It takes a lot for me to be able to admit the depth of my reality at times, however, I know this is a safe place and I do this not to get attention, but rather to hold myself accountable. You are my people and this community has extended so much grace and I know there is more and more grace.
We all fall short and need a little grace from time to time, don’t we?We all fall short and need a little grace from time to time, don't we? #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet
Over the last year, or more, I’ve struggled to get into God’s Word. I think it all started when I began focusing on the many disappointments that I faced — times of intense prayer for God to do something, that didn’t happen; praise for a new, well-paying job for my husband that only lasted a short time due to a still undiagnosed injury; prayers for healing that never happened. And years earlier, prayers for God to save our home which we ended up having to sell.
I don’t like admitting that I’ve put myself in a place of doubt and fear. I’m struggling to get back to a place full of hope and faith. In the beginning, I would read His Word and just weap, and then the lie of the enemy came in and told me that the promises contained in His Word weren’t for me, that I had somehow fallen short and wasn’t worthy of receiving them. It became harder and harder to read His Word and allow it to sink deep into the crevices of my dry and barren heart. Over time, I closed the Book for a bit, and as more and more time has passed, I’ve been ridden with guilt over not doing what I know I so desperately need to be doing.
I know I need to begin again, but I feel like a new Christian and I don’t know where to start. I’ve always struggled with reading just for readings sake, but I know that perhaps I just need to begin, and allow the Lord to take hold of my heart again.Perhaps I just need to begin and allow the Lord to take hold of my heart again. #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet
I don’t want to die on the vine, but that’s exactly how I’ve been feeling. Parched, worn out, hungry, lost in a sea of unbelief. God has come to give me abundant life and it’s about time that I start living in that abundance.God has come to give me abundant life and it's time I start living in that abundance. #glimpsesofhisbeauty Click To Tweet
So where do I go from here?
I don’t have a plan, other than to read His Word, every day. I’ve lost my way and I need Him to breathe life back into me.
I am being vulnerable and transparent with you (as I’ve always been) so that you can hold me accountable. Ultimately, I know this is a journey that I alone must take, but if God brings me to your mind, will you pray for me? Will you FB message me or text me and ask me what I’ve been reading in the Word?
I hope to write a post each week about my journey in His Word (yet another way to keep myself accountable).
Have you ever felt yourself dying on the vine? What have you done in the past that has helped you?
Thank you for allowing me to process life as it unfolds — the messy, beautiful and everything in between.
601. Low calorie tea when you are trying to kick the coffee habit.
602. A fast track at the ER when suffering another flare up.
603. Quickly run tests to determine the issue.
604. Tiny steps towards health.
605. A great first day of school for my freshman and senior.
606. More cleansing tears shed.
607. Relatives with air conditioning to escape from the heat.
608. Sugar-Free Popsicles.
609. His grace abounds, still more and more.
610. When the night is holding on to me, God is holding on stronger.
The Glimpses link up will open at 12:01 AM (PST) each Monday, and will remain open through Noon on Saturday. I am looking forward to reading your posts and visiting your blogs this week!
It is time to share the glimpses of beauty found this week.
Words written, gratitude given, photos taken, things created — anything that reflects the beauty of God revealed in your ordinary life.
1. Grab the button to place in your post, or simply link back here.
2. Link up with the post permalink, and not just your blog url.
3. Visit and encourage others who link up. We need each other!
4. Share about the link up on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
5. Use the hashtag #glimpsesofhisbeauty so that we can find each other’s posts.