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How Can Busy Women Really Rest? // Share The Brew With Betsy de Cruz of Faith Spilling Over — 34 Comments

  1. So good, Betsy! We have made it a practice in our home to keep the Sabbath set apart in that we don’t plan activities. The kids hate it. I love it. But in time, I trust they will understand it is for our own good that God gave the EXAMPLE of rest. It is natural for us to resist it, isn’t it?

  2. I grew up in a denomination that worships on Saturday and teaches that from sundown Friday to sundown Sabbath is a day that God gave us to rest and re-create in Him. I’ve never lived without Sabbath. I really do love the day. First of all, it’s God’s gift to me to spend more time with him. For me, that means shutting off the electronics on Friday night and setting aside all of those things that clamor for my attention during the week. We listen to Christian music and read or study our Bibles. Sometimes, we have students over for cookies, milk and conversations (we work at a boarding school). I wake up early and after my devotional time, I go on a bird walk or a hike. I often go to church (although I confess it’s not been easy these last three years because we moved to a new state and our local church’s worship style is different from my worship style), and share worship with others or teach a class. In the afternoons, it’s all about service. We might invite someone over for lunch so that they don’t have to cook, or we take students out on hikes or bicycle rides and spend time loving others. When the sun goes down, our day of rest has ended and we feel rejuvenated and relaxed and ready to hit the week running. We sometimes have to eat out and purchase gas on Saturday if we’re traveling, but we prefer not to, because it detracts from the peacefulness of our day of rest. Basically, it’s a 24-hour playdate with God :).

    • That sounds wonderful, Anita! You could definitely write your own post with some of these ideas! I like how creative you guys are with your Sabbath: a play-date with God! Cool!

  3. When my kids were young, Sunday was the most stressful day of the week for me! Our Sunday School started at 9:00 AM and I remember many tiffs in the car on the way to church! I usually played the piano and had to fulfill all those requirements, come home and finish dinner preparations, and return at night. But one thing was always a MUST – and that was the Sunday afternoon nap!
    These days, I still play piano on Sundays and have to be there at 8:30 for sound check and practice, but we almost always go out to dinner to give me a break. And then a nap. Time has slowed for us now that most of the kids are gone. At least on Sundays!

    • I remember the little kid days too, Ruthie. In fact I remember a friend telling me once that she HATED Sundays! (Pretty sacriligious, huh?, and she was a missionary! :-)) My Sundays have calmed down a bit too, although my teens can get me riled up because they have a hard time getting out the door for church.

  4. These are wonderful ideas, Betsy. I’m finding more and more that I have to give myself the time to rest one way or another, or I’m no fun to be around. And as my husband says, “If mama’s not happy, no one is happy.” 😉 Thank you for reminding us how important it is to make rest a priority. God created it for a reason!

    • I’m with you, Abby, but I find resting has gotten even “harder” since I started writing! If I’m not doing kid stuff or house stuff or cooking stuff or ministry stuff, I’m trying to write! I really want to be more intentional about leaving down time for myself. Happier mama, happier family!

  5. Oh Betsy, How timely is this for me! Our Father knows what we need so much better than we do. I know HE is confirming to me to slow down. When I go to bed at a set time and get at least 8 hours of sleep a night – I function so much better – and then there are those nights like last night – and I stayed up just a little longer than I should – and I am dragging today. Sundays are my favorite – I can rest for sure – but I know GOD wants me to slow down and clean up my habits and schedule! Thank you for this confirmation today friend! Love you! Great writing!

    • Oh yes, Melanie! I notice such a difference when I stay up too late. Totally agree with you there. I’m trying to get back to more disciplined bed time. My body clock is set to wake up early no matter what time I go to bed!

