As a woman in her mid-fifties, it takes a lot of discipline for me to feel energized. I don’t have the best sleeping habits, meaning I stay up way too late and get up too early. Even though I try my best to eat healthy, I’ve hit a slump. Last year at this time I had lost nearly 30lbs in just a few short months. But then COVID hit and well, I’ve been carrying the weight of the world on my shoulder, not to mention worrying about my husband’s loss of work. It’s straining for sure.
When I lost the 30lbs I had so much more energy. I could run up the stairs in my house without feeling out of breath. I could get on the floor and up again without help. I just felt healthier and that led to feeling energized.
I haven’t quite gotten my mindset back that I can do this weightless thing again. I’m trying but I’m not succeeding (which really means I’m not trying as hard as I can be). But I know that I have to. I’m too heavy and this is putting undue stress on my body, not to mention my state of mind.
I’m hoping to begin putting things into place again — meal prepping, tracking every bite, staying away from added sugars, making healthier choices and exercising. I don’t want a quick fix and it has to be manageable. It worked once so I know it will work again.
If I follow the plan, I will be on my way to feeling energized once again.
It takes a lot to get me feeling exasperated – intensely irritated or frustrated, or so I thought. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that I tend to keep feelings of exasperation held up inside, and this creates all sorts of physical issues for me — headaches, shortness of breath, dizziness, let alone feelings of overwhelm and anxiousness.
Some of the things that can leave me feeling exasperated are:
- Making mistakes at work.
- A messy house that no one seems to care about but me.
- Feeling as if my husband is not paying attention to me.
Exasperation is a feeling, and not a reality. When that feeling creeps up, I have to look deep within myself and ask what is the root of this feeling. Most often, there is an underlying reason that is causing the irritability and frustration.
Do I need to slow down at work?
Do I need to stop trying to control the people in my life?
Do I need to forgive my husband?
Whenever I feel exasperated, I have to take a deep breath and remember that God is with me. There is nothing that He cannot handle, especially those things that feel out of my own control. When I invite Him in, he helps me to stop, relax and breathe. When I meet Him in prayer, he removes my exasperation and replaces it with peace so that I am able to resume living in a state of rest.
God comes to bring peace in the midst of my frustration. I simply have to ask.
I often put too much emphasis on the externals. What is happening around me. What I look like. How heavy I am. The things I’ve done wrong in my life and how I can never redeem that time.
I struggle with depression from time to time. Thankfully, it’s not bad enough to have to take medication any more, but I get the blues too often. When I find myself in that place, the dark and negative thoughts take captive in my mind and the emphasis is placed on what’s not going right, what I don’t have, what I don’t feel like doing.
I want to live life full, overflowing to the brim, the way God intended. In order to stay in that place, what I focus on or what I place emphasis on has to change. Even on those days when I am not feeling my best emotionally I can make a decision to find something positive to dwell on — I am healthy, my children love and serve the Lord, I have a job that I love, we have everything we need.
Even on those days when I am not feeling my best emotionally I can make a decision to find something positive to dwell on
Today I am making a decision to focus on the good in my life. Perhaps I will begin counting the gifts God has given to me again here in this space. It was always a great way to put emphasis on all that I have to be thankful for.