I didn’t want to go to church this morning. I know, shocking. I am still exhausted, and honestly I’ve been a little down (a lot down) over the state of our finances. I’ve been in this place before, where our lack overshadows His promise to provide all that we need. It’s a daily surrender of my cares and worries, laying them down again and again and choosing to trust instead of allowing myself to focus on my reality.
Depression is something I’ve struggled with much of my life. I am thankful I don’t have it as bad as some, but I recognize it for what it is and try my best to do what I need to do before it completely overtakes me. I wanted to stay home this morning to rest, which really meant I wanted to drown my sorrows in Netflix and chocolate. But my youngest daughter was co-leading worship this morning so, as any good mother would, I pulled myself out of bed and got myself together to support my daughter.
I sat in the lobby for an hour before service (she had worship practice early) and spoke to a few people, hugged a few others, but mostly kept to myself as I sipped my latte and played games on my phone. All this time I was fighting back tears over my lack of community in a place I hardly feel as if I belong anymore. But I go for my kids now. And, I go to worship the Lord because He is worthy of my praise and adoration in all seasons.
God is worthy of my praise and adoration in all seasons. #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet
Worship was amazing, as always. My dear daughter worshipped her heart out and made this mama oh so proud. After worship we heard many testimonies from summer camp (both my youngest attended) and I shed tears as one girl shared how God saved, healed, delivered and restored her all in a matter of a day or two. I was reminded in that moment of how big and powerful God was, and how He is more than capable of meeting our needs.
Following the testimonies, Pastor called all youth ages 18 and younger to the alter for prayer. My husband located our 14yo boy and headed down to where he was, and I sought out my 17yo daughter. By the time I made it down to where she was, she was surrounded by her peers who love her well. Instead of shoving my way in, I put my hand on her shoulder and agreed with those in prayer who were surrounding her. Following the prayer time, as my daughter was hugging her friends, she turned to me and we embraced. As I pulled her in, I told her how proud of her I was, how much I loved her and asked her forgiveness for any way that I may have hurt her. Tears were shed. In that moment as I pulled my daughter in, God pulled me into His presence.
Even in my depressive state this morning, God found a way to pull me in. He started in worship and continued with the testimonies and finished with the embrace of one who hardly lets me in. If I had given in to the way I was feeling this morning and stayed home, I would have missed that moment with my daughter.
No matter what you may be going through today, God wants to pull you in to His presence and remind you that He is working on your behalf.
He is a good, good Father and He is for you.God is a good Father and He is for you. #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet
And now I continue to list the beauty that I’m finding in my every day life.
541. Son and daughter coming home from camp with renewed joy and focus.
542. Son and daughter being water baptized a second time while at camp.
543. Hearing testimonies from leadership as to how well my kids led others while at camp.
544. Going to church, even when it’s hard.
545. Seeing the bigness of God through the testimony of others.
546. A meaningful hug from a distant daughter.
547. Tears of joy.
548. He lifts my head when I am down.
549. He comforts me in my sorrow.
550. He turns my sorrow into joy.
The Glimpses link up will open at 12:01 AM (PST) each Monday, and will remain open through Noon on Saturday. I am looking forward to reading your posts and visiting your blogs this week!
It is time to share the glimpses of beauty found this week.
Words written, gratitude given, photos taken, things created — anything that reflects the beauty of God revealed in your ordinary life.
1. Grab the button to place in your post, or simply link back here.
2. Link up with the post permalink, and not just your blog url.
3. Visit and encourage others who link up. We need each other!
4. Share about the link up on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
5. Use the hashtag #glimpsesofhisbeauty so that we can find each other’s posts.