by Ashley of The Heart of Ashley
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. (Proverbs 18:21)
These days you can find me mostly doing one of three things – mothering, cleaning, and desperately seeking Jesus.
Let me back up. My husband has went from working and coming home every night to taking on a new job and being gone away from us weeks at a time. My whole life and world revolved around him — his support, his encouragement, his help, his presence, his words, his prayers, his love. He fixes everything and makes it better- with his family and his house.
So when the day came for him to go for a short time, I thought I would crumble. Actually, I knew I would. I just didn’t know how to go on being the only parent and ALONE. I have a 5 and 2 year old. Enough said.
The past weeks without him have been just as I described. I mother. I clean. And I am in my Bible more than ever. One sweet lady whose husband is a seasoned out-of-town worker told me that I would rely more on Jesus than ever- and she was exactly right. I’ve been running to the Book, Sunday school class and church, and prayer. I’ve breathed, slept and ate scripture because I am not enough and I can’t do it alone. I know now what I needed even with my husband here — more Jesus.
One of the best women in the world teaches my Sunday school class. I’ve learned so much from her, and this past 2 weeks she has been talking with us about speaking life. I never realized how detrimental my thoughts and my words were over my life and my blessings until I heard her speak on it and direct me to the scriptures about it. The tongue is powerful and we can use it two ways. It can stop us from moving on or it can direct us where we go.
I was using a lot of it for darkness. Thoughts like I can’t do this, I’m not enough, I can’t measure up, I can’t see this working out, God won’t bless me like that, God might be looking over me, just to name a few.
Then I would speak it to people. And when you speak what’s in your heart it can either bless or curse your life. What I thought I had validated in my head as the truth only made me see that it was a lie when I would tell someone. The enemy puts this lie into our head and wants us to believe it and live it out as the truth.
Then I went to the altar on Sunday and asked God to forgive me for accepting and holding onto this fiction.
My Sunday school teacher dared us to live out our truth. Even if our pasts were scary, even if we had made mistakes, we could bring it to the light and know that we aren’t that person anymore. We don’t have to carry it with us into who we are now. We are forgiven and we are set free from it. It doesn’t have to dig its way in and attach itself to our souls.
That’s NOT our identity. Our first name is not what we have done. It’s who we are in Him.
It’s up to us to speak His truth into our life instead of death, and we must forgive ourselves and others for failing to do that.
It’s changed my life, it’s changed my heart, and it’s radically changed my mind. It’s made me stronger in Christ, and no matter what comes my way, I am capable of thinking and speaking goodness over my circumstances.
Won’t you try it?