It is said that one is born with passions, clues as to what it is they are supposed to do on this earth. But what if someone has not yet uncovered their passion. What if the question is still being asked, “what is my calling in Life?”
Ironically, just today, a pastor at my church was talking about the call of God on our life, and how we should be pursuing it. But I wrestle with my calling. I understand that I am a wife and mother, and those are relevant callings. Yet, there is a burning desire within me to understand what my purpose is here on this earth. How will I be used to bring glory to God?
I told someone today that I was passionate about writing, blogging and painting. And he asked, “but, is that your calling”, and I cringed. I began to doubt, to question — what am I doing all of this for? Has God truly called me to write, to share my heart, to express myself through art, or am I just doing it because I like to do it, without the anointing of the Holy Spirit?
As I’ve said in prior posts, I never dreamed as a child. I’ve had to fight to find acceptance, value and worth in everything that I do. And perhaps that’s part of the problem — it’s not people’s opinions of what I do that is important, rather, what does God say? [Tweet “How has God wired me to bring Him glory? Am I being faithful with the desires of my heart?”]
More often than not, finding out what you love doing most is about recovering an old love or an inescapable truth that has been silenced for years, even decades. When you come to your dream job, your thing, it is rarely a first encounter. It’s usually a reunion. So instead of setting out to discover this thing you love doing, you’ve got to change your thinking and set out to recover it, maybe even rescue it. – Quitter, Jon Acoff.
Our art must not only be found, but uncovered. I believe a lot of the art I was made to live lies buried beneath childhood hurt and pain of not good enough and unworthy. And ever time I get close to the edge of passion, I want to turn and run.
Your childhood dream delights God. I don’t say that because every secret dream will come true. But having a dream is evidence of a person who is fully alive. Having a dream is a reflection of the image of God. – A Million Little Ways, p. 67
But what if you don’t know what your childhood dream is?
This chapter of the book brought me to tears, for the very fact that my childhood memories will not allow me to uncover those little girl passions that I know that I was born with. There are entire chapters of my little girl self that are missing from my memory, and I do not know how to go back and find them.
And so I trust. Trust that the One who fashioned me together, who knew me before the foundations of the earth, will continue to birth passion and desire in my heart, and help me to uncover the little girl lost and the passions that lie deep within her heart.
This is the fourth post in a series entitled Becoming Living Art. Each Monday I will share what God has revealed to my own heart while reading through Emily Freeman’s A Million Little Ways: Uncover The Art You Were Made To Live. I was not paid in any way for my thoughts or quotes. I would highly recommend you read the book. It’s really good.