Where God Met Me
by Carrie of Let Hearts Bloom
May I share something very personal and uncomfortable? I tend to believe lies. For most of my life I never questioned authority. Whether it was my parents, church leaders, teachers, employers or government.
Sadly I didn’t recognize the key authority – The Authority that conceived Truth.
I remember the diligent preparation for my Holy Communion sacrament in first grade. The memorization, the proper placement of my hands, the rules for accepting the bread and responding to the priest. Yet no one taught me to look at or read God’s actual words.
As a gift for completing the church ritual, my grandmother gave me a brand-new Bible. But I wasn’t shown where to begin. Nobody spoke. Religion was reserved only for Sunday. The book lay in its box for decades, unopened.
Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised that I fell prey to the lies. I had no foundation, no starting point to shed light on the darkness or to prove right from wrong. So the crafty lies festered like an untreated sore. They ruled over me. Until God stepped in.
By His great mercy, He pointed to my flawed opinions and beliefs and patiently exposed the errors. It wasn’t – and isn’t – easy to be corrected by our Heavenly Father but I believe He does everything for love.
It is monumental for me to say this because the biggest lie I clung to was
1. God abandoned me.
I may as well have adopted the mantras, “I don’t need God to live,” and “I don’t need air to breathe!”
Childhood trauma ran amuck in my household. I felt helpless and hopeless. Because I didn’t know the Lord’s promises, I succumbed to the lie. I lashed out at God and blamed Him for the chaos.
God never disappeared, my faith did. How could I expect peace if I rebelled against the only One who provides healing? It is no accident that the first scripture I memorized as an adult was Joshua 1:9,
“Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid…for the Lord thy God is with thee.”
Unfortunately, the first lie naturally led to
2. God is full of wrath.
Imagine a scared girl believing an angry impersonal God sat upon an unreachable throne, poised to punish her.
Guilt was an everyday emotion. If I disappointed my family and myself, surely God would be furious too.
Then I learned Jesus Christ came to earth to die on the cross and pay for the world’s sin. He paid the debt and offered the free gift of salvation. He calls me His child, His friend and His bride. Those are not the words of a distant untouchable God! Those are of unconditional love and acceptance. The more I read the Bible and listened at Sunday service, the quicker the lie was defeated and buried.
“By this we know love, because He [Jesus] laid down His life for us.” (1 John 3:16)
Do I continue to fall for lies? Yes, I still struggle. Does this lie sound familiar?
3. I’ll never be good enough.
Initially I used these words as an excuse to behave irresponsibly. I twisted logic. If I wasn’t good enough, why try harder? But guilt swallowed me up. I knew I was making poor choices.
Eventually I did try harder – I sought perfection! And failed. Again and again.
The good news? I don’t have to be good enough. Jesus is. He is all I need. His blood sacrificed at Calvary cleansed me pure.
My walk isn’t about what I think or feel; I must obey Christ and do what He says. The way to be obedient is to seek the scriptures – where God met me nearly three years ago – and follow The Truth.