  6. Hey Betsy! The busyness on Sundays is something I’ve definitely noticed in my adult years. There’s a lot on Sundays, even kids’ sports. I find it tiring. While growing up, it was the “rest” day. Most businesses were closed and activities were ceased. No housework nor yard work occurred. Naps were in store for my parents, which I hated because my busy-body self had a difficult time slowing down. This area can always use a second look, and I’ll give it that today through God with prayer. It’s likely that there’s more rest awaiting. #Writeon, my friend. #LivefreeThursday

    • You are right about the sports on Sundays, Kristi! I’d forgotten about that. Thank God we haven’t had to deal with that in the past 2 years after my daughter quit her skating team. I can even remember when my husband and I first married. We’d take naps or read! (Gotta get back to that?)

  7. These are wonderful tips! On Sundays, we are usually at church from 9:30 – 12:30 due to choir, bible study, worship, and fellowship. We usually visit with my in-laws after and then don’t get home until after 3pm. Still we find ourselves trying to get things done around the house.

    i love the idea of doing a little bit each day, instead of leaving it all for the weekend. i think I need to adopt that practice, not just for work but for prayer as well.

    • Great idea, Michelle: pray a little every day instead of saving it for Sunday. I like that. Wow, you have a busy church and family schedule on Sunday. I can totally relate to getting home at 3 or 4 and trying to get things done!

  8. I have also been working on doing this resting thing more intentionally and regularly. Sundays are not restful for us because we are pastors but I do have a couple of things I instill and have done for years. One is I don’t cook on Sundays. We eat leftovers or we order out/in. It’s a fend for yourself kind of day. I don’t do dishes or any kind of cleaning on Sundays.

    For a family day we take Fridays, we usually visit book stores, antique shops or second hand stores. Dave and I go for coffee or lunch together and then in the evening we watch a family movie with the kids, play games or go somewhere together.

    I also try and rest on Saturdays as well… reading/relaxing and even yard work because to me that is relaxing. I try and also rest each evening by unplugging with a book before bed. It helps to slow my mind and I can settle in better.

    • Wow, you have some great ideas here, Rachel! I love the idea of a reset on weeknights by unplugging and reading before bed. That’s one area I want to make progress in. And your Fridays sound lovely! So glad you shared this!

  9. Betsy – your wisdom is overflowing. God recently has been putting on my heart to take Sundays. Not to look at it as a day that I can fill because we are “off” after church, but see it as the gift it is. But, I also love your tip to take our Sabbath rest in the way and time God leads us – He is gracious to allow us that. Yes, rest – I’m ready and willing to hold on to it with both hands!

    • Yes, Tiffany! Isn’t it easy to fill Sunday up because, after all, we’re “off,” as you say! Sometimes I find that my “off” days convert into my most stressful days because I have overly high expectations of getting a lot of stuff done. Not a good use of my day off. 🙂

  10. This is such a timely message for me. I get busy doing and have a hard time resting, yet I know God has very good intentions for wanting us to take a break. As a mom to a young and energetic little boy who I spend everyday with (and am so glad I do), rest is something that I have to be more intentional about making time for. This is a good reminder to me of the importance of honoring a day of rest. Thank you!

    • I’m sure you find it challenging to rest chasing after your boy, Hannah. May the Lord bless you in your intention to find time to set apart for refueling.

  11. When my husband was pastoring or on staff at church, Sunday was our busiest day. Finding a different day of the week to have some down time was a must. Even still some Sundays are crazy with activities at church. But making sure we take time to worship the Lord and relax with our families and friends keeps us thriving. Thanks, Betsy, for reminding me of this important commandment.

    • I’m sure you can relate, Sabra, since your husband was in the ministry. But it’s true that even for “regular folk,” Sundays get get busy with church activities! Sometimes it can be hard to find balance.

  12. This is so important, and yet SO hard for me to do. I love to rest, but I actually feel guilty when I sit and do nothing. I need to work on this. Our society pushes productivity and instead of being productive we are exhausted. I am going to remember your words as I go into my weekend and try to be more intentional with the Sabbath. Thank you for these words.

    Barbie-your blog is beautiful!

