Lost: Five Minute Friday
Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and a beautiful community of writers at the Five Minute Friday where we are given a word prompt and write for just 5 minutes for the joy of writing. No editing or backtracking necessary. No need to be perfect. This is where I get to write, letting it all go, allowing the words tucked away deep inside my heart to find their voice.
Lost
It’s been a long, grueling four months. I wrote my last FMF post in February. I needed to step away from writing. I needed to tuck myself under the shadow of His wings and let Him pull me closer. And in the process, I feel as if I’ve lost myself, my voice, my passion and my desire for writing. I thought perhaps I’d take a couple of months off, only posting over the weekend, allowing my blog to flow with the inspiring words of others through my Featured Friends on Wednesdays. But it’s been five long months. And this one who feels lost, she doesn’t now how to find her way back. And when she does manage to find the words again, she doesn’t know what it will be like. Will it be the same? Probably not. It will most likely be different, and that scares me a little bit.
I miss going to bed at night with words swirling around in my head. I miss waking up, rushing for the pen to jot down the words before they are lost. I miss responding to blog comments right away, and reading your blogs. I miss writing. I miss connecting. I miss you.
However, I am realizing that it’s only when we allow ourselves to be lost, that we can truly be found. And in this season of still, even though there’s been heartache and battles fought along the way, my Savior, He has found me.
I would give it all up for Him. I would. I am finding is that as I bring my lost self before His throne of grace, He is opening my eyes to the reality that is all around me. He is opening up my heart to receive His love for me in greater ways. He is opening up my mind to receive His words, and His alone, to be used for purposes not my own.
When you are lost, you long to be found. And He has found me.
I may feel lost in this big world of blogging. But one thing I know for sure, my Jesus looks for me. His eyes are ever on me. He sings over me with joy and smiles at the thought of me. Yes the words are slow, lost somewhere in the deepest parts of my mind and heart, but I’ve been found my Him and He will not let me go.
It’s been a long four months since my last Five Minute Friday post. It’s good to be back! I look forward to visiting your blogs and reading your encouraging words.
Linking up with Lisa-Jo and a beautiful community over at the Five Minute Friday. Join us?
My computer crashed last week and I’m still playing rebuild and catch up on so many things. I was SO thankful to find this beautiful post in my inbox. Rejoicing with you, Barbie, and praying.
Barbie, it is so good to have you back. Your words are always such an inspiration. As much as I missed you I am also encouraged that He met you in a mighty way during your time away. Thank you for sharing the struggle and the rewards so openly and honestly.
Yes, you are never lost with Him. How inspiring that you have let Him have His way with you and not struggled or refused to obey through this season He has had you in. I like the new design of your blog, too.
Thanks Laura! Interestingly enough, I haven’t landed on this particular design. I do like it, but I’m waiting to purchase a theme that I think I may really love. Have a blessed weekend.
Barbie, asking Him to give you the words to write down first for Him, then for yourself, and if fitting, then for the rest of us! It has been amazing watching you tread through these past few months. Your determination and yes, patience have been an encouragement to me as I have been struggling with similar doubts and burdens about my writing. Today once again you encourage me with these words. May my prayers reach God’s ears and heart so that He may bless you once again with the richness of His words.
You are such a blessing to me Sherrey. Thank you for cheering me on and for your prayers.
Great to “meet” you, Barbie. And what beautiful words. May you live in the joy of being Found.
Thanks for stopping by Courtney!
Love you, sweet friend. And I just loved when I got to these words, “He sings over me with joy and smiles at the thought of me.” Yes, indeed He is. Sending hugs your way. xoxo
Have a beautiful weekend Beth!
Girl – I love you so! You are such a gift… and even this time away – this time called apart… you are giving us grace and boldness to pursue Him and run after Him, even if/when it means stepping away from the screen and giving our own blogs a rest! (Speaking as one who is on a much less Bossy -self imposed- schedule for Blogging this summer! You have given me grace to listen to Him more than any of the other voices that tell me what I should be doing!
Oh – it’s so SO NICE to have you back!
~K~
Awe, thank you friend. I love and adore you!
Passing along His gift this morning: “The Lord your God is with you, he is might to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
Thank you Susan! Love that scripture.
Oh friend, this is beautiful!! So glad that God tucked you in His arm and showed you His love in a new way!! Btw your haven’t lost your voice… it is still beautiful!!
Thank you my beautiful friend!
Barbie, Yes, He IS looking for you, pursuing you, wooing your heart even in these lost places. Your heart poured out here is just so tender, so beautiful. I have no doubt that this season of losing your voice and finding more of Christ will be a hallmark on your journey and many will be touched by what you’ve learned through it. Praying for you this morning. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably.
Thank you so much Becky! Have a blessed weekend.
Welcome back, Barbie! I know that feeling – due to work and stuff, I have only been writing once a week – and I miss the words swirling – I feel lost without them, too. Sometimes I wonder if He thinks, “That swirling feeling? Not everyone thinks that. I’ve given you a job, a gift. . . Go to it – I gave it to you. . . let it bless you.”
I think your writing voice sounds like a friend gone on a long trip and come home!
Thank you so much for your sweet comment. Have a beautiful weekend.
My friend,
These past months have also found me lost in a sea of not writing, not yearning, and not knowing where to go next. Thank you for being honest about the process, it helps to know we are in it together no matter how big or small we are in the blogging world. God holds onto us. oxox
AMEN Sarah. So thankful to have you running this race with me.
Getting LOST under the shadow of His wing. What bliss! And yet it’s so, so easy, I think, to rather get lost in the “doing” and in “being someone.” Thanks for the reminder that being found in him is SO MUCH BETTER.
Thanks so much for stopping by Hannah!
His words will flow through you again. Your soul will light up at the broad net He casts to take those words to all who need to catch them.
Lots of love, Barbie.
Heather, you are a treasure. Thank you!
So glad to see you back! Yes, sometimes our own words can seem lost in the big open world of the internet yet I’m proud of you for being brave and sharing today! It was wonderful to see and hear from you again! You have been missed! 🙂
Thanks for much for stopping by Rachel!
Barbie, it’s so good to have you and your words back. It’s hard getting back into the flow and rhythm – like walking across a current. We have surely missed you, too. We can do this! I hope that your time away has given you a new perspective and drawn you closer to God. I hope that it is truly freshly brewed. 🙂
Thank you so much Amy! It’s been a hard journey back to pulling out words. I’ve so missed the FMF community and am thankful for the open arms extended, despite my absence. Praying you have a blessed and beautiful weekend.
Barbie, I am beginning to realize that although we “feel” lost, we truly are never lost. Each and every part of our journey, even the silent days, are the very process He uses for us to find ourselves in Him. May you feel His Presence with you today!
AMEN Joanne! Thanks for that beautiful reminder.
It is inspiring to see how you are clinging to the truth that you know in the middle of the storm: Jesus sings over you and smiles at the thought of you. I am praying for you sister, right now. Keep clinging!
Olivia, thank you so much. It’s those like you who keep me moving forward. Hugs!