This post is part of a 31 day series on change, where I share my reflections in just 5 minutes. To read all of the posts in this series, click here.
As a Christian, I don’t like to admit when I am running from fear. But this week, it caught up with me. All of the “what if’s” connected to my unemployment, the fact that my husband is making very little money right now, and the fact that we have an ever growing pile of bills, let alone our rent, all coming due in just a few short weeks. I’ve tried so hard to push it back to where it came from, but sometimes it overtakes you.
One thing I realize this week is I let my guard down. I’ve lacked a few days of Bible reading, I haven’t been pressing in to His presence and I know that He is the only one that can give me the peace that I so need in this season. In the midst of the storm, I took my eyes off of Jesus and found myself in the dark, mirky water, reaching for air. I forgot to put my armor on this week, and left myself open to spiritual, physical and emotional attack. Fear got a hold of me and sat like a ton of bricks on my chest. I felt crushed underneath the weight of it, gasping for air as I cried out to God to bring breakthrough.
Yes, my circumstances are very real and what I am facing in my lack is real. But, my God is bigger! I have to choose to believe that He will do what He said He would do. I have to choose to trust that He will provide — Jehovah Jireh, my Provider. His grace is sufficient.
My prayer is that in this season, God would teach me to trust Him at a greater level than I ever have before. I cannot hold onto the past, and I cannot control my future. In this season when I am being stripped of everything I know, I pray that I will draw closer and trust the One who is worthy, the One who satisfies my dry and weary soul.
My security is not found in a job, or monetary gain. My security is found in Jesus and in Him alone.
Teach me to trust You, Lord. For your yoke is easy, your burden light. I choose to believe that You have good things up ahead. I will trust you with my future.
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