lean on Him.
And so I wait.