    • You are so right, Alecia! We need rest desperately, but then we end up feeling GUILTY! That would be me! Productivity really drives us. I think the Catch 22 is that really we’re more productive if we’re rested, but it just seems to go against our human logic.

    • You are so right, Alecia! We need rest desperately, but then we end up feeling GUILTY! That would be me! Productivity really drives us. I think the Catch 22 is that really we’re more productive if we’re rested, but it just seems to go against our human logic.

  13. I love this Betsy! God poured a lot in to me last summer in regards to silence and Sabbath! I wrote my 31days series on entering into His Rest… it’s so vital! I am just starting The Good and Beautiful God and the first couple of training exercises are sleep and taking five minutes a day of stillness and quiet. (That’s my kind of homework!) 😉 Great post!

    • Five minutes a day of stillness and quiet sounds like a GREAT homework assignment, Karrilee. Is The Good anda Beautiful God a book? I need to look that up!

  14. Thanks, Betsy, for more wisdom on this important subject. It is SO easy to “just” throw in a load of laundry on Sunday … “just” check my work email … Not that there is anything inherently wrong with these actions themselves, on any day of the week, but it’s the mindset behind it: the feeling that it all depends on me to keep on top of things. Sabbath (whenever and however we take it) is not just a break, but a recognition that God’s in control, not me. I just finished a study of Margaret Feinberg’s Scouting the Divine at church, and that was the major thing I learned from it — that God has everything under control.

    • Jeannie, you are wise yourself in discerning that it’s all about trusting God. I find it hard to really trust that God will enable me to get everything I need to done later if I take time to rest now. KWIM? And I agree, nothing’s wrong with throwing on a load of laundry ot checking e-mail, it’s when I do ten of those things that I end up more exhausted on Monday than ever! 🙂

  15. This is so challenging for me, and I know the reason I struggle is that I loose sight of God’s love (and my family’s love!) for ME — as opposed to “what I accomplish.” When we stop and rest, we demonstrate that we are not trying to BE God in our world. I always find encouragement (or conviction) when I read your words, Betsy.

    • Wow, Michele! That is so true! We forget that God loves us enough to just want to be with us. We’re children, not slaves, like Galatians says. (I once heard a speaker say that slaves can’t really rest!) I think it boils down to trusting God as well. Do I trust God enough that I’ll be able to get my work down if I take time to rest?

  16. Betsy,

    I was reading some of your insights to my husband, and when I got to not cooking on Sunday, he just said, “Well cook more on Saturday” lol. Leave it to a husband.

    All kidding aside, you make some really good points about keeping the Sabbath holy. I definitely need some work in this area. (Or lack of work). God’s wisdom is so far above our wisdom…we would do well to imitate Him!

    Blessings,
    Bev

    • That’s pretty funny, Bev, about cooking more on Saturday. Leave it to a man! But seriously, it’s hard to rest when we have so many “home making” responsibilities, isn’t it? Blessings to you. Hope you can free up your Sabbath a bit more. I certainly want to do it for myself.

  17. This is the hardest thing for me to do. I had a student a few years ago who told me that she set aside one day each week when she planned nothing. She didn’t schedule anything. She made sure all assignments for school were done before or after that day. And she told me she had been doing it for years and it was sometimes hard to find a day each week, but she forced herself to really commit to NOT committing at least one day a week. And she would still do things with friends if she felt like it and the opportunity arose, but she was able to do what SHE wanted to do on that day because she had made no commitments to others. I thought it was brilliant, but also impossible for me. But it really isn’t impossible. It is just hard to do. But, I do feel like it is something that would make me so much happier and more productive the rest of my days. This reminds me to start thinking about how to make that happen.

    • Good luck with trying to make that happen, Sue! I think in the long run we’re lots more productive working when we take time to rest, but IT IS HARD, as you say! For me planning nothing for a whole DAY might not be so possible, but a whole afternoon or a whole morning is more do-able. 🙂

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