The last couple of days has been hard. In my last post, I spoke about being secure in the storm. A couple of days ago I asked God if I could stay there — hidden in the shelter of His wings. I did not think I had the strength to weather this storm. I’ve never walked this way before. I don’t have directions to get me from Point A to Point B. I feel lost. I am reading His Word and finding strength there, but my mind, will and emotions are taking their own sweet time catching up. God told me that I could not linger there in the safe place, high in the cleft of the rock, where the storm cannot find me. He told me instead that He would go with me, back down into the valley, and walk with me through this storm — and that this too shall pass. What, might you ask am I dealing with? I am going to put it out there, because I feel like I need too. I have tried to hide it, taking it with me into the safe place, wanting to hide it and appear as if nothing was changing. But it’s time to look reality in the face.
We are losing our home. It did not happen over night. This storm’s been looming for quite some time. Have we made poor financial decisions? Yes. Did we fall victim to bad loans? Yes. No matter the reason, the fact of the matter is our home is no longer ours. We have taken steps during the last year to make things better, but every door we attempted to walk through was closed. So now we find ourselves sifting through 15 years of accumulated stuff as we frantically pack and search for a new home, all before December 1st. I don’t know where we are going, but I trust that He has gone before us and is preparing a place that is far beyond what we could ever hope or imagine. I am learning that my spirit can yield and be in perfect peace, but that it takes work to keep my mind, will and emotions walking in that peace. Almost daily I deal with waves of different emotions. And I will admit that there are moments of gripping fear like I’ve never known before. Those “what ifs” that creep up and whisper to you in the middle of the night so you can’t sleep, causing you to wake up sick to your stomach in the morning.
But I trust.
But when I am afraid, I put my trust in you. (Psalms 56:3)
They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the LORD to care for them. (Psalms 112:7)
And I rest.
Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14:13a,14)
Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. (Psalms 91:1)
And I hope.
Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for and hope for and expect the Lord! (Psalm 31:24)
You will have courage because you will have hope. You will be protected and will rest in safety. (Job 11:18)
Let your unfailing love surround us, LORD, for our hope is in you alone. (Psalms 33:22)
And I wait.
But if we hope for what is still unseen by us, we wait for it with patience and composure. (Romans 8:25)
You are my strength; I wait for you to rescue me, for you, O God, are my place of safety. (Psalms 59:9)
But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)
We are moving forward even though we cannot see where we are going. The picture I have in my head is of us (my family) walking down a long dark corrider. Our arms are stretched out in front of us and we can feel the Lord’s hand in ours. There is just a tinge of light at the end, but we know that God is leading the way. So we trust Him to guide us through the darkness.
So that’s what’s been going on with me. I will continue to blog about what I am learning on this journey. I hope that you will be encouraged in whatever situation you are facing. Nothing is impossible with God! Allow Him to take your hand and lead you through the dark place.
We would appreciate your prayers! I can’t wait to testify to what our Amazing God has done for us!